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Power of Fear

He's a struggling writer. He aims to write only what he's experienced in his life.

power-of-fear

Background

The Indian folklores impart moral and spiritual value of the highest order. These stories are timeless.

I've adapted one of such stories in this article. It's not the exact translation, but the theme is taken from an ancient story.


King and the Prince

A king wanted to save his first son at any cost from perilous death, in order to prolong his dynasty.

He had to protect his son from the lion. Because the royal astrologer had predicted it while preparing the zodiac chart of the child.

Relying on the forecate, the king summoned a court and declared: the prince shall not go for any hunting expedition.

Years passed, one day the prince paid a visit to his principality in his territory nearby.

He was given a royal welcome with garlands of flowers, music and dance. He had a grant feast with his guards and the hosts in the evening.

After savouring the feast. it was time to retire as night fell.

So, he went to the regal bed room. He had hardly set his feet inside, he dropped dead!

For his eyes had fallen on a ferocious lion on the wall.


5 Mistakes: Self Review

The story above gives me a lesson to learn from my own mistakes.

I look back and see myself as if I am looking at the mirror.

I’ve found myself that fear has riveted firmly in my imaginary world of writing for over two decades.


Mistake 1:

Priscilla Kibbee from New York had gifted me with her personal books on writing. She had spent more than thousand of dollars all together for those books. She had her signature in all of them. Obviously, she was a writer.


After receiving those books from her, half of them I shared with a friend of mine. Sadly, he’s no more in this world now. Half of them is still with me now.

I have read all of them, but I did not practice the assignments given in those books. I just drifted on wishful thinking of becoming a writer!


Mistake 2:
In order to encourage my students and new friends, I lent them books. As years passed, I haven’t seen anyone's by line so far in any news paper, magazine or books. At least they write and upload their activitues of daily life. Well done. It is up to them what they choose to be.

One funny thing happened in 2003. One person borrowed David Lambuth’s Golden Rule of writing from me.

I got the book back after one year!

At first, he invited me for a treat in the evening in downtown. After having the treat in a restaurant, he took out the book from his bag.

It was already too old. He told me that the book had passed through many hands in the valley and it landed up in Pokhara also.

He didn’t tell the exact numbers of English lecturers who photo copied it. I got the clue why he gave me a treat!

I don’t know how many of them have shared the knowledge with their students or have become writers. I know of myself. I am a struggling writer that too only in Hubpages till now.


Mistake 3:
Why only in Hubpages?
I had attempted in contributor. Yahoo.com in 2011. Few articles got selected. Later on my account was terminated.

The reason was my own mistake. I did a lot of editing. As my account was terminated, I got nervous wreck in my own little world of imagination.


Then I googled and found bullews.

I attempted posting articles like a frantic mad dog. I found them disappear after some months!

I know I also will disappear someday from this world. So why should I blame them.

I look normal to the outside world but I felt nervous in my inner world due to my own attempt to become a writer.


Mistake 4:
Fear had gripped me so much that I may be terminated from Hubpages also.

I think it was my self created fantasy. That’s why I had just 3 articles for last 4 years.

I’m aware my articles are struggling to grab the readers’ attention. To remove this fear, my only solution I see in front of me: Just write.


Mistake 5:
I spent too much time with the persons who needed help in the past.

Yesterday onwards, I’ve started to discriminate. I took a student from U.K. to a research center for transcribing the texts she had collected from the library of archaeological department and various sources. She’s studies in a univercity in Kathmandu.

While listening to their discussion in the research center, I got a call from a person who has a shop around Boudha. He has his own kind of a habit which I respect.

After closing his shop, he pops into a pub for drinks, then only, he heads for home. He called me thrice right from the afternoon till the 7 pm yesterday. I told him that I was still busy in the meeting.

He’s fond of my companionship while drinking in the pub. I don’t know why. Interestingly he pays all my bill of snacks I eat.

This is my practice of discrimination, from yesterday I have stopped meeting him in the evenings.

I have realised that helping someone searching for truth through education is a billion times better than spending time with a person who searches truth in the bottles.

power-of-fear
power-of-fear

© 2020 gyanendra mocktan

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