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Power of Acceptance!

Sujata is an architect by profession and has a passion for writing. She shares her life experiences through writing, hoping to be of help.

Traumas are real! And all of us have been through it, in some form or the other. Either when we were kids or when we grew up. We either remember it or have no memory of it.

But we definitely remember how it felt and how broken we seemed then.

The saddest part is that a lot of the times we tend to belittle someone’s trauma because it might seem small in comparison to others. Someone might have lost a loved one to death. And that is huge. It is a forever loss, and it stays. But that does not make anyone having a heartbreak any less traumatic.

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It is all an individual journey. And we need to learn and understand that we cannot compare one’s journey to another and judge.

But these are very external matters. The real struggle lies within us individually dealing with our traumas. Many a times, a lot of people do not even talk about their traumas and deal with them internally alone.

As someone who is an introvert myself, I understand how tough it can get to speak about our internal struggles. We tend to keep our weaknesses inside leading to a lot of anxiety and overthinking. Any small incident even slightly similar to what we have been through earlier, ever happens again and our brains get rewired. We go back to feeling broken and helpless as we felt the first time. This is probably because we have not overcome from the first incident yet. We keep circling our thought process in the past and it becomes extremely hard for us to believe that things could be any different. We are not able to accept that what we feel, or think is just in our heads.

There will be a lot of incidences that might be repetitive for us in life. And that is probably because no matter how things happen, we tend to go back to our past experiences and fail to see the present. As someone who is still dealing with past traumas, the most important lesson for me has been to accept the fact that what happened in the past is past. And not the reality today.

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It was only recently, while I was holidaying with my family in the mountains that I could come to accept the fact that every situation is not the same.

Just to put things into perspective, due to certain incidences in the past, I got into a habit of doubting everything and everyone that would come to be a part of my life. I had, and I still have, trust issues with people. My suspect mode would always be on.

But recently, when I went to the mountains and stayed there for few days amongst nature, it really opened my mind. I would not say I saw nature and bam, it just clicked to me. It was only on the last day, when I kept repeating and revisiting my life, the present and the past, I realized that the people or the situations that are happening today has got nothing to do with what happened earlier. I was being too attached to my previous life because of which I could not see anything from a different perspective.

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That day when I was listening to the gushing wind suddenly my point of view shifted. I came to accept that what happened, was in my past. And what is happening today has got nothing to do with my past trauma.

It came to me that the sooner I accept this truth, the sooner I will have a more relaxed and peaceful life. Because I was still living in the past in my head, I would tend to overthink everything. Every time anything does not happen the way I imagined, I would go so deep into overthinking that I would just end up depressed for a long time. That has actually ruined a lot of relations for me, some new and some old. Only because it was so hard for me to accept my present as it is.

Today, when my acceptance has gone up, I have also become more forgiving.

By forgiving, I mean releasing myself of the trauma that was and forgiving myself for making myself suffer so much for so many years.

By forgiving, I mean being okay with any situation and accepting that it is okay if something seems similar to what happened earlier and accepting it as it is.
By forgiving, I mean accepting gracefully if someone does not understand me because not everyone understands.

By forgiving I mean being okay if something does not happen the way I wanted to, because if it is not flowing easily maybe it is not meant to happen.

By forgiving, I mean accepting everything as it is and gracefully letting go of what is not staying.

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And that has given me immense mental peace. It has just been three days to be precise to have understood the Power of Acceptance, but it has been extremely peaceful.

A very simple incident today, where a person that I interact with everyday just did not respond to me like every day. Probably, three days back I would go mad over why I did not get the regular response. But today, from my core I felt that there was nothing wrong in it. Probably, she was busy with something else or was in a different state of mind and had nothing to do with me in particular. I just accepted that there is nothing wrong with me. I only need to do what is necessary on my part, and what follows, follows and what does not, just does not. It came naturally to me. I did not have to convince myself into it. And that was peaceful.

And the same day, another incident. Just because of my overthinking and not dealing with my past trauma clearly, I misbehaved or rather I would say did not treat right. Past incidences kept popping up in my head every now and then and that became very disturbing for me. So, I completely started ignoring an individual. Only after I gained clarity about my past, I realized that the problem was actually with me. I was the one who hasn’t dealt with the trauma yet and I was throwing my problems onto someone else. Though I tried rectifying it, it did not seem to be working. It did not upset me. But I accepted the fact that it might have been just too late for me to rectify my mistake and it might never get better again. And with that I also open handedly accepted that if that is not working out, that it is alright. Somethings are not meant to work out and it did not. And it is okay. I did not beat myself up thinking why it did not happen the way I pictured. It did not and it is okay. And that feels powerful.

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Acceptance is a very powerful tool. I have gained immense power and control over my mind, and I am no longer concerned about what others think or say. Accepting that no one is thinking about what my life looks like or what my life is, and everyone is busy with their own ongoings in life is extremely powerful. Accepting that everything is just okay, and no one is having any hidden agenda is peaceful. To accept and let go of what is not in our hand is powerful. And this clarity and acceptance is the most peaceful feeling on earth,

To Do Our Part And Let Be Of What Is What It Is

power-of-acceptance

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