Your goal-getter-girl who believes that compassion, empathy and kindness go a long way.
"Some bridges are meant to be burnt, some roads are never meant to be travelled again" - Steve Maraboli
I used to have a photo wall inside my room where you could see the people who became part of my life. A photo wall that reminded me of how blessed I was with the people around me. An everyday reminder whenever I wake up that they are the ones that matter most. You see, when you're having fun, you don't think something terrible will happen next, or if you're going to experience friendship breakups and get your heart broken, you don't see these things coming because you live in the present. Little did you know that there will be heartaches and heartbreaks along the way. People you love the most can hurt you too, your friends can hurt you too. Now, I no longer have a photo wall - just a wall with no photos and they only live in memories.
Couple's break up is worse, but friendship break up is the worst. You think you're gonna be best friends for the rest of your life. These are the people you thought will never break your heart. You've witnessed breakthroughs and breakdowns together, you've been through ups and downs, highs and lows, 'through thick and thin', they say. You've shared your life with them - your embarrassing moments, spontaneous getaways, and everything in between. But then life happens, and they're no longer part of your present. They became strangers for you, and you to them. Somehow, somewhere along the way, you drifted apart and chose to move forward, even without each other.
As we grow older, life makes it mandatory to lose people in this so-called journey. Some friends are seasonal. Some stay for a certain period, some stay for good. Some people come and go.
It's okay to miss old friends who are no longer part of your life. These burnt-bridges taught these friendship lessons. Life has a funny way of teaching us the hard lessons.
- Friendship isn't forced
You don't have to change yourself just to be accepted and loved by your friends. True friends will help you change for the better and will not force you into someone you're not. They love you for who you are and still accept you for the person you're becoming.
- Friendship isn't one sided
Just like in any other relationship, it's a give and take set-up. Friends need to compromise at times too. As they are giving you a chance to grow, give them the chance as well to help them grow.
- Friendship isn't just based on shallow things
I used to think that friendship revolved around having the same likes and interests. Well, that could be a good start, but life reminded me that it's not how friendship works. It's based on deeper connections and deeper values. It's about that irrevocable bond that glues you together. There's more to life than liking the same stuff.
- Friends respect you and your boundaries
In friendship, there's a thin line between boundaries and familiarity. As we get comfortable with our friends, sometimes we forget that we have to respect their privacy and readiness. You can't make fun of your friend's insecurities and use that weakness against her, that's damaging and not respectful, at all. Also, if a friend doesn't want to share things yet, respect it. Let them figure things out on their own, they'll know what to do when they're ready.
- Friends cannot control you
Friends cannot dictate you what to feel and not. You cannot control their choices and decisions. You can’t impose your beliefs because they are their own person. They have a life on their own and you don't own them. You can only love and support them.
- Friends celebrate your victories and grieve with your downfalls
Friends are not just there for you in good times but most especially they have your back even in bad times.
- Friends can hurt you too
Yes, even our friends can hurt us, they are humans too, but it doesn't mean that they want to harm us. They might have said words or did something against us. Maybe they are just trying to protect us or it's just that our friendship came to an end. It may have gotten to the point where your friendship can no longer be restored. Even if no matter how hard you fought for it, sometimes, there are some things in life that really don't work out. That hurts so much.
Life doesn't stop for us just because other people stop being part of our lives. Things like these happen and all we can do is to move forward. Trust me, you're still going to meet awesome people along the way because life gives us the friends we need in different stages. You don't need a lot of friends, you just need a few ones to stick with you.
© 2020 Ahlgilyn Cabanado
Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on August 31, 2020:
I like this. Moving on but not forgetting your idea of a photo wall is cool. The many pictures I have are of family mostly.