Parents Are Not Resilient.
My parents are the strictest people I know. They never let me do anything I want, everything I do has to go through them first. I'm surprised why our relationship is so special. I could have sworn at some point in my life I felt like running away from them. How could they raise me up like that? They don't understand me, they just want to ruin my life!
These are some of the thoughts that pass through a child when he/ she grows. They mostly kick in deep when self discovery begins. Throughout those stages the parents remain the same. They don't become offended nor do they give up on their children. So they are resilient, from a child's perspective. Nothing you ever do seem to move them, its like they are immune to the pain you cause them.
As a child you become used to the idea that they will always be okay for lack of a better word. All that will change once you realize that they are only human, just like you. When that time comes you might feel a deep desire to go back to them and make your most sincere apology to them but you probably won't because they are resilient, right?
The first time I got my taste of reality was when I had to run an errant with my father. On a cool summer morning we took the van to go fetch some water for the family. It was during that time South Africa was facing a major drought, water sources were scares so we had to do what we could. As I made a turn around the familiar road the van slipped and rolled over ejecting him in the process.
I remained in the car throughout the hurdle until suddenly it stopped. I remember every bit of that crash; the sound, pain on my body and the number of times it rolled. The sound that haunts me the most is the fearful tone in my father's voice as he tried to comprehend what was happening, he didn't speak as such but I'm pretty sure he said something.
When the dust cleared I ignored all that was happening to me and climbed swiftly out of the car and rushed to him. My biggest fear was the realization that he could have died and even though he didn't, I knew I was not going to cope with the fact that I was driving. As tough as he is, on that day I, for the first time, discovered that he is just human, like me.
My son just turned two and already he is a handful. He reminds me of myself when I was growing up. He does so many things, at some point I wonder how my parents used to deal with me. Now I know why my parents seemed strict, they were helping me discover myself. they were making sure I made mistakes in a secure and baby-proof environment.
They might have been too strict or lenient, who knows? parenting is no easy job, it does not come with an instructional manual, it happens at that point in time and even though kids do not understand their parents, one day they will realize that as a child parents are resilient, as adults, they are human just like them. Am I making sense?
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