Our Biggest Weakness Consists In Letting Others Control Our Emotions
Never Let Others Control Your Emotions
It was like any other normal day for me. I woke up in the morning with a renewed zeal and enthusiasm towards life. I knew yesterday was over and it couldn't be recovered. I knew that one must live in the present and do one's best to make the most of it. Those who weep over the dead past can't improve their present and future. These were some of the thoughts that ran in my mind and I left for my workplace with a view to doing something concrete and extraordinary.
But the fate didn't let that happen as it might have something else in store for me. Maybe it wanted to teach a new lesson to me. As I stepped into my office, I heard Mr. Bose, one of my senior colleagues, say to other, "See that social media freak !!! These days he is trying his hand at vlogging. He keeps sending the links of his 'silly' vlogs and blogs to me every other day."
Mr. Bose spoke it loud enough to be heard by me. I knew he was talking about me but I never expected him to mock at me like this. I had befriended him recently and regarded him as one of my friends and well-wishers.
After this incident, all my happiness flew away at once and I felt as if I had been deceived. I went straight to my chair and sat with my hands holding my head. I kept sitting like that for about ten minutes but I couldn't overcome that feeling of distrust that the comment of my so-called friend had begot in me.
This is a kind of unpleasant situation that, I think, everyone faces every now and then. You find people whom you trust the most and whom you consider as your confidants breaking that trust and making fun of you behind your back. You'll find such guys where ever you go and the pity is that their taunting remarks mar your happiness. They are the ones who control your emotions and by blurting out a single mocking sentence, either in front of you or at your back, they seem to be controlling your emotional life.
Such guys are like irritating flies that pounce upon you repeatedly and however hard you try to get rid of them, they'll be everywhere around you to hunt you with their seemingly unbearable remarks.
This brings us to the focal point of this post. Are we so weak that a single taunting sentence spoken by someone frustrates us emotionally and mentally? Being a grown-up person with the highest educational degree at my disposal, I can't be so weak that someone may ruin my day with a single harsh sentence.
I started to think about how my mood plunged into the abyss of sadness from the happiness with which I had started the day. Sitting in my chair with the garb of indifference, I was deeply affected inside. The single sentence uttered by Mr. Bose had given rise to innumerable questions in my mind. Were my vlogs not good enough to impress people? Was I making a fool of myself by sending the links of my videos and write-ups to the people whom I consider my near and dear ones?
Mr. Bose, on the other side, was busy with his work and cracking jokes with others present there as if nothing had happened. Perhaps he was sure his words didn't fall upon my ears. He went about his work in a routine manner. At one point, I thought of answering back by throwing the similar comment at him. In a way I wanted to have my revenge upon him. Thanks to my patience that I didn't retaliate in the heat of the moment and it gave me sufficient time to think over the problem.
Having sat there for about one hour at a stretch, I underwent numerous emotions and a number of similar incidents came to my mind when I had to bear the brunt of heart-piercing taunts. This thought process reminded me of my childhood days when one day I had returned home with tears in my eyes.
My mother who, I think, had understood the problem held me in her arms and asked affectionately, "What happened dear? Why are you weeping?"
I still remember the words I had spoken, "Mother ! I will never play with these boys. They always laugh at me and they call me babbler."
Having listened to all that I had to say, mother had replied patiently, "So what son !! Let them laugh at you. Ignore their words for a while and soon they will get tired when they see you not reacting to them. They will stop calling so to you once they get to know that you don't get affected."
Maybe at that time, I was too young to understand the worth and meaning of her words. But now I know what she intended to say.
Let me tell you all about my mother a bit here. She is by far the strongest lady I have seen in my life. She is the very image of patience and forbearance. She put up with my grandmother who has always been a most fastidious and irritable mother-in-law. I have seen my grandmother laying all sorts of accusations on my mother. But mother took everything in a lighthearted manner and took good care of my grandmother. My grandmother is still alive but now her attitude towards my mother has undergone a complete change. She is all praise for her now. This miracle has happened due to my mother's patience or rather due to her capacity of being unaffected by what was being spoken about her by others around her.
She never thought of taking a revenge upon my grandmother. She, on the other hand, devoted all her life to win the heart of her mother-in-law. However difficult it might have been for her as it took her about 30 years to impress the grand-mother, she ultimately got success in winning over the old lady.
While sitting on the chair in the office, I thought about the struggle of my mother and the advice she had given to me during my childhood days when I had come home with tears in the eyes. It gradually dawned upon me that my happiness ultimately depends upon me. How could I stoop so much as to think of having a revenge upon that poor guy who is suffering from negative emotions like envy, jealousy and malice. Maybe he deserves my pity. I should rather overlook his words and meet him with my usual smile and that can be the fittest revenge I can have upon him.
During lunch break, I left my seat and with a big smile on my face, I went straight to Mr. Bose who looked foolishly at me. I held out my hand to shake hands with him. He too put forward his hand at once with a grin on his face. Holding his hand firmly, I said, "So Mr. Bose !!! You seem quite busy today. Hope you have watched my new video. I have just sent the link to you. Do watch it and let me know how you have found it."
Mr. Bose replied nervously, "Suuureee Dev !!! I'll watch it... ... today itself".
I resumed, "Would you join me for lunch?"
Mr. Bose, confusingly, "Yea...why not !!! I'll come within 5 minutes."
I retorted, "I'll wait for you Mr. Bose."
Having said that, I went out with a big smile to the canteen to have lunch.
This is how I dealt with an unpleasant situation that had troubled me for quite some time. I just changed my perspective and attitude towards the problem and everything seemed alright.