Online Dating Rules - What Are They?!

Updated on November 13, 2017

Investing yourself wisely in an online dating scenario is an almost impossible task

I'm trying to figure out a solution to my problem of over-investing myself (time, personal info, etc) very early on into an 'online relationship', let's call it.

Anyone have any advice?

I'm finding myself disappointed over and over again after thinking that I found a special guy only to have them outright disappear without a word.

I'm a very honest person and have always believed that this is a good thing when it comes to online dating, after all, I expect the same from the guy that I'm talking to. If i feel that they're being dishonest that's a huge turn-off because I find honesty to be so important.

Dishonesty also can and does occur once I meet them in person - they lied about their height, how much hair they have, etc.

Eventually the lie catches up with them, and again - this results in my being turned right off.

So, going back to honesty - I feel that this is an underrated aspect of the online dating world. Wouldn't we all be better off if we were honest from the get-go? I think so.

... and so I answer all the questions honestly and hope that I'm getting the same back.

However, I find that of the 20 guys that I've talked to and invested a lot of time and energy into our 'online relationship' only a small handful will actually end up meeting me in person because they disappear prior to that. With some I've even set up dates with and communication fizzles out just days (sometimes hours) before the meet-up.

Had they been honest with me, they could have told me the reason(s) why this happened, but none were and so here I am, totally confused, wondering what happened, making up stories in my head, trying to make myself feel better about the thing.

The second thing that is tricky is when it comes to the topic of sex.

I find that guys venture into this area fairly quickly after an initial 'hello, how are you' type of message. They want to get off the dating app and talk via text (which requires your phone number being given out) or on the phone to 'get to you know you better'.

My issue is that if I really like the guy I go along with this only to find myself feeling a little too exposed. I mean, in most cases we haven't even met yet and they're asking for sexy pics and such. Sometimes I oblige and other times I don't, but when I do, things start to speed up as far as how we talk to each other, what language we use, how often we talk, etc, and I'm not sure if I can 'bring it back down' to a more innocent type of online relationship where I still feel like I'm somewhat in control.


© 2017 Zita

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