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"Old" is Fine Because I Never Complain

Kenneth Avery is a Southern humorist with well over a thousand fans. The charm and wit in his writing span a nearly a decade.

Old? You call it, but only when you know how many great memories were made in the backseat.

Old? You call it, but only when you know how many great memories were made in the backseat.

This hub is about old. Nothing more. Nothing less. No funny one-liners. No funny punch-lines when this hub reaches the end. I want to, as it were, put an entire new spin on the term, old, and see if I can inject a little bit of life into this worn adjective about old.

What I may touch on may be old men, old women, old dogs, old cars, and old, deserted homes and barns. Not that I find empty and deserted a pleasure trip. It's hard to explain why the term old causes me to think if deeper terms and slow down a little and try to get a deeper definition of old. And there are lots of descriptive adjectives with "old." (e.g. That old guy just went asleep.) Okay?

  • While I'm on this rant, just where did those old time whiskey distillers think that their booze would sell better if they named it "Old Crow?" Why not name it "Young Eagle?" But the spirit-makers just had to throw the word old into their name. Even we humans fell into that "Old Trap" over the years. Of course this was in a good natured way.
  • Two buddies, "Hal" and "Tom" are walking down the sidewalk. A very pretty girl walks toward "Tom" and he just stands there frozen at her beauty. "Hal," the side-kick spouts out, "Hey, that 'Old Tom,' he might look 'old,' but he's a nice guy. That is if you love 'old' men . . .haw! Haw! Even when this one man was trying to do something good, he fell off the wagon and threw "old" three times. I guess that "Hal," was trying to break some record, huh?
Is this man old or just comical?

Is this man old or just comical?

The now-late Country Music icon, Tom T. Hall, had one of his many hits entitled, "Old Dogs and Children. and Watermelon Wine," and I wonder now why Hall didn't think to use 'Rugged' Dogs and Children and Watermelon Wine?" Oh, well. Water under the bridge.

Since I am here on point with the topic of how "old" has been overly-used in other songs, TV shows, theater productions and possibly films;

⦁ Tennessee Williams' hit play, "Arsenic and Old Lace."

⦁ The popular folk song: "Wreck of The Old 97."

⦁ The late Randy Travis song, "I'm Gonna Love You Forever," has a lyric that states, "as long as old women talk about old men."

⦁ The group, Alabama, also had a hit song: "Old Flame (Burning in Your Eyes.)"

⦁ The poet/writer, "Sunning" by James Sterling Tippett, says in the first line of the stanza, "Old dog lying in the sun. Much too lazy to rise and run."

⦁ People everywhere who didn't/did graduate high school or college are always talking about the "Old Times" they had.
⦁ And people who complain about others always singing the same song, telling the same jokes, now to them these things are "old hat."

This cabin is not old, just sturdy.

This cabin is not old, just sturdy.

. ..And Then There's

A few other songs with the word "old" in their titles:

⦁ This Old Man

⦁ "Remember The Days of The Old School Yard" Cat Stevens.

⦁ "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down," Joan Baez.

⦁ "This Old House," Shakin' Stevens

⦁ "Old Habits Die Hard," Bon Jovi.

and this, my friends, is only a short sample of "old" references, writers, and definitions.

In a reflective tone, I personally am proud of my age and I do not feel like laying down in any pasture, glen or meadw. The fact will always remain as long as I am here, I will be there when my time is over. Oh, this is not an "old" wives tale, but the solid truth.

Which brings me to, uhhh, me. I feel "old" enough to be 88, but young enough in my heart to be 44. Why? Don't know. Remember, "you can drive an old horse to water, but you can't make him drink."

Well to be totally-honest. I did take one little libery when I first mentioned (a) horse that you can lead to water . . .but I added, "old to go along with horse."
Just hope no one in the HubPages Editing Dept. read over this hub.

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© 2021 Kenneth Avery

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