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Not Just Another Thanksgiving Wish

Patricia is someone whose life is centered around family. Each day is one more opportunity to show my loved ones how much they mean to me.

Little Man ( Heston Wayne) being silly with his Momma

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November 2018

It cannot be almost the end of November this quickly!! It seems a minute ago I was saying "Happy New Year"---wishing everyone many wonderful experiences in the days ahead. And now it is time already to share wishes for each of you and all of my family and friends a most blessed and lovely Thanksgiving time.

Stef at a Powwow hosting a swabbing for possible bone marrow donors

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Things are not always what they appear to be

How many times have you said to someone who is said to be seriously ill: "O, you look so good. You must be feeling great." Recently a friend of mine said "Oh, Stef looks so good." I can't tell you how many times we've heard that over the years. The words feel like a knife in my chest for they belie the truth. The hard part that's really confusing about the whole thing is my daughter has terminal cancer. Many of you have read of her journey here on Hubpages. Just one of the Insidious things about cancer is that you don't really reflect how you are physically by the way you look on the outside. There are times when you do but for 20 years, pretty much, you haven't been able to tell that my daughter is sick.

I was guilty of saying those words until my family was hit with cancer. Then I learned that how true the old saying that looks can be deceiving is so true.

Loves exploring nature

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A Diagnosis

About 20 years ago my daughter Stephanie was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. A few years later she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She underwent extensive horrid chemo and radiation to try to eradicate both of these cancers. However it only served to slow down the progression a bit but did not eradicate it. And over the year the cancer has metastasized.

Stef and Heston Wayne

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Momma and Baby

The photo above was taken about 10 months ago. Stef's hair had just grown in a bit after 6 weeks of very nasty chemo. Her hair is almost white as it grows in. Sadly it caused no diminishing of tumors now present in many areas of her body. But she keeps on keeping on for her Heston Wayne and her Jay, both who are ill.

Jay and Heston Wayne

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Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.

— Zig Ziglar

Cutest Little Werewolf

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Learning Curve

What have we learned by having all of this illness in our family? We have learned quite a bit as a matter of fact.

  • One of the first things we've learned is that we are not alone. There are more families than I care to count across this amazing land that have the same kind of journey we are having. So I guess one of the things we've learned--- one of the biggest things that we've learned--- is that no family knows when this will happen.
  • The second and probably the most important thing we have learned is that today is so very precious. Wasting time trying to second guess the future is futile and pointless.
  • Embrace and hug tight today and tell your loved ones how loved they really are.
  • Our wish is that this never happens to another family. It is an experience that no one should have to endure. It can tear families apart. In our case thankfully we have been drawn closer together. We are there for each other no matter what time of the day, any day, or night.

I am thankful for every moment.

— Al Green

Refuse to give up and give in

Near the beginning of this article, I shared with you that the doctor had given Stef a new time line as to how long she had left on the planet. The timeline was 6 months to a year. We're at the one year now and praying for many more, months, years even ahead. She was just called by her oncologist earlier this week to be told that she has new tumors in new areas of her body. I don't think she was surprised because she's in a lot of pain now. It's beyond my small ability to comprehend how she could possibly have anywhere else that has not been invaded by this horrible disease. You may wonder how she's able to conduct swapping events for her son when she's in so much pain. I think it's therapy for her. I think it's a big reason why she still on the planet. So many times I've said it and I'll keep on saying it---she refuses to give up and give in.

Continuing our wish

So again our wish is that no family have to travel this road. And we are so very thankful that all of us will be sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner together again this year. We have been told so many times over the years but that might not be possible. So "thankful" doesn't even begin to describe how we feel this year.

Thankful

It is just short of a month till Thanksgiving 2019.

My own personal wish is one that I have never wanted to voice. And that is I don't want her to suffer. As I mentioned above she's in a lot of pain now. Hopefully it will diminish and she'll have another rebound and she'll live on and on like she has done. But my wish as I say is that she not have to endure long grueling periods of pain. It is time to say " thank you" to all of you who have cared for my girl over the years and for my Heston and my Jay.

Sending many Happy Thanksgiving wishes to each one of you this most wondrous time of the year. Another thing we have learned is that everyday is Thanksgiving Day at our house. We've learned not to take for granted so many little things that it is easy to fall into the trap of doing. We talk on the phone and we text and we visit often often often.

Being thankful it's not something we take for granted. Even though it is a bit early Happy Thanksgiving once again to each of you and sending Angels and good wishes to your door.

© 2018 Patricia Scott

Comments

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 20, 2019:

Thank you, Peggy. Every single day is a gift. And so thankful for friends who help us walk this walk. Angels headed your way ps

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on November 14, 2019:

I just wanted to look at the lovely faces of your daughter and grandsons once again via this article. Wishing each of you a blessed Thanksgiving this year. Hugs and prayers are once again headed your way.

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 07, 2019:

So sorry for the loss of your husband. I truly understand . And loving and cherishing loved ones any time regardless of their health is a good thing for them and for us. Sending Angels your way today. ps

Mary Norton from Ontario, Canada on November 07, 2019:

My husband died of cancer and the greatest lessons you mentioned are truly valuable. Even when family members are not sick, it is good to hug them and make them know how much we love them.

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 07, 2019:

You are most welcome. Hoping you have a lovely day. Angels are headed your way once again ps

Robert Sacchi on November 06, 2019:

Thank you.

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 06, 2019:

We are all blessed in so many different ways as you know. thank you for stopping to read and comment. Angels are headed your way this evening ps

Robert Sacchi on November 05, 2019:

Thank you for sharing this story. It is timely since it tells everyone what they have to be thankful for.

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 05, 2019:

Thank you, Peggy. Yes despite what comes we are so thankful for each moment and for friends near and far...like you and yours. Take care. Angels once again are bound to Houston bringing blessings and hugs. ps

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on November 05, 2019:

As you have so often said, and have written, each day is precious and is a Thanksgiving in its own way. May you and your family be blessed with many precious days ahead of which to be thankful. Thoughts, prayers, and virtual hugs are headed to Florida.

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on July 03, 2019:

Thank you Dale We truly try to avoid the darkness that illness can bring. I often say we live in the light Thank you for stopping Angels are on the way this afternoon ps

Dale Anderson from The High Seas on June 26, 2019:

I don't envy you the burdens of dealing with ill health. We've had a lot of it over the last years and it can really tear people up. Hang in there and keep thinking positively.

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on May 08, 2019:

Thank you so much for your kind words She is having a rough patch right now but she keeps on keeping on So many are inspired by her and her sons Life gives you lemons make the proverbial lemonade Angels once again headed your way ps

Rochelle Ann De Zoysa from Moratuwa, Sri Lanka on April 17, 2019:

I feel blessed and pained to read your hub about your daughter's condition and I pray that your daughter would recover soon! I simply hope she won't go through so much of pain. Take care and may God bless you!

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on April 05, 2019:

You are so thoughtful Peggy I do so appreciate your kind thoughts We are awaiting the date of her surgery--still not certain when that will be due to her severe anemia Thank you once again for stopping and for your kind words Angels are once again on the way ps

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on March 26, 2019:

Hi Patricia,

It is understandable that your free time is limited and responding to comments on HP would be way down your list because of what your family is experiencing. I pray that Steph's pain is lessened. It must be so hard to know that she is living with daily pain. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on February 09, 2019:

Thank you for your kind words. I fee so bad when I am not able to get back in a timely fashion to those of you who comment SO much continues to be going on with my family so I often do not find enough hours in the day to come here Take care of you and please know that Angels are on the way this evening once again ps

Rochelle Ann De Zoysa from Moratuwa, Sri Lanka on January 22, 2019:

Oh! I can understand how you might be going through daily. My bestie's mom was told that she would live only three months but with God's grace and His breath, she had been living with cancer for six years now. Daily is a day for being thankful to Him and being able to be with the loved ones. I too pray for healing and strength, hope and comfort into your family as well . May God bless you this year!

Devika Primic on December 26, 2018:

It is important to be grateful for every little aspect in our lives. To give and help the unfortunate and to be kind to others. I like this hub!

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on December 19, 2018:

And the same for you, Peggy. We continue to be thankful for friendships near and far and for each new day. Once again Angels are on the way ps

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on December 18, 2018:

Now that Thanksgiving is in the rearview mirror with Christmas just ahead, I wish many blessings for you and your entire family. Thinking of you with love.

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on December 18, 2018:

It is so true that a person's state of mind can make a huge difference. And for us it definitely has and does. Thank you so much for your kind words and good wishes. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a most blessed New Year.

Angels are headed your way this morning ps

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on December 18, 2018:

As I have stated in the comments to most everyone...I hope I did not neglect to say it to all....I am so appreciative of the kind words and good thoughts and blessings you send. It is a journey that we would never have dreamed we would embark on but we are trying to take it one day at a time and squeeze every bit of goodness out of each interaction.

Wishing the very best to you and yours. Angels are once again headed your way ps

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on December 18, 2018:

Thank you Dora....I hope that your Thanksgiving was wonderful. So much happened that I was unable to get back to respond. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a most blessed New Year. Angels once again are headed your way ps

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on December 18, 2018:

Thank you again Randi....I just could not get on here....I feel bad when I am unable to respond quickly ---I so appreciate your kind thoughts....it means far more than you know. Angels once again are on the way ps

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on December 18, 2018:

Again I must apologize for the long delay in responding. so much has happened since I was here that I barely have time to come on and respond. Thank you first of all for caring and sharing your heartfelt words. So many have used that exact term "Superwoman" to describe Stef. She has an inner strength that keeps her going. I just updated an article Hope Just Ahead this morning that tells more of her journey. Wishing you a blessed remainder of 2018 and an amazing 2019. Angels are headed your way ps

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on December 18, 2018:

I am so uplifted by the kind words that come to me and my family as I share this journey with others. My hope by sharing is that others who are walking a similar walk may find some sense of peace and comfort in knowing that they are not alone and that much of what they experience and feel is shared by others. Sending you many Angels and much appreciation...it is comforting to know we are not alone. ps

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on December 18, 2018:

Thank you Bill...I am so sorry for the delay in responding but so much of my time is spent on the road between my town and my daughter's that I do not have the time I wish I had to come on and visit. You all help lift my spirits. Wishing you a most blessed New Year and the merriest Christmas ever. Angels once again are headed to you and yours ps

Ann Carr from SW England on November 26, 2018:

Hello Patricia! I'm sorry I'm so late to this one.

I admire you and your family so much for the amazing courage and determination you all show. That in itself is a lesson to us all. I hope you had a wonderful family Thanksgiving and that Stef has more quality time with you. It never ceases to amaze me what a person's state of mind can achieve. You have a family of fighters and that is good.

My love and best wishes to all of you. You are all angels, to my mind.

Ann

Genna East from Massachusetts, USA on November 23, 2018:

Dearest Pat, you and your family have shown such remarkable courage, love, and optimism. You inspire us all, and are in our thoughts and prayers. Sending angels, blessings and warm wishes to you as well.

Randi Benlulu from Mesa, AZ on November 23, 2018:

Patricia.

I hope i am not repeating myself as i sn sure I left a message a few days ago. I just wanted to say you are all on my thoughts and prayers. Your family is so lucky and to have you and I know that you feel as blessed to have them.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 22, 2018:

Indeed we did...and it was a wonderful day, Eric. Hoping you and your lovelies had a simply fabulous day too!!

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 22, 2018:

I am assuming on this day that you guys all made it!!! Yahooooo! Do a jig with this dancing angel I just sent.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on November 22, 2018:

Thanks for sharing your attitude of gratitude in the midst of your health struggles. The smiling faces are a reflection of your family's strength. May you and your family continue to experience God's goodness and mercy following you. Happy Thanksgiving!

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 21, 2018:

Rachel...may today be filled withmany blessings. Thank you so much for your kind words...we feel so blessed because we are wished good things by so many. Angels are headed your way this morning. ps

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 21, 2018:

Thank you, Manatita. Thankful for your encouraging words and for caring eniugh to stop and comment. We are blessed. Many Angels are headed your way. ps

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 21, 2018:

Bob...you are amazing. You are walking a walk noone should have to, ever. And I know you truly 'get it' when I share my ramblings. You are a blessing and an inspiration to our family....will read your comment to them as we begin our dinner tomorrow. Keep on keeping on.and know that tons of positive energy are heafed your way on the wings of An g els

ps

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 21, 2018:

Hi Peggy. I commented but am not seeing it. Thank you so much f o r thinking of us. Tomorrow will be a lovely day for us...a time to be thankful and a time to leave cares behind for a minure

Best wishes and many blessings for a special day.Angels winging their way to you. ps

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 21, 2018:

Thank you, Peggy

I assure you my amazing Stef will focus on each of us enjoying our day tomorrow...that is kust who she is. As I have said so many times we are so blessed. Once again hugs and many Angels are headed your way.ps

manatita44 from london on November 21, 2018:

And thank you, Patricia, for sharing constantly and so much of your family and your good self. Appreciated. Needless to say I continue to wish Stephanie and Wayne the very best of God's wealth and yes, you have expressed thanksgiving in such a beautiful way! God bless your loving ... your selfless and devoted life of Love and struggle.

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on November 21, 2018:

Dear Patricia,

Thanksgiving should be an everyday event. I know that it is for you as you take each day and each moment and squeeze all the good possible out of it.

I am so saddened to know that your lovely daughter is now experiencing so much pain. Hopefully, Stef will be able to enjoy this Thanksgiving with her entire family and those memories will be able to be cherished in the days to come.

My heart goes out to you. Sending prayers and best wishes to you and your entire family.

Bob Bamberg on November 21, 2018:

Pat, I'm sitting here in chemo and just had time to read this article. Inspiring, as is all that you write. My journey is quite different than that of Steph, Heston Wayne, and Jay...a comparative cake walk. You all give me the courage I need to fight this fight. When I get some bad news, my thoughts turn to you folks and I realize, "this is nothing."

Your strength is contagious, and I wonder how many people with cancer, worldwide, you are strengthening.

I don't need to wish you and your family a very happy Thanksgiving because you've already indicated that it will be. Bask in each other's company and let the kids know that I'll be hoisting some extra cranberry sauce and stuffing in their honor! God Bless!!

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 21, 2018:

Thank you Venkatachari...we do believe in miracles as I shared in one of my other replies.Several oncologists have told my Stef that the only reason she is on the planet is because of a miracle. Our face is strong and we believe that no matter what comes our way we're going to navigate those Waters. Thank you for the good wishes and know that many angels are headed your way this morning.

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 21, 2018:

Thank you, Chitrangada. We just feel so blessed to have each other and the love and caring of so many friends and peeps here on Hubpages. One day at a time!!!

Venkatachari M from Hyderabad, India on November 21, 2018:

Patricia, you are so brave and positive even during all these hard times in your lives. I regard you highly and wish for some miracle to happen and cure your daughter's cancer. We need to keep faith and trust in the powers of God.

Wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving celebration.

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on November 21, 2018:

I don’t know, what to say, to comfort you after reading this touching hub. Only thing, I can say is, be brave, as you have always been. Very few people can be as positive and optimistic as you are, in spite of so many heartbreaking news and sufferings.

Praying for your loved ones, and wishing you all the best.

May God Bless all of you.

Randi Benlulu from Mesa, AZ on November 20, 2018:

Oh, Patricia, as I read your words, I too, wish for you all, more time, less pain and continued love, love, love. I've said it before and will say it again, you are an amazing woman and clearly Stef is, too. Superwoman can't hold a candle to either of you! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and hold those boys and their mama close.

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 20, 2018:

Thank you, John. I scrolled down after you reposted and found your original comment. We are blessed and we never forget that. "That which does not kill thee makes thee stronger" ...that in mind I am thinking we are Superman and Superwoman strong!! Another lovely time has arrived for us to celebrate life and tick off all we are thankful for. Angels are on the way this evening.ps

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 20, 2018:

You are so right, Shauna...live wth love.And for sure we do. Have a lovely Thanksgiving time. Angels are on the way this evening.ps

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on November 20, 2018:

PS, I know I commented on this when there were no other comments shown, however my Internet was disrupted yesterday so possibly it didn’t save or you have to approve it. Just let me know if you didn’t receive it and I will gladly write another.

Rachel L Alba from Every Day Cooking and Baking on November 20, 2018:

Hi Pat, What sad news about your daughter. Of course, my prayers will be with her. Anything is possible with God. Your grandson looks good. Is he better than before? I hope God blesses with you and your family this Thanksgiving love and peace and health.

Have a Blessed Thanksgiving.

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 20, 2018:

Mary..

I appreciate your kind words. We just are so thankful for every minute of every day. Sending Angels your way this evening.pd

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 20, 2018:

Jackie thank you for taking the time to write such a heartfelt comment. We are so blessed and We Know It And we are so thankful for each one of you who cares for us. As far as that m word goes we believe in miracles. There have been times over the years when her doctors have even said the only reason you're here is because of a miracle. So we do not discount the possibility that Miracles will continue to come our way. Sending you many blessings and good wishes for a lovely Thanksgiving Time.Angels are on the way this evening.ps

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 20, 2018:

Thank you, Pam. We are so thankful for lovelies like you who help keep us lifted up. I hope I can come back a long time from.now and say...she is still on the planet!! Wishing a wonderful Thanksgiving to you and your family. Angels are on the way this evening.ps

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 20, 2018:

Thanks, Eric. It is a journey. And there was one time when Stef was having her millionth clinical trial ( okay-- not millionth) that she looked horrible. That was one of the times she was told her time was up.

And thankfully their predictions have been wrong many times. Thank you for your kind words and please know that you are thought of often and prayed for daily. Angels are on the way this evening.ps

Patricia Scott (author) from North Central Florida on November 20, 2018:

Hi Liz..

So many lives are touched by this horrid disease. We really strive to find the goodness in each day. Wr are truly thankful for another special moment together. Thank you for stopping. Best wishes to uou and yours. Angels are on the way this evening. ps

Liz Westwood from UK on November 20, 2018:

Thank you for sharing your family's experiences. I trust that your Thanksgiving will go as well as possible this year. Yesterday marked the anniversary of the loss of a good friend to this terrible disease.

Jackie Lynnley from the beautiful south on November 20, 2018:

PS, it is just hard to have words. It just does not seem right and there are many more questions than answers. There are miracles though, I do know that and maybe your daughters hanging on is one of them.

I pray for you all and a miracle so big it touches all of you. In Jesus name who realy loves everyone of you, I pray. Amen.

You have so many friends here that love you, too. I am sure you already know that. Be blessed.

Mary Norton from Ontario, Canada on November 20, 2018:

You are right about not taking for granted being thankful. Cancer can be deceptive. We will keep praying for your daughter and loved ones who have cancer.

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on November 20, 2018:

Patricia, Happy Thanksgiving to you and your entire family.

I understand you not wanting Stef to suffer - no mother wants that for her child. You have the right idea in making every day Thanksgiving and living life with love, love, love. That's what makes life full.

Linda Lum from Washington State, USA on November 20, 2018:

Patricia, your continuing saga saddens me beyond words, but your spirit and faith shine through in all that you share. You could wallow in your own misery, yet you find the time and strength to focus on the good in life. You are a soul filled with love. Thank you for sharing, and please know that you are not alone.

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on November 20, 2018:

A wonderful wish my friend. As a note, when I was going through chemo on my first go 'round with cancer and chemo I looked like hell. Maybe a kind of good thing as I look back. No one ever asked me how I was doing or said I looked good.

With this new round I actually am still looking OK. Those darned predictions from doctors about longevity. They are going to have to change mine again, Thank God.

I see the suffering your family is going through and it breaks my heart. But I see how warm, hopeful and loving you are and I wish that all dealing with this could be inspired by it like I.

Thank you for sharing your update and wishes.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on November 20, 2018:

I have no more words, dear friend. I'm wishing you peace...painless peace for your loved ones...I'm just so damned sorry for all of you. Love from Oly, dear friend.

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on November 20, 2018:

Hi PS, You could not wish for anything more touching than this to read on Thanksgiving. True, we don't celebrate it here in Australia but I enjoy reading about it and what it means to American families like your own. Many of us take things for granted, and reading what your family is going through and that you can still find positives, give thanks, and spread love is an inspiration. All the best to you and your family, especially Stef and Heston Wayne.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on November 20, 2018:

Patricia, I am so sorry that you have received such heartbreaking news about your daughter. I am glad your family is close as you sure need each other. I understand that you don't want your daughter to suffer, as no parent would. I'll be praying for your family. Angels are coeming to you.