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Not Just Another Thanksgiving Wish

Patricia is someone whose life is centered around family. Each day is one more opportunity to show my loved ones how much they mean to me.

Little Man ( Heston Wayne) being silly with his Momma

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November 2018

It cannot be almost the end of November this quickly!! It seems a minute ago I was saying "Happy New Year"---wishing everyone many wonderful experiences in the days ahead. And now it is time already to share wishes for each of you and all of my family and friends a most blessed and lovely Thanksgiving time.

Stef at a Powwow hosting a swabbing for possible bone marrow donors

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Things are not always what they appear to be

How many times have you said to someone who is said to be seriously ill: "O, you look so good. You must be feeling great." Recently a friend of mine said "Oh, Stef looks so good." I can't tell you how many times we've heard that over the years. The words feel like a knife in my chest for they belie the truth. The hard part that's really confusing about the whole thing is my daughter has terminal cancer. Many of you have read of her journey here on Hubpages. Just one of the Insidious things about cancer is that you don't really reflect how you are physically by the way you look on the outside. There are times when you do but for 20 years, pretty much, you haven't been able to tell that my daughter is sick.

I was guilty of saying those words until my family was hit with cancer. Then I learned that how true the old saying that looks can be deceiving is so true.

Loves exploring nature

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A Diagnosis

About 20 years ago my daughter Stephanie was diagnosed with endometrial cancer. A few years later she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She underwent extensive horrid chemo and radiation to try to eradicate both of these cancers. However it only served to slow down the progression a bit but did not eradicate it. And over the year the cancer has metastasized.

Stef and Heston Wayne

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Momma and Baby

The photo above was taken about 10 months ago. Stef's hair had just grown in a bit after 6 weeks of very nasty chemo. Her hair is almost white as it grows in. Sadly it caused no diminishing of tumors now present in many areas of her body. But she keeps on keeping on for her Heston Wayne and her Jay, both who are ill.

Jay and Heston Wayne

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Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.

— Zig Ziglar

Cutest Little Werewolf

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Learning Curve

What have we learned by having all of this illness in our family? We have learned quite a bit as a matter of fact.

  • One of the first things we've learned is that we are not alone. There are more families than I care to count across this amazing land that have the same kind of journey we are having. So I guess one of the things we've learned--- one of the biggest things that we've learned--- is that no family knows when this will happen.
  • The second and probably the most important thing we have learned is that today is so very precious. Wasting time trying to second guess the future is futile and pointless.
  • Embrace and hug tight today and tell your loved ones how loved they really are.
  • Our wish is that this never happens to another family. It is an experience that no one should have to endure. It can tear families apart. In our case thankfully we have been drawn closer together. We are there for each other no matter what time of the day, any day, or night.

I am thankful for every moment.

— Al Green

Refuse to give up and give in

Near the beginning of this article, I shared with you that the doctor had given Stef a new time line as to how long she had left on the planet. The timeline was 6 months to a year. We're at the one year now and praying for many more, months, years even ahead. She was just called by her oncologist earlier this week to be told that she has new tumors in new areas of her body. I don't think she was surprised because she's in a lot of pain now. It's beyond my small ability to comprehend how she could possibly have anywhere else that has not been invaded by this horrible disease. You may wonder how she's able to conduct swapping events for her son when she's in so much pain. I think it's therapy for her. I think it's a big reason why she still on the planet. So many times I've said it and I'll keep on saying it---she refuses to give up and give in.

Continuing our wish

So again our wish is that no family have to travel this road. And we are so very thankful that all of us will be sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner together again this year. We have been told so many times over the years but that might not be possible. So "thankful" doesn't even begin to describe how we feel this year.

Thankful

It is just short of a month till Thanksgiving 2019.

My own personal wish is one that I have never wanted to voice. And that is I don't want her to suffer. As I mentioned above she's in a lot of pain now. Hopefully it will diminish and she'll have another rebound and she'll live on and on like she has done. But my wish as I say is that she not have to endure long grueling periods of pain. It is time to say " thank you" to all of you who have cared for my girl over the years and for my Heston and my Jay.

Sending many Happy Thanksgiving wishes to each one of you this most wondrous time of the year. Another thing we have learned is that everyday is Thanksgiving Day at our house. We've learned not to take for granted so many little things that it is easy to fall into the trap of doing. We talk on the phone and we text and we visit often often often.

Being thankful it's not something we take for granted. Even though it is a bit early Happy Thanksgiving once again to each of you and sending Angels and good wishes to your door.

© 2018 Patricia Scott

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