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No Regrets: Sometimes the Wrong Choices Bring Us to The Right Places

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Writing is my passion. I have an undying thirst and quest in the field of writing. Some eat, drink or use drugs when stressed; I write.

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Regret, shame, and guilt are three emotions every human will experience. We all feel these effects at some points in our lives, especially after making a “poor” decision. It is natural to feel anxiety and maybe waves of panic when our safety, health, or happiness is threatened. There are specific circumstances we would rewind or delete if it was possible. There are an infinite number of reasons not to regret any of the decisions made. But the primary reason to no regret is it allows you to take credit for creating your own life. Decisions result from your choosing. Some will leave you with regret. And regrets can teach you how to live, so there should be no regret because sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.

Consistently making moral decisions is arguably the most vital practice anyone can perform. But when you conceive “poor” decisions as a learning opportunity, it turns every decision into a chance to create and win. If the decision defines you as a “good” or a “bad” person, it can serve as a disappointment that devastates if the outcome is disastrous.

Poor decisions are irreversible. So, why do we make them? I say we render them because they often act as a wake-up call that urges us to make changes. Only, some are so bad that they affect generations to come. While others are inconsequential and need little thought. We make thousands of decisions every day. Several of our decisions leave a lasting consequence on our relationships, careers, health, and different aspects of our lives.

Moral decisions are the hardest to make. But we must make them and take that risk, that giant leap, and discover how rewarding it can be. Most of us can make wise choices. We associate one thing with another. What is a moral decision, and does it lead to the expected outcome? I believe a good decision does not always determine the result. But it increases the chances of the desired end. Learning to distinguish what makes the difference between good decisions and bad decisions is the key to rapid improvement.

I believe everybody should live life to the fullest with no regrets, just lessons. It's hard to let go of regrets, but you must never look back and regret anything. You should catch a glance at the present and take advantage of what you have learned. Some of us hold on to regret instead of seeing everything happens for a good reason, and carrying them around is a waste of time. There is no need to wonder how life would have been if we had made a different choice. You needed to make the wrong decision to learn how to create the best destiny.

Growing into a young adult, my parent assists me to think of what I do and what I am interested in, making it difficult for me in decision-making. As a young adult on a path to find my purpose, I felt lost and unsure of what to do. Not sure how to be a talented contributor, the result was disappointing. Being disappointed with my life’s outcome gave me the determination to make my own decisions. I had a mother who was always attentive to me. She saw the stress, the frustration I encounter when life decisions didn’t turn outright. My mother assists me to understand if I am not pleased with anything in my life. I have the power to change it. I took charge and learn there is life after depression–a strong, healthy, happy life.

After experiencing many disappointments that look like my world is crashing down around me, I took charge and never looked back. In life, you will get only one chance. There are no U-turns, no re-do, and no way of finding out what the future holds. Every young adult needs to know how to be responsible in decision-making. Sometimes the decisions made won’t be the right ones, or maybe they will be, but you must be precise.

As an emerging adult, my life was full of difficulties, twists and turns, love, and loss. I learn life would not be worth experiencing if I did not encounter the good and the bad. Only the way to make the rollercoaster ride worthwhile is to enjoy the good and learn from the bad. My journey has not been a peaceful one. The result of all my past thoughts, feelings, and behaviors taught me how to move ahead to receive growth. I am grateful for life and all the trials that make it worth living.

Reminiscing back on my first love, I thought I was so in love. From the moment I meet him, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I loved the flirty text, the surprising gifts, and everything he told me was so interesting. I can remember feeling like no matter how far apart we were or whatever life threw at us. We will always somehow be together. I endlessly wanted to share more. Oh boy, how surprised I was when we transitioned so seamlessly from acquaintances to strangers, lovers to awkward ‘what are we.’ I was heartbroken, and we didn’t have to talk about being exclusive because I knew it was time for us to part ways.

After my first heartbreak, I thought I would love no one the way I loved him. I had never been so sure of anything in my life until three years later, a skinny, handsome young man approaches me during a tough time in my life. My heart was closed to love. But after allowing him to knock down my walls, I knew if the world fell to pieces and my life crumbled around me. He would help me pick up the pieces. It was then; I suddenly realized I have to take the time to reflect and raise self-awareness about my innermost desires.

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He was a rare one of a kind. Someone who I immediately discover would treat me right, and when things went awkward, he would pick up the slack. We were separate people, but we fit together as one. He was my best friend, lover, and soul mate. I wish you were still here with me. After many years, only now am I moving on. You stole my heart. No one can or will ever replace you. I might find someone to love and romantically care for me, but they will not take your place. You hold a special place in my heart.

When God took you home, it was hard for me to continue. I sit in uncomfortable silence. When I gave up on love, you taught me how to love, and so much about life that showed me how to stay grounded. Our love was genuine, and the peace I so desperately seek you assist me to find it, and for that, I will be forever grateful to you. The years and memories we made are something I will look back on and cherish forever. I consciously think about you as if you were a part of me. For a long time, you were such a big part of my life until everything incorporated you. I couldn’t go a single day without thinking about you.

I loved, cried, and even desired change in my life, but I lived life my way. I let go of a guy that meant a lot to me because I was afraid to admit my love and take a real risk. After experiencing the after-effect of making the wrong choice, I have sufficient reason to avoid presenting decisions. But the question I ask myself, is the choice wrong if it still brings me to the right place? If it brings about the right opportunities and teaches specific lessons. The only way to live a moral life is to live the wrong one. A person needs to see the bottom before they can make their way back on top. In short, no regret because sometimes the incorrect choices bring us to the right places.

© 2021 Pam Morris

Comments

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on May 09, 2021:

Thanks for sharing your story and outlook on life. Most people experience highs and lows in life. It is how we deal with them that can make us stronger and resilient. As to the poll, I think that some thought should happen before making big life decisions.

Misbah from The World of Poets on May 09, 2021:

A beautiful article, Pam. Thanks for sharing. It is said that some people comes in our life as blessings and others as lessons. Sometimes hard decisions are the right ones. Sometimes letting someone go is the right Choice. We are humans, we learn by trial and errors. I believe, Everyone experiences low points in their life but strong are the ones who learn from their experience.

Blessings

Pam Morris (author) from Atlanta Georgia on May 09, 2021:

Marlene, thank you for taking the time to read my hub and share that you think everyone should read this article. It has a lot of helpful advice. I love sharing my hubs in the hope they will give helpful advice to whoever reads them.

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on April 16, 2021:

What a wonderful article, Pam. Excellent advice. To lead a full life we need to experience the good and bad. We will make sure make some wrong decisions, or what seem to be at the time, but they may result in a positive outcome further down the line. We just need to learn from our mistakes and next time do things differently. Thank you for sharing your story.

Sp Greaney from Ireland on April 16, 2021:

I think you are so right. We just have to learn to accept the outcome and learn from it. Also I'm sorry to read that you lost a person you loved.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on April 16, 2021:

We do learn from both the good & bad situations in our lives.

I don't think we should make hasty decisions. We need to think things over before jumping off that cliff.

I'm glad you found your soulmate, but sorry you lost him too soon.

There is something waiting around the corner. Hopefully it will make you smile.

Marlene Bertrand from USA on April 16, 2021:

Everyone should read this article. It is filled with a lot of helpful advice. I like the quote by Shannon L. Alder, because I have found that when I say what is bothering me out loud, it helps me decipher it to the core, and understanding exactly what the matter is, helps find workable solutions.

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