A Daughter's Tribute
Once you become a mother, you are a mother forever. Looking back through the years of how am I going to raise the girls, the major decisions were not based on the self-help and how-to books I read, but how i mimic my mother when she was raising me.
I recalled most of my childhood from the pictures I keep in my family album. My mother will re-tell the story of each picture, and it always depict the good times. There is nothing sad that emanate from these photos. She will mention the names of the people in it like my uncles, aunts, cousins and family friends. Even though I don't recall most of them them, she will softly tell me, "You will, when you meet them again". It gives me a sense of belonging. Her stories made me feel loved by many.
My mother smiles often. She laughs at the slightest funny thing at home. Her heart is light and her pleasant character won her many friends.
I see her cry when she is hurt. The pain shows in her eyes when she feels wronged. But she can forgive easily and let things go without remorse.
I can definitely share with her the stories of my day, while listening patiently, without judgement the "funny" and "weird" things I tell her. She encourages me to move forward when I am down and celebrates my achievement, regardless of its size. She is my best friend.
I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best I could bring to it." -- Rose Kennedy
My mom is well-educated and her parents are well-off. She married my dad after an ideal courtship but he couldn't handle well their financial success. He became an alcoholic after I was born. For many years I knew their marriage was tumultuous. I heard them argue a lot but she did not attempt to affirm with me her marital struggles. She dealt with my father privately.
Her life was not perfect but she chose to do many things in her lifetime putting me first on it.
Since 2006, we have been living very far apart from each other. Half-way across the globe, I am re-establishing my career and taking care of my own family. My girls are growing up fast.
My mom became very sick. The best doctors that I can afford were taking care of her. I constantly kept in touch with my mother and my father. Her health seems to fail each passing month. Then I receive the dreaded phone call. My mom has passed away...
I cried and grieved. The pain and heartache of losing her is numbing. Even though I am aware that she is ill, the hope of her recovery burns bright in front of me. Any age will not prepare me for the time of her demise. And if I can decide to my heart's desire, I do not want her to go, ever.
I missed my opportunity of being close to my mom on her last days. I didn't have the chance to kiss her goodbye, or stroke her hair, or hold her hand for the last time...
We plan to see many new places together that will no longer be. It dawns upon me that the wit and laughter she does all the years, is her wisdom disguised in comedy.
I miss her very dearly. My mom is a strong woman with poise and grace. The cardinal rule with her is Respect. She taught me the virtue of patience and showed me the value of hard-work.
She lived a life by example; forgive and let go. What's in your heart reflects on your face. Her character of forgiving and letting go is one of her precious gifts to myself.
Her picture now sits in a conspicuous place at home. I get to see her always this way. In confusing situations, I look at her photo and start to think deeper of what she might have to say. The memory of her wise words gives me strength, direction and my needed comfort.
Every time I think of my mom, I am starting to feel that maybe I am becoming more like a true piece of herself... I hope I am making her proud today and she is right there, smiling at me from heaven.
Copyright © 2012 The Girls. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without permission prohibited.
Theresa Ventu (author) from Los Angeles, California on April 21, 2013:
Thank you for reading me Stessily! I agree, wisdom is a timeless & precious gift to another person. It is how we keep living after passing on... I appreciate your sharing too.
stessily on April 20, 2013:
the girls, Your tribute to your mother is touching and paints a beautiful portrait of her. I especially love this description you give of her: "What's in your heart reflects on your face. Her character of forgiving and letting go is one of her precious gifts to myself." One of my friends, who was much older than I, gave me wise advice which I recall as I remember loved ones who have passed away: "The best way to honor them is through our lives."
Kind regards, Stessily
Theresa Ventu (author) from Los Angeles, California on October 18, 2012:
Thank you Movie Master for dropping by. I appreciate your kind comment. Blessings :-)
Movie Master from United Kingdom on October 18, 2012:
A very beautiful tribute to your mother, thank you for sharing your story, voted up and beautiful.
Best wishes Lesley
Theresa Ventu (author) from Los Angeles, California on August 20, 2012:
Thank you Cogerson for your kind compliment. I'm sorry to hear about your loss. We become who we are because of their enduring sacrifices and unfailing love. Blessings to you always :-)
UltimateMovieRankings from Virginia on August 20, 2012:
A very lovely tribute to your mother.....I feel the same way about my father who passed away 14 months ago...thanks for sharing this story...voted up and across the board.
Theresa Ventu (author) from Los Angeles, California on April 24, 2012:
Thank you poshcoffeeco. I truly appreciate your comment :-)
Steve Mitchell from Cambridgeshire on April 24, 2012:
It is nice that you will raise your children in the same way as your mom did with you. Many parents want to give their children a better upbringing than they had as children. A fitting tribute to a gracious lady. You capture and explain about her very vividly - well done.
Theresa Ventu (author) from Los Angeles, California on April 15, 2012:
I agree. I hold on to my mother's wisdom. Blessings :-)
bingskee from Quezon City, Philippines on April 15, 2012:
you are blessed to experience a life with a wonderful mother. not everyone have that opportunity.
death is always painful but it is more painful with someone who had taught us a lot and had shown us love and caring.
Theresa Ventu (author) from Los Angeles, California on March 19, 2012:
Thank you MT for your touching comment. Our moms truly have the greatest influence in us. She is very proud of you too. Angels in heaven watching us from above :-)
Linda Rogers from Minnesota on March 19, 2012:
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. I lost my mom at age nine but I still have clear memories of her. I think it's wonderful that you have that picture out so she can greet you in each new day. She is still there for you, just in a different way. Blessings :-)
Theresa Ventu (author) from Los Angeles, California on March 16, 2012:
Let me say this first, your mother is very proud of you! She's lucky to have you as her son.
As the saying goes, humble people are placed in front and the proud ones are transported to the back.
I remember the story of the bamboo tree too.
Thank you for voting up and hope my tribute will spread the news to many that our mothers are the best but silent heroes :-)
Ireno Alcala from Bicol, Philippines on March 16, 2012:
I still have my mom here in the Philippines.
You will understand that men are not showy with their emotions, including me.
But who knows, maybe when she departs in this world, I will cry the loudest.
Although, we have a disagreement at certain things, I always respect her words of advice, like humility (follow the example of the rice, with its golden grains, ready to be harvested and the bamboo, etc.) and respect (to everyone, especially to elders as in never shout back to your parents).
She's a brave woman, for she reared us to be a strong individual, with the help of my departed father.
Wait, I also wrote a tribute for her during Mother's Day (where is that hub of mine?)
Your hub is very inspiring. Talagang tagos sa puso, kabayan. Voted up and rated awesome!!!
Theresa Ventu (author) from Los Angeles, California on March 15, 2012:
Thank you Peggy W! i think the degree of the relationship with our mothers is the same. We show our reverence to everybody. To our loved ones who preceded us, I believe in what you said, we will see them again.
Theresa Ventu (author) from Los Angeles, California on March 15, 2012:
Thank you Steph! Writing my tribute helped me a lot too, crossing-over from my feelings of loss to acceptance :-)
Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on March 14, 2012:
I am very sorry for your loss. I will always miss my dear mother who died 2 years ago, and like you, I have pictures of her in various rooms of our house and often look at her and think of the many things that she taught me. I look forward to seeing her and my many other relatives and friends who have preceded me in moving on to the next realm of life. This was very touching! Voted beautiful.
Stephanie Marshall from Bend, Oregon on March 14, 2012:
Very beautiful, touching hub! I am fortunate to have my mother still, and I love the tribute you have written for your special mom. Best, Steph
Theresa Ventu (author) from Los Angeles, California on March 12, 2012:
Best feeling I have today by inspiring my best friend :-)
mialynboco from Granada Hills, CA on March 12, 2012:
This is a nice tibute! A MUST read for all the moms in the world!
Theresa Ventu (author) from Los Angeles, California on March 01, 2012:
Virg, thanks for being interested! I appreciate it. You can read my hub pages in the future for advance reference :-)
Virg on March 01, 2012:
Can't wait to hear your life story for our Ladies Breakfast.Take care and God bless!
Theresa Ventu (author) from Los Angeles, California on February 25, 2012:
Thank you Rose A!
Rose A on February 24, 2012:
It's a moving and inspiring story. I enjoyed reading your tribute. :)
Theresa Ventu (author) from Los Angeles, California on February 24, 2012:
Thank you Kat!
Kat. C on February 24, 2012:
A very touching and educational story. God bless you!