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My Thinking About Stationary Bikes

Daisy, Daisy give me your answer do.

I'm half crazy all for the love of you.

It won't be a stylish marriage,

I can't afford a carriage.

But you'll look sweet,

Upon the seat,

Of a bicycle made for two.

Michael, Micheal, here is your answer true.

I'm not crazy all for the love of you.

There won't be any marriage,

If you can't afford a carriage.

'Cause I'll be switched,

If I get hitched,

On a bicycle built for two!"

— Songwriters: Nat King Cole / Steve Gillette

I am sorry. I do not see what the attraction is about stationary bikes.

I am sorry. I do not see what the attraction is about stationary bikes.

Okay, Ladies and Gentlemen

I have stood it long enough. Too long I might add. And what I am talking about is not a new topic. In fact, I wrote about stationary bikes over three years ago and guess what? Nothing has changed--men and women with big dialects are forking over $100 a month just to sit and pedal a bicycle with ONE wheel, but going nowhere.

Permit me to tell you how this rage happened. In Manhattan, an enterprising young man dropped out of Brown University (couldn't afford the semesters), we shall call him a health-minded enthusiast--because he overheard a money-making tip told in confidence to another money-raker on how to cash into the health fad.

Now this drop-out nailed a diploma on his wall in plain sight and became a health enthusiast which really means he grins from ear-to-ear and telling his customers what they want to hear. Simple as that. But he is affording to eat, so I cannot knock him too much.

Visit Your Nearby Gym

and take a good long look and soon you will see the men and women who want to keep their figures taut (so their friends will be jealous) just so they can take a stationary bike and rename it to: Spinning Class. Have you ever heard the like? Spinning Class. Makes me think of five or six widow women who are great at sewing or knitting and they meet three times a week and charge nothing.

Not our health-minded enthusiast. No, sir. He has now paid the rent on his second gym which is nothing more than a place for others to Sit and Spin, which was a hot ticket item sold to kids from Mattel Toy Co., It might as well been a bicycle with one wheel because that is all a stationary bike really is.

But since we all know about stationary bicycles, please humor me as I delve into some really practical questions . . .

  • Why the one wheel? Or any of the two wheels you have now? I mean, the back wheel runs by your energy as you pedal the bike, but the Lone Wheel on the Front just sits there! How lonely and useless this wheel can be.
  • Does the color of a Stationary Bike mean anything? Or is the Red stationary bike the most-used by customers? Hey, what about the blue stationary bike? Or just a bike with NO paint--I mean if all you want to do is Sit and Spin, well saddle-up, pardners, your mount is waiting for you at the nearest gym (two to choose from) owned by a Brown University drop-out with a colorful diploma hung on his back wall, and you will be set.
  • Can anyone Over-Spin a Stationary Bike? I bet you that this question has never been asked, and I know why. The gym owners, (including drop-out from Brown University), did not want me to uncover such a rolling conspiracy. Just thought that I would ask.

Before I Leave You

and further-investigate the Stationary Bike Fad, and while I'm here, let me suggest to the drop-out from Brown University with a eye-making diploma hung on his back wall, why not sell those colorful spandex and you can get by with selling at cost. What about a Bitty Fitt or something around the writst--then your customers can sit and sweat and look at the special health-minded watch that goes for $122.00 each.

And . . .listen, drop-out of Brown University who is forking-in cash from that Wall St. guy who was yakking to his buddy in some coffee shop . . .why not cruise the streets of some big city such as New York, Philadelphia or maybe Dallas, Tx.?

Sooner or later, and I'm betting sooner, that a lot of you Spinning Rebels with two-wheel bikes will strike-out on the road and ride in packs, but do not mess with any member of Hell's Angels . . .that is unless they drive you from the road and wreck your bike.

health-minded enthusiast from Brown University could just pick-up a few of the wrecked bikes and take the second wheel off and he would have money enough for a third gym.

Isn't it great to live and thrive in America?

February 10, 2019_______________________________________

Note: I am an Equal Opportunity Hubber and I did not use the above photo in any way to put down the image of women. The photo looked so good that I decided to use it.

Note: I am an Equal Opportunity Hubber and I did not use the above photo in any way to put down the image of women. The photo looked so good that I decided to use it.

A Serious Note from me to You:

Hey! We've had a lot of great times here at HubPages and I want this relationship to continue, but in the above hub. I mentioned Brown University, Sit and Spin, and probably other mentions . . .which I did not mean, in any way, to promote anything to you, the reader.

If you love using a Stationary Bike, great! I just did not want you to take the text above and really read how and what I like to talk about.

Sincerely, Kenneth

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