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Living a Reality of Solutions -- Not Problems

Val is a self-made out-of-box thinker and individualist de-hypnotized from social brainwashing advances.

living-a-reality-of-solutions-not-problems

We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them.

-- Albert Einstein

Analyzing Life Is Like Taking Radio Apart to See Why Program Is Annoying

To say it somewhat poetically, many a flower, big or small, sprouted out of a junkyard soil. And many a philosopher, artist, poet and composer -- well, a seeker -- got born out of a painfully uncomfortable, unfriendly, unsupportive ambient.

Only to say it some day later in a retrospect, together with that poet:

"Blessed be that dark force for giving us wings..."

I could relate to it quite well. But this story is not about either the nature of that dark force, nor about that unfriendly ambient giving the ignition spark of life to that little flower at the junkyard.

Rather, it's about personal quantum leap possible only in absence of analyzing, and instead living the reality of solution, not with a sense of "fixing" anything identified as problem.

I may never know if I already had that predisposition in me, or it actually started with reading my first book in psychology at my age of ten.

"Mental Hygiene" was its title, and it had been recommended to me by an older friend, then a university student. I used to confide in him about "things going on in life" on our long walks to the river where we went to swim.

As I was reading that book, with those parts which could relate to my life, I suddenly felt wave after wave of enormous relief, recognizing actors in that family drama as merely some suffering slaves to their own nature.

They just couldn't do any better because it was in their nature to constantly perpetuate "fixing" something, instead of living a reality of solutions.

In that revelation I was not a "target", nobody was doing anything to me on purpose; and I was just like a piece of props on their stage, and an inconvenience that they had to bump into now and then.

Right there and then I understood that they simply couldn't be any other way, just like the rest of the people of this world.

So I was O.K.; there was nothing to "fix", as fixing would have required changing those people -- which no one could. That kind of reasoning merely got more mass in the decades to come.

There was no "problem" -- I had to focus on what I wanted, not on what I didn't want in my life -- period. Analyzing "what was going wrong" intuitively sounded like a terrible waste of time and energy. It would have been like that torturous efforts of Sisyphus in Greek mythology to push the huge stone up the hill, then, as it rolled back, try it, and try it again.

And such reasoning just picked up more mass in decades to come, having catapulted me into a realm of living proactively, not reactively. There was literally a life to be "done", not analyzed.

Through the decades to come, I read over thousand non-fiction books about life and human nature -- and treated each of them as a potential "manual", rather than a "source of knowledge."

And even as I am writing these articles these days in my almost finished seventh decade, I don't think of myself as of a "smart" person, but rather as a pretty accomplished pragmatic dude in matters of using some effective mental tools.

living-a-reality-of-solutions-not-problems

All my problems bow before my stubbornness.

-- Amit Kalantri

"Nothing Has a Suchness Until We Give It One"

The above quote is actually the title of an essay that I wrote for myself at the age of sixteen. And I am still living by that principle six decades later. I am still not "fixing" things, but casually noticing what needs be changed, and then using all my energy towards what's more life-promoting -- not "running away" from what would be an obstacle to it.

All the time knowing that the situation is only as such as I am giving it its suchness, and I am solely responsible for doing it right. Only years later I learned about the word "stoicism", after I already had been a self-made stoic for quite a long time.

My stoicism meant, among other things, that I was not going to take counsel from my emotions, which were my own constructs and as such a subject to change, not an imperative to be heeded.

That stoicism would have me visit our huge cemetery at midnight to kill the fear of dark, the traces of which I detected in myself as a leftover from childhood. So yes, I was sweating bullets while sitting in front of someone's grave, far into the cemetery. And I let the fear be, and not for a moment did I allow myself to take a look over my shoulder.

I left that place with a mini quantum leap in my emotional repertoire. That fear had not only been the one of dark, but, like in everybody's emotional makeup it is multilayered, and as you liberate yourself from one major facet of it, others tend to disappear as well.

Then, on a hot summer night, I would sneak quietly out not to wake my mom, took a streetcar to the foothills of the one mile high mountain at the edge of the city -- and climbed it to the top.

Basically I would come back in time before my mother would wake up for work. Her shift started at 6.

All along my mind was telling me that I was insane for doing it, "because all normal people use night for sleeping". But at that age already I was not much of a friend of the "official normalcy". I preferred creating my own version of it, one that would be more life-promoting.

I was "giving my own suchness to that idea of climbing the mountain at night", and to me that was something to do that night -- just to prove to myself that I could do things because I wanted so, regardless of how "appropriate" it might have been.

living-a-reality-of-solutions-not-problems

It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem.

-- Malcolm Forbes

"Appropriate-or-Not" -- a Huge Question in My Personal Evolvement

Early in life I learned this important distinction when it came to the word "appropriate".

One thing clearly established -- that I would have to behave in appropriate ways in order to avoid unnecessary frictions in life and so save me a lot of nervous energy.

But then, in my personal space I didn't have to support that behavior at all. Like, I didn't have to feel a certain way about things that others were feeling; didn't have to copy their thoughts, and their beliefs. Not at all.

What was going on within my personal space was to be my own responsibility, and my own "life-business". I didn't owe it to anybody to be like them, to reason like them, to be them. A thought of a "role model" made me laugh then, and it still makes me laugh.

The inner freedom that I am enjoying ever since could be characterized as "outlandish", if one could get a glimpse into it.

Of course that I am empathetic -- actually so empathetic that at times it borders with telepathic, as I know in advance what the person was going to say. But that empathy comes in my own inner context of experiencing.

So, just like I am going proactive in my own life, not moping and feeling sorry for myself -- I may not waste my time crying with you in a duet in the name of empathy -- I'll look for the solution. And if the solution for you is that you change your way of looking at the thing which caused your crying -- I'll try to inspire you in that direction.

As I am writing my hubs about the crappy aspects of human nature -- I am not criticizing, not mocking -- but sometimes creating little intellectual shocks to startle the people out of their hypnotically strong inner crappiness.

And then I may succeed with those smarter ones, or I may look like an insolent creep to those less smart ones, who passionately hate me for having the nerve to disturb their comfort zone. Well, I do my thing, I "give the suchness" to my kind of contribution to this Hub Pages.

By doing that, am I on some insane mission to "change somebody"? -- you may be asking.

Are you kidding?

No one changes anybody!

People change themselves if they choose to, and then anything may trigger it. Sometimes a casual talk with bartender does it better than years of therapy. Sometimes a movie may do it, without the film maker having had that in mind. We may never know what may cause that sudden inner shift in those whose spiritual predisposition is seeking a change.

So, are my satires with such undertone of eye-opening -- "appropriate"? I don't know. Never thought about it.

Some people may use my articles to analyze, and analyze, and still just turn in circles of reluctance to go proactive. Others may use them as yet another proof how "inappropriate" and insensitive they are. And yet others will just go through them in a way that they would read about someone's trip to Italy -- just as another story.

Analyzing is still the word of this post to which I am giving a certain significance.

It denotes one whole attitude of people just being aware of what needs fixing, rather than "doing" that change "as if no fixing was necessary".

Then it evolves into a whole mind style in which the focus remains on what we want, not what is to be fixed.

Maybe the best illustration of its beneficial effect would be if we remembered that crucial rule in both composing positive affirmations, and also hypnotic suggestions.

So you don't keep repeating to yourself something like "I want to lose excess weight", -- which is downright useless, because you would still be giving attention to the negative condition. The positive one would be: "I can see myself nicely slim like I was (and then you mention the age when you used to be slim.)

Or, you don't say: "I will not be bothered by Val's satires". Instead you say: "I will try to see something inspirational in Val's satires, trusting him that he only means well."

Ha-ha, just joking, that one wouldn't work if you had made up your mind that Val is full of crap and he is on his mission to mock, to belittle and to spread his toxic smart-ass stuff.

O.K., little humor is a right way to finish this article. If I said anything that some people would want to remember -- in a nutshell it would be this:

Do it as if already fixed -- don't analyze the need for fixing.

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2022 Val Karas