20 Funny Ponderings, Musings and Life’s Little Lessons
There are a lot of things in life which make there way through your head. Thing which make you stop and think to yourself, "What are they talking about?" or "Do they even know what their saying or doing." I call these things ponderings, musing or life lesson.
Sometimes these ponderings are the more serious ones like I wrote about in another Hub. There are other times when the ponderings strike me as funny. Here in this Hub I have put together 20 of my funnier ponderings.
1. At a movie theater which arm rest is yours. I've often heard the one on the left is your and the one on the right belongs to the other person. Or is it the other way around? Which ever way it goes I know I've spent a lot of time in movie theaters trying to contest my right use an a particular armrest.
2. If the Bible is just a bunch of stories why is it in the non-fiction section of the library? I mean really if the Bible is considered fiction by many people why is it prominently displayed in the first few sections of the library.
3. If every dog has its day what exactly is that day and why don’t humans get one. I mean don’t we humans deserve a special day to help ease away all the stress of daily life.
4. Why do they put up deer crossing signs when it is obvious deer can’t read so they won’t know to cross there? I know you've all heard this before but it still remains to be said that deer always cross where there is no sign.
5. Why do people say, expect the unexpected? If you know what is coming then it is not unexpected. Of course when you think about it. If you‘re expecting the unexpected how will you know when the unexpected comes if you don‘t know what the unexpected is? The unexpected is after all a surprise.
6. A dog's bark is worse than it’s bite, I’ve almost been bitten twice and both times I was more worried about the bite. When you're staring down the mouth of a vicious dog with it's hot breath in your face the last thing you are thinking is, “Hey, don't worry his bark is worst than his bite."
7. If a dog is man's best friend why do wives or girlfriends get agitated when you tell them. They may also reply with I’ll give your dog but remember diamonds are a girls best friend. Maybe it is cheaper if you get your wife or significant other to love your dog more than diamonds.
8. The grass is greener on the other side of the road. What happens if you live across from a parking lot. I mean truthfully how many times have you crossed the road looking for something better and all you do is find pavement.
9. If you’re doing your best and somebody says, “Do better.” My one boss used to say this to me every once in a while. How can you do better than your best? I mean is there a better best no one has ever told me about?
10. Your eyes are bigger than your stomach. I used to wonder what my ponder what my mom meant when she said that at meal time. Had she simply told me I think you're eating way to much I would have understood.
11. Why is it when you're in a hurry traffic lights turn red and people drive like little old ladies on Sunday? (First my apology to little old ladies for using them to explain slow drivers.) When you're not in a hurry everything is blissful. The traffic lights all turn green and people get out of your way but be late getting our the door of your home and it's a different story. it seems like the universe is out to make you late.
12. Why is it the more you try not to spill something on your clothes the better the chance you will spill something on yourself? It happens. The next time you're eating out or a fancy dinner party and wearing something nice or expensive see how long it take you to spill something on your clothing.
13. Is doing nothing really just a passive way of doing something? I mean when were doing nothing were still technically in the process of doing something.
14. Why do we turn the radio down when we’re driving and get lost? Does less sound really help us to look better? "Hey I can find the address or I need to back up. Let me turn down the music. Wow, now I can see better."
15. When opportunity knocks why am I always out? It seems like every time opportunity comes anywhere near me I am either not home or have just missed my chance.
Life will get better when you grow up. They were wrong.
16. When God closes a door he opens a window. Why a window? Not another door? After all it is harder to get through a window and a door
17. Why does everything become so increasingly funny when you’re tired? When you're tired you seem to laugh at everything even things that are not really funny like when someone trips over something.
18. Why is it the parking space you’re aiming for is taken by someone else seconds before you get there? This happens a lot. you see the perfect parking spot and make your way towards the spot but right before you're ready to pull in someone else beats you to the spot. So you just say a few a words nder your breath as the other person waves at you and smiles.
19. No matter which line you get in at the store it will invariably be the slowest one. This is one of those unwritten rules. No matter which line is moving the fastest once you get in the line it will cease to move.
20. Why are the same clothes you were excited about at the store never look as good on you at home? There must be something up with dressing room mirrors because when try on the clothes at the store the store mirror makes them look good. However when you get them home and try on the clothes they do not look as good in your mirror.
There you have some more glimpses into my thought process. I have a lot more ponderings so maybe I'll jot them down and put them in another article. Until then stay safe and keep laughing.
© 2020 Timothy Whitt