Life Lessons From Mom
A Bit About Her
I miss her!
It has been seven months since she died. But, there were times I could not believe that she was gone. Then, I only told myself that death was real. That, a time would come in our lives that we would pass away in this world. And every time I remembered her, I kept realizing this. It was like a new realization every time. Then, I would say a short prayer for her.
My mother was a strong woman with a great love for her family. She has overcome her physical disability. It never stopped her to show her care and love for us. At some point in her life, she had a mild stroke and had difficulty moving. However, she overbore it with the help of my loving father and her willpower. She could move her body again but, not the same as before. She wanted it that way so she could be a mother to us once again. She liked to cook and prepare a meal for her family, to take care of her grandchildren, and to keep the house in order. She managed all of it despite her condition.
But, another misfortune came to us especially her. Her lower right leg had to be AMPUTATED. At first, she was scared. And, so we were. But, she then agreed to do it. I knew how hard it was for her. So, we never left her alone in that battle. So, it was our turn to let her feel how to be taken care.
Despite her incompleteness, her motherly love and care were still complete. She found a way on how to show it to us. She did not stop to take care of her grandchildren. Though she could not prepare food, she kept checking on us if we have eaten already or she would suggest what menu to PREPARE. She would ask if everybody was already at home before she slept. She would help in the chores like folding the clothes. She also loved to dress her grandchildren up for school. She never stopped to be a mother. And, I was grateful to have a mother like her. She was an inspiration. She was a strength. She was LOVE.
Though she already left in this world, her presence in my heart will continue to exist as long as I live because she has influenced my being. Through the experiences I had with her, I became who I am today. Through the experiences I had with her, I surpassed some challenges. And, through the experiences I had with her, I have some lessons to keep.
1. DO IT NOW. Every time my mother would tell me to do something, I had to do it immediately; otherwise, I should prepare for a long lecture. I remembered I would mumble words of disagreement. But, I had to do it anyway. As young as I was, I would think it was unfair. She deprived me of my fun-time and playtime. So, sometimes I postponed doing it. But, she would never stop asking the progress. Then, it left me no choice but to do it instead of playing.
Well, it was when I was a child. Now that I have grown up, I realized what my mother was trying to teach me. It was to DO IT NOW. Another way of saying it, DO NOT PROCRASTINATE.
If you wanted to see results, then you have to act out not too soon or not too late but NOW. Yes, there is what we call right time. But, do not wait for it. Do something NOW. Remember, the time before RIGHT TIME is the duration we spent on molding our character and self. Only then, we will be ready to experience the big break we aimed at the right time. Indeed, it was not our decision to wait but our actions which set the right time.
So, DO IT NOW. DISCOVER NOW. LEARN NOW. ACCOMPLISH NOW. AND, LOVE NOW.
2. FAMILY IS FAMILY. Like every other family, ours was not perfect. We had our highs and lows. But, we remained a family. We are together. And, it was what my mother ever kept: our togetherness in any seasons of life.
For her, our family was her strength, her inspiration, her treasure and her purpose of living. So, like her, I value the family she has taken care and will continue her legacy.
To you, it is never too late to value yours. Make it greener and bear fruits of love. If you a son or daughter, respect and obey your parents. If you are a parent, spend time with your children. Communicate and hang out with them. It is the best expression of your love. TIME.
It is FAMILY which could bring joy. FAMILY is your wealth. Hang on and hold on. Never give up on your FAMILY.
A Mother's Love is Beyond All Tellings.
3. LOVE PREVAILS. If the world is against you, your mom will be on your side. If the world abandons you, your mom will be there for you. If the world judges you, your mom will love you.
No matter how much pain you caused her, she always would be a mother to you. She would forgive you before you apologize. She would never keep hatred. She has unfathomable forgiveness. She has a limitless understanding. Though, she got angry sometimes; but, she only wanted you to listen. She wanted you to be away from danger. It was her way of warning you. All these were because of her LOVE for you.
No imperfection could be more than the love of a mother. I knew this because of what my mother showed to us. Likewise, it would be what I liked to share with my nephews and nieces.
So, be like a mother who always sees the goodness in her child, a mother who always forgives, and a mother who loves beyond all tellings.
4. BE MINDFUL OF OTHERS. It puzzled me every time my mother would buy something from almost all the by-passer vendors to our residence. So, I asked her why. Then, she replied that when she was young, she remembered her uphill battles. It was not easy to wander from one place to another selling something. In other words, she knew how hard it was. She wanted to make it easy for the seller by buying the product. She liked to help. And, she thought of what she could do to make a difference to people around her.
It was only one of the many stories to tell. I had a lot more. But, it was enough. I would just keep the rest in me. And, it would then be part of my system and action.
In this world, I do not live alone. Whatever would be my actions, there would be a corresponding reaction from the people around. So, it would be good enough to say: I MUST BE MINDFUL. And, so must you.
5. THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY. My mother was the queen of the better ways. Again, it was one of the many things which amazed me. She proved to us all that mother knows best.
She always had a solution to every difficulty. She could find a way even it was hard to find. She could pursue whatever she wanted to achieve. She realized what she desired.
And, I am inspired.
It makes me think that we should not stop from reaching our ambitions in life. No matter how many blockages are there on our way. We could always get another route in getting there. We should not quiver. We could make a short break. But, we should move on until we could find a better way because it always exists.
6. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR PAIN. When my mother suffered a mild stroke and had her leg AMPUTATED, I knew she had pain somewhere in her body. I knew she had pain deep inside her. But, she tried to veil it. She chose to be strong not for herself but for her family, for us.
Sometimes, my mother would complain about body pain and would ask me to massage her. And I would do. But, if she noticed that I was busy, she would not bother me. She would just sleep. I wondered how she could sleep with such pain. I was wondering how she managed to suppress it and lived as if everything was okay.
Only then, I knew how strong my mother. Despite her condition, she faced life with vigor. She never let her situation drag her down. Instead, she rose above it. She showed to us that she was still capable of being a mother to us. Indeed, she was still a caring, loving, and responsible wife, mother, and grandmother. The pain did not show. Only her strength and love shone.
To my mother, I thank you for showing such love and strength. Thank you for choosing to be strong. Thank you for always being a mother. If you have conquered your pains, then we can also choose to outwit it.
To be strong is not an ability. It is a choice made out of love and hope.
7. YOU CAN INFECT OTHERS WITH HAPPINESS. Whenever my mother was with her friends, it was impossible not to hear laughter from them. My mother liked to tell a joke which created a friendly ambiance and caused boisterous laughter. And, it was one of the reasons why a lot of people loved her. They could not feel the pressure of the work. Boredom never existed so as sleepiness. And only positivity was felt around.
Her presence had a positive effect on someone. Her smiles. Her happy eyes. Her good vibes. It was contagious. And I am missing it.
Anyway, it is a challenge for all of us to spread good vibes and happiness. Though we have personal issues, we could set it aside. We could choose what to focus: positivity or negativity. Always remember that what you focus will be magnified. So choosing positivity would mean being aware of the good around and seeing more of it. But, if negativity, then you get ready to see more of it as you focus on it. Do not let it affect you because it will impact not only you but also others around you.
It is such a blessing to have a mother by your side. So, to the children out there, never miss the chance to hug her, kiss her, and laugh with her. We never knew when it lasts. Create happy moments and memorable experiences with her. Because by the time she will leave in this world, it will be the most valuable treasure you could keep.
To the mothers, a lot of children need your care, guidance, affection, attention and time. Do not deprive them of it. They need it to become a holistic person. Please be a friend, a teacher, a counselor, and most of all, a MOTHER.
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© 2018 Jason M Quinapondan