There are plenty of reasons to beat yourself down when you scrutinize your own work, but it is absolutely unnecessary. Lighten up.
How's it going dude? I know you hate reading anything verbose that you didn't write yourself, so before you go and throw this letter in the garbage I wanted to let you know that this is the future you! So sit down, get comfortable, and get ready for the advice no one ever gave you.
I know, I know, it is silly to even write a letter to yourself, but I love you more than anyone else in the world, my guy. I'm you, so how could I not? That's why I'm writing you this letter, so you know that even when no one else is around you'll always have me right there in your head keeping you pushing through your strife.
You Have Celiac Disease
I know that no one in your immediate life is taking very good care of you and your diet, though they'd defend themselves vehemently, but you have Celiac disease. You know how you're always feeling sick and slow, as if everyone else has more energy than you? Well, they're going to try to claim that issue is from neurological problems rather than the bullsh*t diet of fast food and quesadillas you've been fed.
Celiac disease is when your immune system attacks your small intestine upon ingesting gluten, and that means you need to cut out all foods that are not gluten-free. There is no wiggle room for cheat days either, but trust me when I say that this diet is pretty easy to stick to. The hardest part of it will be making your own fresh food, because I know your idiot step father makes everything from a can, it tastes and smells like poop, and he thinks he can get away with calling it fresh and healthy when it unarguably is not—just look at them, they're all dying from their diets.
Take note that I said they're going to try to blame your sickness on neurological problems, and that leads me to my next big piece of advice: Do not let them medicate you for problems you do not have!
Avoid the Pills and Doctors
There will come a time in your life where fragile adults who should not be working with children find your desire to talk to others to be abnormal, and generally deserving of punishment. I want you to know that they are wrong, first and foremost, but also that children should not be cured of the desire to escape hours of sitting in a classroom. You will be punished disproportionately from other people, they will convince your mother that you have a mental disorder called ADHD, and then they will coerce your family into convincing a doctor that you need pills.
When you get dragged into your doctor, you know the one who birthed you and you've been seeing your whole life, and he says not to let adults convince you that there is anything wrong when your mom leaves the room... please, listen to him wholeheartedly. He warns you of the dangers of taking Adderall and antidepressants at such a young age, and Celiac disease isn't really a popular diagnosis yet so we can't blame him for not seeing the signs. Your mom is the one who is going to push for more and more pills at higher and higher doses, but you need to fight her for your own sake!
You have never stood up to your mother, at least not until long after it is too late, but you need to because the abuse is only going to become more hidden, refined, and damaging as time goes on!
Fight Your Mother Every Time
It cannot be stressed enough that your mother, despite her every attempt to push blame on others and sweep the abuse under the rug, is the main antagonist in your life. I know you know this, and I know how hard it is to break the programming she is trying to instill within you as it concerns everyone else being your problem. Do not, I repeat, do not let her blind you to the fact that she is the one leaving the bruises, scars, and trauma on you and your life.
When she comes into your room screaming at you, hits you in the face over and over again, wraps her hands around your throat until you can't breath, and drags you across the ground by your hair: Stand strong, and fight back against her. What she is doing is illegal, and you have every right to use force—even lethal force in most cases—against her. She will promise not to do it again, but rest assured that she will never change; not even when you are twenty-six will she have changed for the better in the slightest, but she will have gotten much worse.
So I ask you now, assuring you that you are in the right in every instance, to fight your mother physically and verbally. After every time she puts a hand on you, beats you down, and locks you in a silent and dark room, call the police and report her. The police may not believe you, because humans are stupid and want to believe this type of stuff does not occur, but you need to file every report you can so that there is physical evidence in the future.
If you do not fight back you are going to end up being fed pills and lies that turn you into a jaded mess for a time, and you're never going to fully escape your misplaced cynicism. Your brothers will suffer a worse fate than you, and you won't be able to save them without taking drastic legal action against your entire family. You are the only one who can do it, I know you have it in you, so fight for yourself to whatever ends may come.
Whatever you do, do not depend on your father to help you; he is a worthless human being who cares only for his own comfort.
Your Father Is Scum
I know your dad doesn't seem so bad now, but that is because he still tries to make an effort to be in your life, and that is solely because you're young and super easy to deal with. The second your mother starts to try to utilize you against him, when you start to hear the harsh truths about them both, their feud with one another is going to ruin your relationship with him. Trust me when I say this, if you take control of your situation yourself you'll have no need for him any time in your life anyways.
Of course, I say all this because as you get older your father is going to fall farther and farther into the bottles he drinks, but never make an effort to do anything more than keep himself comfortable. Yes, he is going to do that cliché deadbeat dad thing and dip out on you for the sake of starting other families. Funny thing, something you can laugh about, he'll never have any kids other than you, but he will settle for raising other men's children—which he also fails miserably at multiple times.
At most you need to utilize your father for taking you to sports and social gatherings, because I know your mom tries her best to dissuade you from going out and having fun. Your dad will always let you go out, but make sure you keep him updated as to where you are at all times or else he will torture you for about two days despite nothing happening. Just don't do drugs, you little idiot; your friends won't bag on you for choosing not to be a degenerate drug user, and your friends and girlfriends are all worthless anyways.
Disregard Females, Obtain Currency
Let's get one thing straight here, buddy, you need to accept the fact that your initial choice in friends is based on the sheltered life that your mother forced you into. The cool, popular, successful kids don't do drugs and party all night long like in the movies you and your mom watch together; in fact, those kids would actually openly accept you into their group if you turn away from the types who do party and get wasted all the time. It is up to you to ignore the temptation of those easy females, and don't let your heart fall into the wrong hands.
You see, you're going to get into girls and fall hard onto the game of adolescent infatuation and heartbreak. The difference between you and others is that you actually feel the way you say you do, while others are simply mimicking things they've been told are mature and appropriate. These ladies you're into, not going to lie to you here, all they want is to roll in the hay with you.
Please, by all means do the horizontal monster mash with these girls, but don't invest any of your precious time, emotions, and money into them. Even the cutest, most fit and athletic girls you date are going to end up fat, junkies, or cheating on every boyfriend/husband they have; the funniest part about that being that it is completely true and verifiable. Ensure you keep your focuses on making money, and save up for when you can finally leave that torture chamber you're locked in.
Saving up money will be easy for you, dude, and even better is adopting the idea of, "Not making purchases that do not enrich your life in the long-term."
When you first hear that advice—the long-term gain versus short-term consequence advice—you're going to scoff because you're young; but dude, you have a body like a racehorse that needs some fine tuning and you'll be able to start your own business by the time you're sixteen. Don't spend that Christmas money on girls, videogames, and collectibles, instead go buy a lawn mower and some business cards, because going door to door will net you some serious dough.
I want you to know you're a warrior, man, and despite how your mother has made you feel about yourself with her constant snide remarks you have all the potential in the world to be better than everyone.
Awaken Your Warrior Spirit
I'm pretty sure I covered just about anything that matters in your life, at least the things that are going to lead you into the darkness you're forced to drag yourself out of, but I have one last important bit of advice for you. That advice is for you to be unafraid in the face of your enemies, and awaken that inner warrior just waiting to be unleashed. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and not a single worthless opinion anyone offers you now will matter on your path to success.
You have a warrior spirit, kid, and you'll prove that to yourself one way or another. Despite every crowd of vermin that scurries up to you and bites hard at your ankles, you'll kick them off and triumph over them. In the face of insurmountable odds, you'll prove that you're the unstoppable force that blew away the immovable object.
Let's face it, though, you're a realist with a deep sense of cynicism and these sentiments are going to fall on deaf ears. Brutal honesty is your favorite form of information, so let me put it in a way that you'll understand. I'll put it in that way that no one else could put it for you.
You are the alpha and omega of your own existence, the beginning and the end, so start acting like it. If you don't, well, I hope you enjoy the damage you chose to accept in favor of everyone else's fragile existence. You'll learn how worthless the majority is one day, but still strive to do what is best for everyone while valuing yourself.
Love you, guy, though we'll never get the chance to speak maybe in the next iteration of the universe you'll feel this through the universal energy.
A Possible Series
I'm not sure whether or not I would like to pursue this idea any further than I just have, but it was pretty interesting to write a letter to myself. If I had a figure in my life with the knowledge I do now when I was growing up, I know that things would be much different for me. Having always yearned for a savior figure in my life, one that wasn't delusional and non-existent as taught in most religions, I felt that writing a letter to myself and putting it out there was a great form of therapy.
Heck, maybe someone learns something from this worthless piece and takes something to heart that I didn't intend. Either way I think I enjoyed this style of writing, and will probably do more letters to strangers in the future. Let me know what you think of the idea, or don't, I really don't care either way. However, I do care to hear what you'd like to say to your younger self!
Thanks for reading!
Kyler J Falk (author) from California on October 23, 2020:
@Zulma: Heck yeah, and though it hurts my heart that you couldn't have a relationship with your family either, it is always good to know that you found your success and happiness in lieu of them. It really does take quite some time to fully detach and overcome such a rough scenario, and I commend you for it!
Thanks for reading!
Kyler J Falk (author) from California on October 23, 2020:
@John: I've often emailed the HubPages team about why they won't move series. I was under the impression you had done so as well. Did you ever get anywhere with them? Any time I email them about it I either:
A. Get stiffed with no response
B. Get a copy/paste message to check their rules and blah blah blah
Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon from United Kingdom on October 23, 2020:
This was a really moving piece and would really like to see more of this.
As for advice to myself self: Please stop wasting time trying to please your mother. She doesn't like you and there is nothing you can ever do to change that. Use your talent and energy to get out of this situation and make a better life for yourself.
It took me decades to come to that realization. I'm finally living the life I always deserved and I have no regrets leaving her and my father behind.
Have a great day, Kyler.
John Hansen from Queensland Australia on October 23, 2020:
Kyler, I have often said, "If I could go back in time knowing what I know now, I would change quite a few things." You conveyed that very well here. You had cause to change more than many.
I like the idea of writing these "letters to strangers" as a series, but bear in mind HubPages won't move articles to the niche sites if they think they are part of a series, So, that's your choice.