Kenneth is a rural citizen of Hamilton, Ala., and has begun to observe life and certain things and people helping him to write about them.
Has The Following
event ever happened to you? Better yet, have you ever witnessed this event? I am straining every nerve in order for you to really understand what I am talking about. This applies to men only because (even in 2019) I have never witnessed a woman doing what I am about to say: kicking the tires on a car lot, better yet, a used car lot. Therein is the second of two mysteries. No. I haven’t got a clue on why it happens.
Kicking the tires ranges back to the early days of Henry Ford’s first automobiles that he introduced to our nation. And after a certain time, those same NEW Model-A’s and T-Model’s got a bit worn, so the natural thing for the car owner was to trade with the car dealer where he got the first car. Make sense?
So the car owner, fully-aware and confident of being given a great deal on his used car, met with surprise when the car dealer had sold out to a new car dealer which caused the car owner to be a bit suspicious—and for good reason because even in the days of horse trading, the parties came with a bit of wary suspicion. The good reason was in those days, as in the early car dealing days, there were (and are) those car dealers who are so slick that they can cause the dead to rise and be able to do impossible feats—and the unsuspecting car owner has now been “taken,” “hosed,” and “his shirt was taken off.”
These Terms are why
the car owners who want to trade are super-suspicious because word-of-mouth has spread and this guy’s bowling buddy confided last week (over beers) that so and so car lot really beat him and took his money and the car simply by presenting a clever lie that was dressed up like a sensible presentation. The term is: a Con Job. And guess who got conned? Not the car dealer, but the poor sap who drove the con artist’s car off and now has put it in a number of automobile shops and costing him as much money to fix his car and pay his rent.
Personally, I think, (in this case), the Con Artist Car Dealer and the so-called Auto Mechanics had a clever agreement before the poor, naive car dealer walked on his lot and now are stuck trying to get the car dealer’s heap and running the way that it should. The so-called auto mechanics and the Con Car Dealer split the money, which was huge, charged to the sad car owner to fix the bolts and screws with four wheels and are now ready to claim bankruptcy.
Now Hear This:
if you are set to listen to my current gripe wrapped like a mystery, just hold on! And really, the subject of this hub may be as innocent as a newborn baby, and then again, not everything that glitters is gold. So traveling on to some unsuspecting used car lot and up walks a smarter-than-the-average-rock, car owner who is ready to trade with the right salesman, but he is afraid of being robbed—because his brother-in-law got conned to such extent that he is riding a bicycle.
That was until . . .some car owner is some obscure town in the USA had an idea on how he could trade cars with almost any used car dealer and come out to the good. This guy even put his idea into action and sure enough, it did work. Car dealers who witnessed this guy in action were baffled. They did not know how to handle the guy’s novel way of checking-out the car that the used car salesman was trying to “palm off” the clever car owner who was as sharp as a tack . . .thanks to him simply walking around the car and Kicking The Tires.
I wrote the topic in caps/upper and lower to make a point. The topic was that important. But yes, the clever car owner took his time in looking-over the car, kicked the tires more than once, cleared his throat and finally got down to negotiating with the car dealer who was now so worn-down from this guy’s new way of trading cars that he was ready to make the deal and with a few thousand bucks off the lot price.
Did you also know that Kicking The Tires has still got solid roots in 2019. Hey, even the young people, (girls included), are using this new application to “get the best” from a car dealer and to prove to the car dealer that the potential car trader is no boob. He is sharp and nothing gets by him. Beware used car dealers! If you try to bypass the Kicking The Tires, you will not come out to the good. I promise.
Here are a few more ways that people used to use when it came time to trade cars—and these theatrics came about prior to Kicking The Tires:
- Putting the right hand in pants pocket, rattle the keys and change. This move caused the used car dealer some trouble in keeping focus on the deal that was already in play.
- Whistling a lot of tunes to show that this guy was so smart that he was not to be messed with.
- Stamping the foot so much that the used car dealer forgot how much money he was going to make off of the car trade.
- Changing subjects every second to keep the used car dealer off-balance.
- Walking around the car several times and grunting as a sign that the used car trader had spotted something wrong with the car.
What do you Think
about my observation about the shrewd car owners who are in the business of “trading up” at some used car lot, but only to get a better car, but there may be another reason. A sharp reason. And follow me out here. Why do you think that Kicking The Tires have been around for so long? Certainly in the beginning of this custom could have been used to inspect the used car’s tires to see if they are low with air. I cannot nail the reason here, but I do suspect that with so many guys (possibly the girls) Kicking The Tires, something has to be going on between the used car customers and foreign countries who would love to come to our country, open up their own car lots and possibly take over the city without as much as one police officer ever suspecting what is really happening.
Did you ever suspect that the Watergate Break-in was a working conspiracy? Well, do some reading about President Nixon and his band of loyal subjects and what might have happened—and I can promise you that ONE of the “burglars” did in his time Kick The Tires of some used car on a lot that might have been located near the Watergate Hotel. Ever think about that?
So my open-thinking is not that lavish, is it? In this day and time, everything and anything is possible thanks to the sharp-thinking used car owners who knew ahead of time that they needed a clever signal to give a certain message to the higher-up’s who were hold up in some sensitive motel room just waiting to be able to make their move of tyranny and chaos. Kicking The Tires. Yes, it worked not only for the used car owners who used this clever custom to pass along information on how their bosses might open up a new fried chicken restaurant which could be a front to study the government where they lived and someday take over the government and God only knows what is to come.
Did you ever think that we would be witnessing something as slick as Kicking The Tires? Well, the sharper-thinkers who used another way to cement the Kicking The Tires to learn more about the government . . .they use the clever ploy of Taking The Car for a Test Drive.
Who would have thought it?
May 17, 2019________________________________________________
© 2019 Kenneth Avery