I was born in the south. I live in the south and will die in the south. This is only a small part of the memories I share.
A Very Long Time ago
I began to notice a few things that did not make any sense. I know that this is a broad statement, but someone had to say it—and it might as well be me. I am not here to condemn, judge, or put anyone in an uncomfortable position. For the most part I like to “live and let live.” But there are a few things that I have seen over my life and to this day, I cannot define or understand these idiotic things.
One thing that I witnessed (years ago) when the late George Reeves had the role of Superman on TV and I liked the show, but found myself in a confused state when one episode had Superman nabbing a major criminal who was using a firearm to shoot the Man of Steel. But the bullets didn’t phase Superman, but when the thug fired his last bullet, he threw his gun at Superman and he dodged as to not get hit. My mouth flew open! Here was the Hero of our Universe and bullets did not hurt him, but jumped away when the firearm came near him.
If the gun had been made by Lex Luthor, (Superman’s arch enemy), and this gun was made from Kryptonite, (Superman’s weakness), I could understand, but the thug was just a thug and his gun was just a gun. You can figure this one out.
Then This Idiotic Event Where
I happened to be watching a classic Army movie and it was not about Gary “Sgt. York” Cooper or Audie Murphy. Instead, the scene that I watched was about Combat training that (back then) the Army was putting the recruits through in order for them to be able to defend themselves. I noticed at the end of this training session which involved a recruit learning how to handle a rifle, but his rifle was made from wood. It looked like a rifle. Smelled like a rifle. But it was not a rifle. The Army drill instructor pointed out to the men, “be sure you know how to handle (this) weapon, for you might hurt someone.” If the instructor had only said something about the M-1 rifle, that might have worked, but he held up the wooden gun as he delivered the message to the recruits.
This statement about “hurting someone,” might have been how the Army G.I’s could fight a battle using a wooden gun—did the G.I’s think that they could inflict sharp splinters into the enemy’s bodies? Or just slug them in the head? This is one for the peace-loving Alan “Hawkeye Pierce” Alda.
I was visiting one of my doctor’s a few weeks ago and he asked me where my body was hurting. I showed him. Then he walked over to me and began jabbing and poking the very same area as he said, does that hurt? I answered, yes. He started jabbing and poking and asked a second time, does that hurt? I answered again, YES! He looked over my files, wrote something on the files, wrote a prescription and said to see him in three weeks. And this was without telling me why my body was hurting. I guess that I had to use faith instead of wisdom huh?One Sign That I Noticed
in one of our local eateries, was so comical that my analytical mind had to laugh. I visited the men’s room and was going to answer Nature’s Call and I did that, but not before I saw this big sign on the wall which read . . .”Be Sure to Wash Hands Before Work,” I wondered. Did this sign pertain to me? Or the restaurant employees? Anyway, I did wash my hands, again, and left with a satisfied soul. One more thing about this mysterious sign: if the employees reported to work, did they have to visit this men’s room then wash their hands? This, I tell you, was very confusing.
But the Very Best Example
of an idiotic thing in life that has been here for years. You can go to any football game on the high school or college level and if you like professional football, you can watch the games on TV. I know that you have seen “this” situation and if you watched carefully,it made you as frustrated as did me.
For instance. The game was pretty one-sided as The Chicago Bears ran-over the Baltimore Ravens and by the fourth quarter, the lop-sided score was Chicago 58; Baltimore 7. With only ONE minute left in the game, we all knew that Chicago would take home a victory. But . . .just then with 12 second left, Baltimore called their last time out. Dear God, why? I mean, Baltimore, I hate it, but you got your butt kicked and what game plan could you possibly install to beat the Bears with only 12 seconds left?
But the referees along with the Ravens having a meeting on the sidelines. The head coach and assistants called a play that was as equally-idiotic as the time-out with 12 seconds left. The Ravens quarterback, from their own 25 yard line, called a pass play to their tight end, but was ran-over within seconds. Game over!
Did you understand my question? NO way, even with the Bears deciding that the game was over and heading for the locker room, could the Ravens possibly pull-off a miracle as happened in Nashville, Tenn., Jan. 8, 2000, when Jeff Fisher, head coach of the Tennessee Titans called a “Home Run Throw Back” which led to a winning TD (over the Buffalo Bills, 22-16) with the now-legend play: “The Music City Miracle.” But with the Ravens and Bears, no such luck. I wondered even while the Ravens and coaching staff why the head coach just walked over to Chicago’s head coach and shook hands with him and the time-out could have been forgotten?
Needless. 12 seconds. 12 lousy seconds. Time that we will never have again. Was this your original plan, Baltimore Ravens?
May 16, 2019_______________________________________________
© 2019 Kenneth Avery
Kenneth Avery (author) from Hamilton, Alabama on May 26, 2019:
Hi, Dear Doris: I will be searching hard and long to find a lot of really stupid things to make you and I laugh. Deal?
Thank you for coming by.
Doris James MizBejabbers from Beautiful South on May 22, 2019:
Oh, dear me, Kenneth, let's find something really stupid to worry about. Like when a driver of a car on a cross street sees you approaching with the right-of-way. He has plenty of time to safely pull out as you approach, but he waits until you are within 20 feet of him, making you stand your car on its nose to avoid a collision.