Missy is a unique writer who enjoys inviting her readers into her thoughts through her poetry and other topics of discussion.
Let's Discuss Life Shall We...
Life can seem so unfair, can’t it? I know I can’t speak for anyone’s life but my own; however, I know there are more lost souls out there like mine; trying to overcome the unfair cruelty of a world, that doesn’t seem to get better only worse.
If you are like me, you get up every day with hope, but by nightfall, it’s shattered as just another day. If you rejoice and find happiness in anything, it’s usually that you made it through the miserable day with a mask of normalcy. If you have kids like me, they help as well. Keeping busy with them and seeing how they are progressing makes you happy. It makes me smile for a while. However, those are moments in a day, and the truth is, I can’t remember the last time that I was happy for a total of a whole day without realizing the depth of my unhappiness.
Then, I ask myself, Is it my fault? If I’m to listen to the outside world, it is my fault. Everyone says you have to make your own happiness, and I believe there was a time I agreed with that also until I couldn’t believe that anymore. And what I mean by that is; I continue to try my very best to believe like that. I still try to wake with an optimistic outlook that the day will bring something of some good luck my way. I smile through the day. I keep hoping throughout the day. Even so, as the day goes away and evening becomes a reality; I'm exhausted from hoping, and I’m tired of pretending. So in my confession, some days I just don’t try to make myself happy. Sue Me!!
So, the question remains, is it my fault? My answer is NO, and it’s no because I know even with all the crappy luck I’ve had in this life with being a shy introvert up into my twenties, then somehow meeting all the wrong men, people would judge that as plain bad choices on my part. They would say, “You have to make better choices; you should learn from your mistakes.” Really?? Well, I can tell you I have fallen in love with totally different personalities and races. I have stayed in these relationships for at least seven to eight years each, and I have done everything in my power to make it work. Nevertheless, I was the one that was always left behind; traded in for a new model if you will. Is that my fault? Those who know me, know that it wasn’t, but they still say it was my bad choices. That I pick the same type of guys, yet knowing they were totally different. So how can that be?
I know since I’ve been here on Hubpages, I have depressed others with my sullen attitude, with my truth about my life being dark. I want to apologize for that, and then I don’t. I want to because I know you see me as a Debbie downer, yet I don’t want to, because I’m only being me, I'm just being real.
I want to say that I will continue to try to find my purpose every day, I know this is something I must do. I must not give up hope. Deep in me, everyone has to know that I would like to have a different mindset and a life that was at least content. No one wants to be this way. However, in the same way, as I have said before, I accept who I am in the here and now. I have no choice. My life has been unlucky, and it’s what I have to accept. I have to be honest, and I have to carry on.
I believe it is unfair in some respects, but when I look at some of the ones that get lucky, all I can think is there has to be some kind of hidden secrets there. I don’t believe God would give some of these undeserving people such a great life. Take my ex-boyfriends, for example; they have gone on to be either lonely, or they have gotten with a real mean spirited person. I guess you call that Karma!
I don’t know…I just know; I wish things could be different, but maybe they’re not supposed to be. However, that will not make me stop trying. Promise!
People have always said
happiness comes from
you have to make yourself
smile every day, then those
dark clouds will float away.
I don’t believe this for a fact.
If this was so, then my life
would not lack.
I wake up every morning and
tell myself; I'll be happy in this
new day. And I hope it does
end up that way.
However, I know this more than
they; the day will come and go
with deep regress of nothing
better to show.
Just the same old, same old, as
wake up, be present, and then
scurry off to bed, to quickly
drift off to something more
Something pleasant, yes that’s
right… zoning out behind the
curtains of my eyes. It’s what
I anticipate when my day turns
Sometimes, I sleep without
a dream. Which makes me
wonder if death would be this
Sometimes, I dream the most
terrible things, like being chased
by a psycho on a killing spree.
It’s always a bit funny to me, that
I still would rather remain asleep…
than to wake in the morning is
mostly bleak. It’s hard to find the
energy to be that seemingly upbeat
The task of that is difficult to
accomplish, when nothing has
ever tagged me as fair only
And so…now do you see my
reasons for disbelief…
happiness does not come from
within. That luck I have noticed
is only handed out to the Devil’s
My Personality Type
INFP personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, INFPs have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the INFP personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.
INFP personality being a part of the Diplomat (NF) personality group, INFPs are guided by their principles, rather than by logic (Analysts), excitement (Explorers), or practicality (Sentinels). When deciding how to move forward, they will look to honor, beauty, morality, and virtue – INFPs are led by the purity of their intent, not rewards and punishments. People who share the INFP personality type are proud of this quality, and rightly so, but not everyone understands the drive behind these feelings, and it can lead to isolation.
All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost.
J. R. R. Tolkien
We Know What We Are, but Know Not What We May Be
At their best, these qualities enable INFPs to communicate deeply with others, easily speaking in metaphors and parables, and understanding and creating symbols to share their ideas. The strength of this intuitive communication style lends itself well to creative works, and it comes as no surprise that many famous INFPs are poets, writers, and actors. Understanding themselves and their place in the world is important to INFPs, and they explore these ideas by projecting themselves into their work.
INFPs have a talent for self-expression, revealing their beauty and their secrets through metaphors and fictional characters.
INFPs’ ability with language doesn’t stop with their native tongue, either – as with most people who share the Diplomat personality types, they are considered gifted when it comes to learning a second (or third!) language. Their gift for communication also lends itself well to INFPs’ desire for harmony, a recurring theme with Diplomats, and helps them to move forward as they find their calling.
Listen to Many People, but Talk to Few
Unlike their Extraverted cousins though, INFPs will focus their attention on just a few people, a single worthy cause – spread too thinly, they’ll run out of energy, and even become dejected and overwhelmed by all the bad in the world that they can’t fix. This is a sad sight for INFPs’ friends, who will come to depend on their rosy outlook.
If they are not careful, INFPs can lose themselves in their quest for good and neglect the day-to-day upkeep that life demands. INFPs often drift into deep thought, enjoying contemplating the hypothetical and the philosophical more than any other personality type. Left unchecked, INFPs may start to lose touch, withdrawing into "hermit mode", and it can take a great deal of energy from their friends or partner to bring them back to the real world.
Luckily, like the flowers in spring, INFP’s affection, creativity, altruism, and idealism will always come back, rewarding them and those they love perhaps not with logic and utility, but with a world view that inspires compassion, kindness, and beauty wherever they go.
2. STRENGTHS & WEAKNESSES
William Shakespeare J.R.R. Tolkien Björk Johnny Depp Julia Roberts Lisa Kudrow Tom Hiddleston Homer Virgil
“Frodo Baggins” from The Lord of the Rings “Anne of Green Gables” “Fox Mulder” from X-Files “Deanna Troi” from Star Trek “Wesley Crusher” from Star Trek
What type of person are you? :)
- Free Personality Test | 16Personalities
Free personality test - take it to find out why our readers say that this personality test is so accurate, “it's a little bit creepy.” No registration required!
The Dark Angels Creed
What are you??
Dark Is Not Evil...
© 2015 Missy Smith