INFP-A Personality Type. That's Me! (The Mediator)

Updated on April 30, 2020
Missy Smith profile image

Missy is a unique writer who enjoys inviting her readers into her thoughts through her poetry and other topics of discussion.  

Let's Discuss Life Shall We...

Life can seem so unfair, can’t it? I know I can’t speak for anyone’s life but my own; however, I know there are more lost souls out there like mine; trying to overcome the unfair cruelty of a world, that doesn’t seem to get better only worse.

If you are like me, you get up every day with hope, but by nightfall, it’s shattered as just another day. If you rejoice and find happiness in anything, it’s usually that you made it through the miserable day with a mask of normalcy. If you have kids like me, they help as well. Keeping busy with them and seeing how they are progressing makes you happy. It makes me smile for a while. However, those are moments in a day, and the truth is, I can’t remember the last time that I was happy for a total of a whole day without realizing the depth of my unhappiness.

Then, I ask myself, Is it my fault? If I’m to listen to the outside world, it is my fault. Everyone says you have to make your own happiness, and I believe there was a time I agreed with that also until I couldn’t believe that anymore. And what I mean by that is; I continue to try my very best to believe like that. I still try to wake with an optimistic outlook that the day will bring something of some good luck my way. I smile through the day. I keep hoping throughout the day. Even so, as the day goes away and evening becomes a reality; I'm exhausted from hoping, and I’m tired of pretending. So in my confession, some days I just don’t try to make myself happy. Sue Me!!

So, the question remains, is it my fault? My answer is NO, and it’s no because I know even with all the crappy luck I’ve had in this life with being a shy introvert up into my twenties, then somehow meeting all the wrong men, people would judge that as plain bad choices on my part. They would say, “You have to make better choices; you should learn from your mistakes.” Really?? Well, I can tell you I have fallen in love with totally different personalities and races. I have stayed in these relationships for at least seven to eight years each, and I have done everything in my power to make it work. Nevertheless, I was the one that was always left behind; traded in for a new model if you will. Is that my fault? Those who know me, know that it wasn’t, but they still say it was my bad choices. That I pick the same type of guys, yet knowing they were totally different. So how can that be?

I know since I’ve been here on Hubpages, I have depressed others with my sullen attitude, with my truth about my life being dark. I want to apologize for that, and then I don’t. I want to because I know you see me as a Debbie downer, yet I don’t want to, because I’m only being me, I'm just being real.

I want to say that I will continue to try to find my purpose every day, I know this is something I must do. I must not give up hope. Deep in me, everyone has to know that I would like to have a different mindset and a life that was at least content. No one wants to be this way. However, in the same way, as I have said before, I accept who I am in the here and now. I have no choice. My life has been unlucky, and it’s what I have to accept. I have to be honest, and I have to carry on.

I believe it is unfair in some respects, but when I look at some of the ones that get lucky, all I can think is there has to be some kind of hidden secrets there. I don’t believe God would give some of these undeserving people such a great life. Take my ex-boyfriends, for example; they have gone on to be either lonely, or they have gotten with a real mean spirited person. I guess you call that Karma!

I don’t know…I just know; I wish things could be different, but maybe they’re not supposed to be. However, that will not make me stop trying. Promise!


My Analogy...

People have always said

happiness comes from


you have to make yourself

smile every day, then those

dark clouds will float away.

I don’t believe this for a fact.

If this was so, then my life

would not lack.

I wake up every morning and

tell myself; I'll be happy in this

new day. And I hope it does

end up that way.

However, I know this more than

they; the day will come and go

with deep regress of nothing

better to show.

Just the same old, same old, as

it goes…

wake up, be present, and then

scurry off to bed, to quickly

drift off to something more

pleasant instead.

Something pleasant, yes that’s

right… zoning out behind the

curtains of my eyes. It’s what

I anticipate when my day turns

to night.

Sometimes, I sleep without

a dream. Which makes me

wonder if death would be this


Sometimes, I dream the most

terrible things, like being chased

by a psycho on a killing spree.

It’s always a bit funny to me, that

I still would rather remain asleep…

than to wake in the morning is

mostly bleak. It’s hard to find the

energy to be that seemingly upbeat


The task of that is difficult to

accomplish, when nothing has

ever tagged me as fair only


And so…now do you see my

reasons for disbelief…

happiness does not come from

within. That luck I have noticed

is only handed out to the Devil’s



My Personality Type

INFP personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, INFPs have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the INFP personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.

INFP personality being a part of the Diplomat (NF) personality group, INFPs are guided by their principles, rather than by logic (Analysts), excitement (Explorers), or practicality (Sentinels). When deciding how to move forward, they will look to honor, beauty, morality, and virtue – INFPs are led by the purity of their intent, not rewards and punishments. People who share the INFP personality type are proud of this quality, and rightly so, but not everyone understands the drive behind these feelings, and it can lead to isolation.

All that is gold does not glitter; not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither; deep roots are not reached by the frost.
J. R. R. Tolkien
We Know What We Are, but Know Not What We May Be

At their best, these qualities enable INFPs to communicate deeply with others, easily speaking in metaphors and parables, and understanding and creating symbols to share their ideas. The strength of this intuitive communication style lends itself well to creative works, and it comes as no surprise that many famous INFPs are poets, writers, and actors. Understanding themselves and their place in the world is important to INFPs, and they explore these ideas by projecting themselves into their work.

INFPs have a talent for self-expression, revealing their beauty and their secrets through metaphors and fictional characters.
INFPs’ ability with language doesn’t stop with their native tongue, either – as with most people who share the Diplomat personality types, they are considered gifted when it comes to learning a second (or third!) language. Their gift for communication also lends itself well to INFPs’ desire for harmony, a recurring theme with Diplomats, and helps them to move forward as they find their calling.

Listen to Many People, but Talk to Few

Unlike their Extraverted cousins though, INFPs will focus their attention on just a few people, a single worthy cause – spread too thinly, they’ll run out of energy, and even become dejected and overwhelmed by all the bad in the world that they can’t fix. This is a sad sight for INFPs’ friends, who will come to depend on their rosy outlook.

If they are not careful, INFPs can lose themselves in their quest for good and neglect the day-to-day upkeep that life demands. INFPs often drift into deep thought, enjoying contemplating the hypothetical and the philosophical more than any other personality type. Left unchecked, INFPs may start to lose touch, withdrawing into "hermit mode", and it can take a great deal of energy from their friends or partner to bring them back to the real world.

Luckily, like the flowers in spring, INFP’s affection, creativity, altruism, and idealism will always come back, rewarding them and those they love perhaps not with logic and utility, but with a world view that inspires compassion, kindness, and beauty wherever they go.

Famous INFPs

William Shakespeare J.R.R. Tolkien Björk Johnny Depp Julia Roberts Lisa Kudrow Tom Hiddleston Homer Virgil
Fictional INFPs

“Frodo Baggins” from The Lord of the Rings “Anne of Green Gables” “Fox Mulder” from X-Files “Deanna Troi” from Star Trek “Wesley Crusher” from Star Trek

The Dark Angels Creed


What are you??

Are you an Introvert, Extrovert, or Ambivert

See results

Dark Is Not Evil...

Do you array a light all day with the truth behind it? Or are you a dark angel that has carried burdens on your shoulders?

See results

© 2015 Missy Smith


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    • Missy Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Missy Smith 

      4 years ago from Florida

      I love nature and animals too aviannovice. As I get older, I really connect more to it than ever before. Thanks for reading my hub! :)

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 

      4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      I was always attracted to nature and animals more than people, so I have never really gotten myself in much of a bind with too many people not living up to what they say they are. Some folks need people more than others, but I am happiest mucking about with the call of nature rather than the call of nature or sustenance.

    • Missy Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Missy Smith 

      4 years ago from Florida

      If you didn't read all the information behind your personality type Gypsy, you can go back and take it again, then where it says read more, click on that and it will display what your type means. I think you will be surprised by those results. Most who take this personality test are.

      Thank you for reading my work! :)

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 

      4 years ago from Daytona Beach, Florida

      Very interesting indeed. Enjoyed the poetry. I took the test and my result was Personality type Advocate INFJ-T

    • Missy Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Missy Smith 

      4 years ago from Florida

      Yes, MizBejabbers, I have always felt that the rules change on me in the middle of things. Maybe, I'm one that has never understood the rules; I don't really know? I've always felt different in my outlooks on life. It could be the contributing factor to my hard life.

      Aaahhh...Contentment!! It would be so nice, and it's not a lot to ask for. It just seems hard to come by in this day and age, doesn't it??

      I really enjoyed reading your comment MizBejabbers. Thanks for taking the time to read my hub. Take care! :)

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      Doris James MizBejabbers 

      4 years ago from Beautiful South

      I'm an ENFP-A, and I'm not sure what that makes me unless it's an extroverted version of you. I'm so sorry you are having to go through a life of not being happy, but I do relate to it. Do you ever feel like when you start something that feels solid at first, the rules get changed in the middle of the game? Like a relationship or a new job? How well I know the feeling!

      I was told in my metaphysical studies that sometimes we put all our Karmas into one lifetime and pay them off in a lump sum. Kind of like a credit card, we can pay it off in installments (lifetimes) or make one lump sum payment and get it over with. That is the only way I've been able to tolerate a lifetime of one trouble after another.

      But now that I'm nearing the end of mine, I keep asking for "just a little peace and contentment" in my last few years left. Is that really too much to ask? Well, I guess you and I can just keep on asking. My friend always tells me "ask not and you shall not receive".

    • Missy Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Missy Smith 

      4 years ago from Florida

      Thanks for taking the time to read this hub Chitrangada. I feel I'm a fighter, I really do. Sharing my thoughts and feelings is one way I fight through things I deal with. :)

    • Missy Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Missy Smith 

      4 years ago from Florida

      Thank you Venkatachari M. Yes, I'm pretty in tune with whom I am and why I feel the way I do. I have things I go through like anyone else; I suppose, it's just I self-help myself by sharing my thoughts and feelings with others.

      You should have read more about your type. It is really interesting. However, the fact that you got Consul, kind of says a lot already, right? :)

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      A very well expressed hub!

      First of all I must congratulate you for this that you already know the problem. And if one is aware of the problem, it becomes easier to solve it. Right!

      Just as if the doctor has diagnosed the disease, it can be cured by the correct and suitable medicine.

      Just treat yourself like a normal person and be rest assured that this is not happening to you alone but many people face such situations.

      As someone has rightly said, 'If there is life, there will be dreams. If there are dreams, there will be goals. If there are goals, there will be ways to meet them . If there are ways, you need courage to reach there. Because the fighter always wins and never loses."

      Although it is easier said than done. Please try it.

      Wish you all the happiness!

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 

      4 years ago from Hyderabad, India

      Interesting read. I do not find any thing serious with your personality as you are able to analyse everything so perfectly and find out solutions on your own. I think, you are already trying sincerely to overcome your mood swings and approach everything positively. Keep up this spirit and you will be happy.

      I went through the test and found myself to be ESFJ- A (Consul). I do not go deep into its meaning.

    • Missy Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Missy Smith 

      4 years ago from Florida

      Thank you Jodah. I think I'm the type of person that will always be writing my feelings and emotions, because it does help define who I am and what I have gone through. I think I am a very complex person that a lot of people just don't get, and I'm fine with that; actually, I kind of like that. However, I am also thankful for finding friends, such as yourself, who get me totally. I like that as well. See...complex and always delightfully off balance. lol...

      I'm so glad you took the personality test. I love tests like this, and it was very correct for me too. I'm glad you went back and checked your explanation for your result. I have always said if I was a male, me and Johnny Depp would be best buds! lol...I wasn't surprised he was an INFP personality type. The whole thing explained me so well. That's why I wanted to share it.

      You have been a continuous support for me here Jodah, and I would like to thank you so much for that. Thanks for getting me! :)

    • Missy Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Missy Smith 

      4 years ago from Florida

      This is such a kind and caring response to my writing whonunuwho. I am so thankful to have found HP and I am thrilled to have met some very nice people, such as yourself, who seem to understand the person I am, and are always nice enough to share great words of wisdom with me. I am very grateful for comments like yours. Thank You!

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      4 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Missy, I just went back to that personality test site and found the definition of my personality type. It is quite eerie how accurate it is. At least I think so.

      Queen Elizabeth II, Halle Berry and Robert E Lee have the same personality type, and the fictional character Dr Watson from Sherlock Holmes fame and Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      4 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Hi Missy, I think you express your feelings and know yourself better than most people I know. You also have the unique ability to write about it in a clear and intelligent way.

      They say the first step to dealing with your problems is to recognise them. Once you do that you can get on with the job of fixing them. Well you have done that. I think your writing is a great way of expressing yourself and putting your concerns and troubles out there rather than bottling them up like many do. That should be the best therapy. I think it is for me.

      I took the personality test, and I came out with a personality of:

      ISFJ - T (DEFENDER) Not sure what all that means. I didn't really see an explanation anywhere. Maybe I missed it. Anyway, great hub and poetry as always. Hugs.

    • whonunuwho profile image


      4 years ago from United States

      I believe there is a stronger person inside you and you display this in your strong writing my friend. You have a talent for expressing yourself very well and I know you will go far. Be strong and you will succeed in life. I have found that helping others, sharing of myself in my life story and belief in a God, has helped me along the pathway of life and has meaning to others as well as myself. Each of us lies their chosen life and follows a religion, or not. The kind and its influence on others makes all the difference.Keep up the great writing. whonu

    • Missy Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Missy Smith 

      4 years ago from Florida

      You know Frank; I'm not sure I would know how to act if my life became predictable and common. I mean, yes, I do wish sometimes it would be a little normal. Mainly because I'm getting older, and I fear being all alone when I'm truly old. However, otherwise, the uncommon has become my common lifestyle. I guess I like being weird and different now.

      I bet you couldn't tell I'm different, right?? lol... Thanks for your comment. :)

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      4 years ago from Shelton

      You have conveyed so much emotional depth here Missy.. I like life and how unpredictable it can be.. and as ole Frank Sinatra says.. live life until you die...LOL again great poetry..


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