I Met The Love of My Life...Again...and Married Him!
Once upon a time, a young girl was in a Christian singing group in high school. The girls wore long gowns, and the boys wore tuxedos. The conductor of the group also wore a tuxedo. There were lights, sound, and even a multimedia show that was part of the group's appearances. The group toured New England and even went to Europe singing their hearts out for the Lord. Many people's lives were touched by this group and their message of Christ's love for them. The young girl was so happy to be able to be part of such a special group and to bring such an important message to the world. She never felt closer to the Lord than when she was singing for him. Eventually, the girl grew up and went away to college. The Director left to start his own business which involved a lot of traveling. New directors came and went. New singers came and went. And twenty-eight years later, there was a reunion...
As you probably guessed, I am the girl in the story. The reunion of the New Life Singers was held in July of 2004. Many of the singers hadn't seen each other for 25 - 30 years. It was a heady experience to be all together again, and practice songs that the group used to sing so many years ago. There were pictures in scrapbooks that were shared, love, laughter, song, and much Christian fellowship. When the weekend was over, some of the singers who were still local decided to get together once per month and sing for old times sake. And I noticed the director...noticed much more about him than his musical directing abilities...!
By the following April, everyone met for dinner, and about one week later, I had my first date with the man who had been the director of the group. We were both going through a divorce at the time. We got together for dinner, and it was amazing to me that we had an absolutely wonderful time. You can tell from the picture that there is an age difference, but we didn't notice it. And we still don't. All I noticed was how blue his eyes were, and that I didn't want to let go of his hand all through dinner. In fact, although I am right handed, I held his left hand with my right hand all the way through dinner and ate with my left hand...not an easy feat believe me. I just didn't want to let go. And although we have had our challenges, we have been together ever since.
My First Marriage
I had been through a marriage that I thought was going to be good but hadn't paid attention to the signs beforehand. And as the children came along my first husband grew further and further away from me, so it was as though I was bringing the children up by myself. After 17 years, we divorced. Although I still believed in marriage, I believed in marriage to someone who was the right match for me. My first husband and I were not the right match.
The thing about Chuck was that I already knew him. I knew what kind of person he was...kind, loving, intelligent, generous, funny, and not someone who would hurt my children. I knew we had the same religious beliefs too. We were able to jump ahead in the dating period and skip all the "tell me about yourself" conversations that couples who just start out usually have. Ours, was more of the "catch me up on what's been happening in your life" type of conversation and "how are the families"? It was a comfort to be with someone who knew me way back when, and still liked me anyway! But If you had told me back then so many years ago that we would end up together someday I would have told you that you were crazy! I had not known then that he would turn out to be the love of my life.
There was the fear in the beginning that he would hurt me. So, after a few short months when things were going really well, I got scared and told him the deepest secrets about myself that I thought might chase him away. I decided if this wasn't going to work out, I wanted to know right away before I got in too deep. In fact, I remember crying one night when I told him one of my biggest faults. It did not chase him away, and in fact, he told me that everything was going to be fine and we would work it out. He was right.
Finally Together Forever
After five years of dating, we got married. The wedding, two years ago, was the best day of my life...except for the days, my children were born. Although when I think about it, there was pain in those days and there was no pain on our wedding day. There was only pure joy that this man and I had found each other...again, and were committing the rest of our lives together. We had lots of formal wedding photos and candid photos taken to remember this special day, and every time I look at them, especially the candid ones, I see our love all over again, expressed in our eyes. He is the most romantic man I have ever met. He sends me flowers, takes me out for romantic dinners, takes me on wonderful vacations including an annual cruise. He is very honest with me, and although he loves to kid around, he keeps the lines of communication open. I'm not saying we don't have disagreements, but when we do, we are always able to talk them out. He is a wonderful provider and loves his work which is something I highly admire about him. He treats me like a queen, which is something that I have never had before.
A Soul Connection
Although we do have friends that are single, I want to fix them all up so that they can have the amazing relationship that we are having. But I realize that this is a very unusual experience. We are very connected to each other, and not everyone is blessed enough to have that. Sometimes one of us will pick up the phone to call the other one, and a call is coming in from the other person. I don't think I ever really believed in soul mates, but now that I am with Chuck and in this relationship, I feel our souls have a connection. If one of us is having a bad day, all we have to do is sit next to each other on the couch, or hold hands, or hug, and all the negativity of the day disappears, and all is right in our world again. We have helped each other deal with divorces, a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, challenges with our children, and it has all brought us closer. And although our lives would have been easier without those challenges, there is no one else I would have rather gone through them with.
The Age Difference
The age difference does affect us in one small way. I think we appreciate each other more because we know our marriage, not a first for either of us, is time-limited. We don't have the expectations of a young couple getting married in their twenties. We don't have expectations that we will reach our 50th anniversary. It is a reminder of how blessed we are to have found each other again, and that we need to cherish each other as much as we can now because we don't know how much time we have left. And we plan to make the most of every minute.
Have your ever had a romantic connection with someone from your past?
Questions & Answers
© 2012 Karen Hellier