Cassidy is a college graduate with a Bachelor's Degree in Criminal Justice. She enjoys writing and reading in her free time.
There Once Was a Girl
I never thought I'd resort to online dating. I'm a very friendly person, outgoing and kind; but when you live in a little town where it's impossible to meet anyone, you start thinking of other possibilities. 'There has to be more than this,' you tell yourself. And finally you look over the edge and take the leap. That's what it was like for me doing online dating.
Not to say I was lonely. I just felt there was something missing from my life. So I fired up my computer and searched through tons of dating sites. But how do I choose the right one? Well, honestly, I signed up for a few before I found the one that worked for me. Others may find that one of the other sites works better for them and that's ok! Everyone is a little different. Anyway, here is my story, my experience, with online dating.
Love Is a Flower
The Failed Suitor
Now everything didn't start out with fireworks and that feeling you get when your airplane takes off and you're just weightless. No. Things started with a guy, let's call him Bob, that was all the things your mom warned you about growing up.
So I met Bob on Match.com and he seemed like a really sweet guy when I was talking to him online. He was the perfect gentleman and I thought that I could definitely see myself liking him a lot. Everything was going great and we had been talking for about a month online. He didn't have minutes or something so we never spoke on the phone. So finally we decide to meet in person and I am super excited. But being a woman with a bachelor's in Criminal Justice, I knew to take some precautions. So we met up somewhere public. A restaurant or something similar. And he was cute in a geeky kind of way and we really hit it off. We never ran out of things to talk about. And then comes my first mistake.
I let this guy I really hardly knew take me home. So now he knew where I lived! What was I thinking? Anyway, we said good night as he lived about an hour away and he got on the road. But not before he leaned in and tried to kiss me. I have a rule that I do not kiss guys after the first date and he knew this. So there was an awkward dodge where he ended up kissing my cheek. And that's where I left him to go on his way.
He then blows up my messages on the website until I haltingly agree to go on a second date with him. So we go to the fair with my family. It's close to my birthday and he hands me a box with a beautiful necklace in it. Way too beautiful for a second date. I'm speechless because I really just don't know what to say. He takes that as an invitation I guess and before I can stop him he kisses me. Without my permission! And he stuck right next to me the whole night. Didn't try to talk to my family or anything. A real clingy kind of guy. I cut that off real soon after that.
Here Be Dragons
You should definitely be careful when you decide to date online, but not to the point of paranoia. This goes for guys and girls both. If something feels off or uncomfortable, don't ignore it! Those gut feelings could save your life! Just be aware of the person you're meeting up with. You may have been talking to them for a month online, but they could be an entirely different individual when you meet face-to-face.
So here are some red flags to look out for:
- They want to meet or go somewhere off the beaten path.
- They get very clingy.
- They make up excuses for simple things.
- They try to keep you away from your friends and family.
- They ignore everyone else when you are together in a public place.
- They contact you too much, to the point where you may feel uncomfortable or scared.
Those are just a few things to look out for.
There are things you can do to protect yourself, too. You can:
- Carry a legal weapon with you (pepper spray, pocket knife).
- Let someone know where you'll be.
- Let someone know who you will be with.
- Let someone know when you expect to be back.
If they know someone is expecting you or knows where you are, they'll be less likely to try something.
Keep yourself safe because creeps use dating sites, too. But there are also the gentlemen and ladies who are the real deal.
Damsel in Distress
So first experience was no good. And now I'm thinking to myself that I was right and that I'll never find someone online. Let's add things up here: I'm feeling inadequate and hopeless, the only experience I've had with online dating has been horrible, and now I'm thinking I'll never find someone. How great my life has turned out. But I didn't give up! I may be a bit down on myself, but one bad experience doesn't mean they all have to be. So I jumped right back in. Quit Match.com and joined EHarmony.com instead. And oh man was that the best decision of my love life!
And in He Rides
I wasn't on EHarmony for long when I got a message from a guy I really liked the look of. He was cute, a gamer, in the military, and not too much older than me. Perfect! But I was a bit sceptical considering the last guy. So we met in the Wal-Mart parking lot and I let my mom know what we were doing and when I'd be back. Pocket knife safely settled in my pocket, I walked over to the guy I thought I was supposed to meet and holy cow! He looked just like his profile said and I already had good feelings about this. We went to lunch and talked about a lot of stuff. We had so much in common it was crazy! And then we went out to a little place near town and he taught me how to shoot a bow. On the first date!
He was the guy I had always dreamed about and rode in like my knight in shining armor just when I was starting to feel down on myself. We officially started going out the day before St Patrick's Day 2016. He left for a tour in Afghanistan not too long after that. The next six months were some of the longest of my life. But he came home safe and we've been happily together for over a year and I hope for a long time still.
That just goes to show that not everyone lies about who they are. Sometimes you just have to take a chance and hope that it all falls into place.