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How My Grandmother Raised Me

My aunt (left) and grandma (right)

My aunt (left) and grandma (right)

Introduction

So if you've been reading any of personal hubs in the past, you'll discover that my grandma has been an important part of my life. She brought me up as her own and taught me a lot of life lessons. I wanted to share those with you as I continue to celebrate my grandma's life. If you look at the picture, can you guess her age? Well if you guessed sixty-five, you're absolutely wrong. If you guessed seventy, you're still wrong. My grandma will be turning eighty today. I'm still in awe of how healthy she has been my whole life and how nothing keeps her down. My grandma has been a shining example of living life to fullest and not letting anything stop you from living. My grandma raised me in a way that now, as an adult see more and more. I feel so fortunate.

My cousin Merica

My cousin Merica

Lesson One: You Are What You Are

The number one thing my grandma always taught me is that "you are what you are". What I mean by this is that people are all different and come in different shapes, sizes, from different places, follow different religions, etc. The thing is my grandma has never focused on these things about people. She simply accepted them for who they were. It didn't matter the race, creed, religion, or cultural beliefs. When one meets my grandma, you see that she is open to meeting you, kind, and for the most part, amiable. My grandma never upturned her nose or snubbed anyone that I've ever seen. In fact, she's always been the lady that greets you and smiles.

My grandma taught me that you should always try to speak to strangers, at least say hello. I didn't really get it, but as I've grown older I've found myself doing it. I speak to people in the grocery store and at the movies and it's like there's this awesome connection made. My grandma was so great about this, so casual. I'm so glad I learned this from her. I feel able to talk to anyone if I need to.

Lesson Two: If You Can't, You Can't

I used to be upset in my younger years when I really wanted to do something or make something happen. It would prove impossible and it would just devastate me. My grandma raised me with a reminder that "if you can't, you can't". Sometimes it's hard for us as people to accept that we're incapable of providing a service or deed for someone. Sometimes we can't make that wedding or visit that relative. My grandma always told me that sometimes you just can't make it or do it. It's not about being insincere but facing the truth. Sometimes you just can't. That idea has always been in my mind when I try to do so much and it doesn't work out. I couldn't do it, no matter how hard I tried. Instead of being devastated, I was able to move on much quicker, not mope about a failure. You do what you can. If you can't, you just can't. You can't beat yourself up about it. I think that's helped me so much as I've grown older.

My grandma's husband, Donald

My grandma's husband, Donald

Lesson Three: Treat Others Like You Want To Be Treated

There are people out there who treat others without regard of their feelings or what they've been through. My grandma has always taught me that you should never treat someone bad. You should always "treat people like you would want to be treated". This is the anthem of all parents, I think. Who doesn't teach this fundamental moral? So when I'm upset or angry, I calm myself. I use my words as best as I can and treat someone better despite my feelings. It's hard sometimes, but I'd like to think that those values that are instilled in me protect me making big mistakes.

My grandma has shown so much strength. Despite the strength of her heart, people have treated her badly, said terrible things to her. She doesn't flinch. She doesn't turn her back on anyone and she never uses a harsh tone or foul language. She continues to treat people like they should be treated in spite of how someone else is treating her. That shows a lot of strength and for me to see that has made me stronger. I strive to be an example just like she was to me.

My cousin Faris (left) my aunt Taffy and little cousin Jabari (center), and a neighbor

My cousin Faris (left) my aunt Taffy and little cousin Jabari (center), and a neighbor

Lesson Four: Family is Family

No matter how hard times get and how bad it may seem with a member of the family, it doesn't change one fundamental thing. "Family is family." There have been hard times when a family member was so upset that they wanted to leave the family, escape. My grandma couldn't have that. She had to correct the situation, make my family member realize that no matter what, they're still family. Sometimes times get hard and family is all you have. It doesn't matter what you're going through or the things you've done in the past. You're still family, we still love you.

When I came out to my grandma last year, I had this fear of her way of seeing me as changed. Though my imaginative thoughts came true. She was open with me and honest that I'm still her grandson and she still loves me. Who I am is who I am. She's been overwhelmingly supportive of me since then and I'm so glad to be a part of this lovely family!

My grandma relaxing

My grandma relaxing

Lesson Five: Have Patience

My grandma is never in a rush. She could wait in a long line without ever huffing or puffing. In fact, that major trait has rubbed off of me. I never cringe at the thought of waiting. In fact, I'm known for my patience when dealing with people and events. I think this patience of hers is so important. I never rush my life or get ahead of myself. I always take a steady pace and think things through. I'm not impulsive, I'm not seeking for a quick fix. I seek thoroughness beyond anything else.

It's so awesome the things that I've been taught. It seems only yesterday being taught them. The years have gone by, however, and I begin to realize how my grandma has truly affected me. She introduced me to Tolerance, Unconditional Love, Patience, and Hospitality. There's nothing more satisfying than knowing you had a good parent. I'm certain that my grandma has been a great parent to me and I'm so blessed to have her in my life.

Comments

AE Williams (author) from Atlanta, GA on September 05, 2014:

Thank you so much, Skye! It's so nice to hear that! :)

AE Williams (author) from Atlanta, GA on September 05, 2014:

Thank you Randall! I appreciate your feedback!

AE Williams (author) from Atlanta, GA on September 05, 2014:

Thanks Jackie! I appreciate that. My grandma DID NOT spoil me at all lol.

skye2day from Rocky Mountains on September 04, 2014:

Your grandma seems like a woman after Gods heart. She is an expression of love. We can only love because God loved us first. I adore your transparent heart and your grandmothers love. May Gods favor always shine on you and yours in all of your comings and comings and goings. The seed we plant returns back to us. God Bless you and yours. Love Skye

I read a few comments on my feed about your hub and I am touched to be here. Thank you for sharing the wisdom your grandma has passed on to many.

Randall Jonas from Canada on September 04, 2014:

It is important to honor our elders. Thanks for the touching post.

Jackie Lynnley from the beautiful south on September 04, 2014:

You were very lucky. Seems most people I know whose grandparent raised them are spoiled but I am sure you are not and have been taught great things of life from your grandmother. Great read. up and shared

Karen A Szklany from New England on June 13, 2013:

What a lovely hub. Brought back fond memories of my own, grandmother...who has always been an anchor for me, and has even been there to comfort me since her passing. Looking forward to reading more of your hubs about family.

AE Williams (author) from Atlanta, GA on April 24, 2013:

Thanks LA, I appreciate it!

AE Williams (author) from Atlanta, GA on April 24, 2013:

Thanks LA, I appreciate it!

LaThing from From a World Within, USA on April 23, 2013:

Awww, this is such a sweet hub! Your grandmother seems real cool.... It's wonderful to have a beautiful family around, and it seems like you have one of those wonderful, loving family! I never saw my grandmothers, from both sides of the family. They passed away before I was born. So, thanks for sharing your grandmother with me :)

Take care, buddy...... See you around!

AE Williams (author) from Atlanta, GA on April 11, 2013:

Thanks for that! I appreciate you :) Thanks for stopping by.

Sarah Carlsley from Minnesota on April 11, 2013:

Beautiful hub! It's truly amazing how much of an impact our grandparents have on us.

AE Williams (author) from Atlanta, GA on March 15, 2013:

Lisa!! Thanks a lot for reading this! I deeply love my grandma so it was so easy for me to write this. I think it was needed. I've never felt so appreciative of until now.

Lisa Chronister from Florida on March 15, 2013:

Wow, your grandmother seems like such an awesome person. In turn, from her lessons, you have grown into a wonderful person. This was such a well written tribute to a person ,who seems as if she has definitely earned a big bunch of praise!

AE Williams (author) from Atlanta, GA on March 13, 2013:

:) Thanks a lot Sue. I appreciate your comment and support. Yeah she has. I'm so glad she did.

Sueswan on March 13, 2013:

Hi Aubrey,

A wonderful tribute to your grandmother. She has instilled great values in you.

Voted up and away and sharing

AE Williams (author) from Atlanta, GA on March 08, 2013:

Thanks man! I appreciate you! Yeah she is pretty proud. :)

LJ Scott from Phoenix, Az. on March 08, 2013:

This is a beautiful hub Crazed, and what a fitting tribute, she must be proud of you...

AE Williams (author) from Atlanta, GA on February 16, 2013:

Hyphen! Thanks for the comment! I appreciate it. :)

AE Williams (author) from Atlanta, GA on February 16, 2013:

Thanks Eddy! I appreciate you!!

Brenda Barnes from America-Broken But Still Beautiful on February 16, 2013:

Your Grandma has true love in her heart. May she be blessed for it. Thank you for sharing her story with us and inspiring us all to emulate her example.

Eiddwen from Wales on February 16, 2013:

A wonderful read which I vote up,across and share all around.

Eddy.

AE Williams (author) from Atlanta, GA on February 15, 2013:

Amy my dear, you're just so good to me! Thanks so much for this awesome comment and overwhelming support. I am glad to call you my friend too! :)

Amy Becherer from St. Louis, MO on February 15, 2013:

Fantastic tribute to a truly beautiful woman. Her pragmatic, logic and love based philosophy has served her and her family well. Whether it's genetics or her accepting "it is what it is" attitude, she has the smoothest, most beautiful skin I've ever seen on an 80 year old woman, Aubrey. When I look at the photos you've included, I see a youthful, serene woman at peace with herself and those fortunate enough to know her. Thank you for sharing this awesome tribute to your grandmother, Aubrey. She certainly raised a fine, young man in you. I'm proud to call you my friend.

ologsinquito from USA on February 14, 2013:

Thanks to you too. Good luck to you on Hub Pages.

AE Williams (author) from Atlanta, GA on February 14, 2013:

Aww!! Thanks so much for this. I really appreciate it! :)

ologsinquito from USA on February 14, 2013:

What a nice tribute to your grandmother. You're so lucky she's alive, doing well and still a big part of your life.