The mentality of our society.
I read somewhere that - open your mind, the world will open - I just want to add two things to it - get out of the cowardly mentality, change your outlook, life will improve. Now, this promotion means different in the dictionary of each person. Life is improved after being a doctor, engineer, professor, teacher or getting a government job, or by having a good marriage - especially for girls, especially if the groom is living abroad -then she has the best marriage, no one can have a better life like her. This is our society, and this is where we have to live.
I think every human being should have his or her own identity - male or female. I am the son of such and such, I am the daughter of such and such, I am the wife of such and such, I am the mother of such and such- it feels better to hear from these when someone says- I am a singer, or I am a writer, or I am a guitarist, or I am a photographer, or I am a social worker, or I am a poet, etc. In our society, people want a government job after studying, otherwise, they blame the government. We need to remember that none of the people in the world who have made a name for themselves or reached the pinnacle of heroism have relied on government jobs. In fact, we can't think of anything more than conventional.
I know of many who work only to support their families- of course, he needs it, but he has no passion for it. Someone told me that his parents wanted him to be a doctor or an engineer, but he couldn't be a doctor, however, he is forced to work as an engineer, but he has no interest in his job, he actually wanted to be a photographer, but if that is the case, what will the family do or what will people say bigger than that, what will the neighbors say, what will the relatives say, it will be said that nothing happened and, in the end, he became a photographer. This is our society, and this is where we have to live. There is no right to live with passion here.
My society and me.
I remember when I was doing my M.A. another tenant woman living below, told me one day- madam you have such beautiful hair on your head but you study so much all day that I am afraid that your hair will not fall out at all. I stared in amazement for a while and then smiled and told her that I didn't know that studying at an older age causes all hair to fall out, thank you for taking care of my hair. This is our society, and we have to live in the middle of it.
I remember when I was doing my M.A., one of my daughter's teachers laughed when he heard this and said- at this age the M.A.? what else will happen in the fall, that is, people study for a good job or a good marriage, what is the need to study after that age? Our society cannot think outside of this stereotype mentality- whether it is educated or uneducated.
I know of a man who worked in a high position in a private company, with a hefty salary, suddenly, he quit his job because working was not his goal in life, music attracted him, his dream was to have a band of his own. He left the job without telling anyone in the house because if he said that, there would be unrest in the house. So, he would leave home during office hours to travel for his dream and enter the house during office hours. Thus, after a lot of hard work and perseverance, when his dream came true, then he informed his home. He also said that if I had not been successful then I would have had to start from scratch again because the bank balance was almost exhausted. Not everyone can take this risk to fulfill their dreams or passions. So many people nurture their passions or passions in addition to doing a job. I know someone, he would play the guitar in a band on the weekends, I know someone, he would go to a tennis academy whenever he had time because he dreamed of becoming a tennis player. In the harsh reality of life, dreams remain dreams.
Think outside the box
I know a lot of people who make so much money just by doing photography that it is beyond the imagination of a government employee. A poet who is still poor in our society, our society does not care about a writer. The mentality of people abroad but not so stereotyped, in a country like Australia the respect of a driver, the respect of a doctor is the same. It is a pity that our country has become a third world country because of this mentality of our society. And the biggest thing is that a large part of this society can never tolerate other people's improvement or doing something good, stay away from encouragement, even reluctant to praise. And that's probably why those who go abroad once they get out of this environment decide to stay there permanently because I think a healthy environment helps build people. According to them, people here will not let anyone rise but will push them further back. Of course, it is true that some people have exceptions, and for them, maybe some people from this country are trying to do something out of the ordinary or try to think or dream something.
What many may not know is that KFC Founder Colonel Harland Sanders started KFC - Kentucky Fried Chicken - at the age of 65. Now let me tell you how I got started. First of all, let's talk about housewives -. because the biggest problem for women is taking care of everything in the house, taking care of the baby, and making time for themselves. Some people say that after all the household works, there is no energy to do anything.
This is a few days ago, I talked to a friend of mine, who is a teacher by profession. I asked her about her experience as a teacher. She said, "look, I'm tired of teaching the same thing now. It's just that a regular school teacher earns a living." I asked - you have no passion or hobby? she said - I do not understand that. The condition of most Indian women is the same, they do not realize on their own whether they have any passion or hobby.
Dream versus reality.
I come from a conservative family, after graduation, I got married, I got married in a conservative family also. I didn't have time until my child was young, at least until her class-10. Since it was not possible for me to go out and work, leaving my child alone at home, I started doing private tuitions. In the meantime, wherever I've been, I've taught one student at a time, not more than one because I knew I couldn't spend that much time, but I wanted to have a practice of teaching and I also liked to teach. Since my daughter is in her teenage and very busy with her studies, I want to utilize my time that I am getting now. When my daughter was in class-12, she would leave for school at 8 in the morning and return from school at 5.30 in the evening. So, this time I got it for myself and started my MA course in distance learning from IGNOU. When my girl passed class-12, I also passed MA in 2019, December.
I was supposed to join a school as a teacher in April 2020, but in March 2020, the lockdown for the COVID-19 Pandemic began. The school I was supposed to join reported that they were no longer recruiting new teachers because of COVID-19. Then I was wondering what to do. At that time I started searching online for how to start a career with my own passion from home. I started watching various YouTube videos and learned a lot. First, I started teaching online, then I started writing blogs and the pleasure I get from writing is not found in anything else.
How I have prepared myself
As much as I could spare for myself, I read a variety of books, in my daughter's coaching class, in her dance class - wherever I sat, I used to go on social media on the phone and try to know a lot because there is a lot to know outside of bibliography, and I used to write in my diary, sometimes I would share those writings on social media, among my friends. The habit of writing the diary, of course, was for my missionary school, where we had a task for Saturday - a full description of what we do all-day from Monday to Friday in a diary - and it had to be submitted on Saturday. In this way, I used to write a lot from my mind. No matter where I went, the whole diary page would fill up.
An inevitability is born in those who read many storybooks. I heard a famous writer who became famous only by writing travelogues, he never traveled in his life, but just read books, looked at pictures and listened to other people's stories. Nowadays, it is much easier, a lot of information can be found by clicking on the search button on the phone. The most difficult is - research writing, in research writing people read the research writings of their predecessors, do various researches and make a draft of their own writing, because not all information is available everywhere, and not all information is accurate, so it should be written only after verifying their authenticity, know what you are going to write about, because the reader may ask you questions. While writing blogs, I learned a lot, if I am going to share, that would be another history.
However, another real thing is that people who have a lot of passion, then it is a matter of thinking about what passion to pursue. After watching many motivational videos, I also experimented with them. I found out that the passion that will make you feel tired after a while is no longer present in you. So, in this lockdown I did various experiments with myself - what I love to do – dancing, singing, online teaching, cooking, etc. But after a while I got tired - then I realized that these passions are no longer present in me. But after writing for so long, I still can't explain what I enjoy writing. Since my girl is a student, there is always a learning environment at home, with my girl, the study goes on till 2 or 3 o'clock at night. I also learned some graphic design from my girl, there is a lot to learn, to know in the world outside of biblical knowledge.
Another one is interior designing - so that my constant attraction. When you load a house with expensive furniture, you call it interior designing- no, it is not true. My landlords used to say in the rented houses that I have enhanced the beauty of their house. But since I did not study this subject, I took a certificate course from Alison in this lockdown, for which I also learned to do video editing. I have patiently prepared myself in this way to go ahead with these two passions. In short, I am not wasting time, every moment of life is precious, so it should be put to good use. If I had to leave the world without knowing all this, I would have been left with regret, but now there is no regret.
On staying hopeful
In conclusion, I encourage the good deeds of others, whether one likes me or not, it instills positivity in oneself. One more thing, living with one's own passion is not called ambition - passion and ambition are two completely different words, different meanings. One of my girlfriends, Priya, takes care of her family, takes care of her child and sends me beautiful paintings within the time she can, it’s her passion, I share them regularly on my social media status. Can't we make the world beautiful by appreciating each other's good deeds?
© 2021 Tulii Banerjee