How Do You Deal With Neglect; Being Shunned and Overlooked?
How many times have you heard, oh, if only, and this one: if I had this or that, things would be better? At one time or the other, I've heard both phrases, and depending on the physical pain I suffer from Fibromyalgia, these phrases can cause me to turn sick. I am just trying to be diplomatic.
Now on Other
days, I am fine if "fine" means that I do not cause anyone any trouble or cause them to trip and fall two stories, that is my definition of my being "fine."
If you want to break from reading, I have a suggestion: look at the photo above and look at carefully. First, count the number of people in the photo. Second, pick out the person whom the others had rather see them heading for home. Not easy, is it?
Some Psychological games are designed to "not" be easy. I remember several years ago, I was told by one of my doctors, to "take our test" and we will evaluate your input in Society. I was really excited. I was so anxious to take the test until I read the first question, "are you happy, happier or happiest when you are alone in a room?" Now, you go and answer "this" question. I answered "happier" and when the doctor gave me the test score, I looked and found that I had failed the first question. But my life was still the same. So my wife and I gave our thanks to the doctor and went to eat.
See How Cleverly
I lead you to continue read, but keep in mind the question about me and the three congutation of my being happy.
For me, being shunned by obviously-friendly people and relatives have always been real problems for me. I have tried several ways to cope with these attacks, for lack of a better word, and I have read several papers with the writer having a certain degree of Psychology that I thought might be of help to me. I failed, but got up, relaxed and continued my quest to find out about "happy" in just the present tense being fine by me.
I want to share two situations that will cover how sometimes I have been shunned and the other situation about how I was purposely neglected. Both, to the people with average IQs, can be very discomforting.
One time while sitting in a doctor's waiting room, two patients, one on each side of me, were having a conversation in front of my own two eyes. After a reasonable length of time, I said: "excuse me. If you like, I will sit somewhere else and let you two have more ease to continue talking." One of these people replied somewhat sharply, "did you say something?" That person and the other person and myself looked at each other and they continued to talk. Figure this one out, gang. Would you think that what happened to me was the "talkers" shunning me?
The second event was rather hurtful, but not on my part. Several years ago, I was attending a family reunion and after I had made my rounds to speak to all of those I knew and introduced some relatives who I didn't know, but introduced myself to them, I sat down in the middle of a group of close relatives and just sat and listened to all in the group contribute on the one topic that they were talking about.
Prior to me sitting down, all in this group smiled and asked (using my first name) how I was doing, but in the next half-hour, I had somehow disappeared. I was not going to blurt out something of interest to the subject being discussed, and since the people were my seniors, I showed them courtesy and respect and in that half hour, I was not asked to talk about anything the group obviously were well-versed in what they were talking about, and no one even as much pretended to be friendly to me. I became quite anxious. I felt a panic attack coming on, so I started doing some shallow breaths not to cause a stir among the conversationalists. I didn't know whether to stay or go somewhere else or just head for home. I was scared. Really scared.
Would you label me in "this" situation as being shunned, overlooked, or neglected? You can only name one. (Aren't you thrilled that I used Real Life situations?)
Speaking of all of these feelings of being shunned, neglected, or overlooked, everyone has felt these things at one or the other. I have and still do at times even right now. So I am asking YOU, how would you have handled my Two situations? I am really serious. I want your input.
Thank you for taking time to read my narrative and I look forward to reading how you feel.