Skip to main content

Haystacks of America, I Love You

I was born in the south. I live in the south and will die in the south. This is only a small part of the memories I share.

How Haystacks Are Born.

I Wonder Many Times Why

the humble haystack has never been given the true credit that it deserves. This is the work of some envious Hay Bales and their farmers who conspired to hog the credit to all of the press outlets including all of the farm magazines, to phase-out our friend, the haystack. What else could have happened?

There it was, not hurting anyone, not even the nest of pack rats who lived in it's shocks and straw and never "ratted them out," pardon the pun. A haystack, and I mean, a real haystack, is arguably the farmer's best buddy. And a carelessly-thrown, still lit cigarette butt its worst enemy. Still, the haystack, no matter who came up with it first, prevails.

There are simply not enough stories and film projects that can aptly-describe the worth of the haystack. Well that would take years upon years to tell the story about the haystack. But has any haystack complained and whimpered? No. The haystacks are made from a fiber that nothing short of a locust swarm could take it down. The haystack. The guardian of every field planted by its farmer friend. And in the early fall, the hay from which the haystack is produced, is harvested either by hand or machine and no matter how it is hauled in, nothing is as beautiful as the sunshine's penetrating rays highlighting its every strand of pure hay which was only a hayseed. (No pun about country people intended.)

A Pretty Girl And A Haystack: Pure Americana.

A Pretty Girl And A Haystack: Pure Americana.

I Can Tell You The First Time

that I met a haystack. My family and I were living in a big farmhouse where my dad share-cropped the lands surrounding our home. At harvest time, the hay was baled, stacked, and I was so drawn-to the haystack, I found myself digging deep into the golden mountain of beautiful hay and when I reached the very bottom, I fell asleep which was so easy because it was so warm and cozy while in the middle of this wonderful creation.

Most non-farming people do not know that haystacks has always had to "take a backseat" to the regular hay bale. If there were any envy between a haystack and hay bale, it would come from that relationship, but no one has ever heard how the friendy haystack feels toward the "glory hog," the hay bale. Hey, I am not going to lie about this shaky relationship. I am only trying to defend the poor, forlorn haystack.

And among the things that people thought that they knew about haystacks, these people have never had a clue about why the master painter, Norman Rockwell, used the haystack on many of his farm-related scenes. Truly, I think that Rockwell had a secret adoration for the haystack that stemmed from his love during his boyhood days, and like me, grew to fall in love with each haystack that he met. No one, including the late John "Duke" Wayne, could attain to this legendary fact.

In the past few years, TV fans were used to talk about the CBS Television Network's most-successful sitcom, which rivaled that of "The Andy Griffith Show," and this show was: Hee Haw. Yes, and only the true fan of this long-running show will remember viewing the scene with the show's various stars telling jokes while they sat in, you guessed it, a beautiful haystack. Speaking of Hee Haw, there was this one girl, Misty Rowe, who to me, was THE prettiest, most-talented entertainer on Hee Haw or any sitcom coming down the pike. I know that if you have followed my writing, you might have thought that Misty Rowe was a made-up name, but the photo is on this hub and you can find her information on WikiPedia.

Misty Rowe On Hee Haw Promo.

The Amount Of Romantic Moments

can and never will be counted or recalled. I am not a Hee Haw expert, but you have to be given to your common sense and know that during the takes on this giant-of-a-show, with all of the pretty girls, that one, maybe many, of the guys on this series, took the opportunity to tell Misty and Sunshine Cornsilk, just how much he loved these two girls. I cannot prove it, but then again, I cannot prove that it didn't.

But realistically-speaking, the haystack is arguably the BEST place for romance than that of a Gondola ride in Italy. Not even the smoothest-singing, Gondollier would even try to compete with the haystack. Do not try to find out what I mean, because those with higher I.Q.'s, Ph.D's, and noted writers have inspected the roots and existence of haystacks and have failed to know what makes them tick, so to speak. All that I do know is true, in my single days, how I would have loved to took the pretty girl who I was dating to a golden haystack where I could talk to her and hold her hand while she and I basked in the sunshine and feel of the hay that we were sitting on. Makes me very depressed to go there.

Children, I can recall, were always prone to play their magical games in and around the haystack. The haystack could act as a magic castle and the kids could act as a king, queen, and knight and the game was on. Even pro-wrestling, (the TV kind), had a wrestler by the name of Haystack Calhoun. So you can understand the vast-importance that is connected to the haystack and why it has never ceased to be such a special fixture in our country

To the beautiful haystacks, I salute you all. And I promise that when my wife and I are out and about and ride past some of those beautiful haystacks, "we" will stop, be kids once more, and give ourselves to our imagination, and to the haystack.

June 25, 2019_________________________________________________

Haystack Calhoun (middle)  with Mario Milano and Tex McKenzie in 1971.

Haystack Calhoun (middle) with Mario Milano and Tex McKenzie in 1971.

© 2019 Kenneth Avery

Related Articles