Kenneth is a rural citizen of Hamilton, Ala., and has begun to observe life and certain things and people helping him to write about them.
And Why Should Halloween
be “just” for the children? I m not trying to be harsh toward kids or animals, it is just something happened to Halloween so many eons ago when Red Riding Hood made the scene and then it wasn’t too much longer until Red was making films, starring on stage on Broadway until finally, there was almost an upheaval among older, senior Americans whether it was prudent for our nation to cast Little Red Riding Hood in the same light as George Washington at Valley Forge? Of course no such secret whispering campaign happened because the senior Americans were already retired with fortunes made so why go to war against the Fed’s against some kiddie heroine who fights-off a Jeckle and Hyde entity from a vile old wolf to a sickly granny, but we all know that the wolf was no idiot. He did almost pull-off the con of the century by almost pulling the wool over Red’s pretty blue eyes and do to her what he did to granny. And this was when I was eight years of age.
Talk much like dust dies down. So did the mild rebellion that was never planned to replace our gorgeous bald eagle as Little Red Riding Hood, or to the Hip, Hop Generation, Lil’ Red to The Hood. I like that. I am so very grateful that our fabulous bald eagle is still flying high and well, Little Red Riding Hood is still active in films, (2011 Amanda Seyfried and Shiloh Fernandez), and I would not be surprised if Red does not have her own talk show some time in a daytime slot opposing Oprah and all of the judges, Judy and all. It could work.
Now I Have to Tell You
this story that happened to me several years ago. I remember “some” buzz being thrown-about the news that raised a few eyebrows, but other than that, we just carried on. I did. And it was not until a day or so ago that I ran into a young woman whom I have swore that she (some years ago) was dressed in this vintage costume of Red Riding Hood. You got it. Red Riding Hood, you know? With the granny, wolf, and woodsman? What an intriguing fairy tale. When I was a lad of seven, maybe eight, I can remember listening to this program on our local AM radio station, WERH, Hamilton, Al., which lasted for over 75 years until it folded last year and their broadcasting was gone. Sad if you want to know the truth. Over the years, a lot of their employees and I were good, coffee-drinking friends through thick and then. Sad, to say the least.
The story I am referring to about “some” buzz was running into a real-life Little Red Riding Hood. For sure. A real girl. No Lil’ Red to The Hood. A girl whom I knew and found again at this Halloween party that my wife and I went to just kill time. (pardon the pun.)
There was popcorn being popped, eating, and just rambling small talk and plenty of laughter to make this Halloween get-together complete. As for the costumes, let’s see . . .there was Lone Ranger; Tonto; The Untouchables; Fantastic Four and Hulk of course, and I have to hand it to these Halloween disguise creators that they all did a marvelous job. Me? I was n some get-up like Charlie Chaplin (Little Tramp) and my wife was “Lily Munster,” (the lovely Yvonne DeCarlo) and she, my wife, was looking quite alluring and I told her this numerous times because I meant it.
As B.B. King sang, "Thrill's Gone"
when my wife and I sat down enjoying soda’s and potato chips, when this one gal who was wearing a Little Red Riding Hood costume came gracefully-floating in our direction, and at first, I paid no attention. I had never met Red Riding Hood, so maybe she was simply looking for a dance partner, so I drank some more soda and crunched a few more chips. Seemed like the right thing to do.
“Do you know that girl?” my wife who is very inquisitive, asked.
“Nope. Never met her in my life,” I answered. “She does have a cute costume.” And I mean this. The ‘cute costume’ phrase was all that I said and at the time did not think it meant trouble.
By now, the Red Riding Hood girl, looked like a natural blonde, was within three feet from us and then she smiled, and nodded at my wife, then sat down on my right side. I froze. Most of you men would do the same. I was not in any mood for flirting or any road that might be taken. All I wanted was for my wife and I to attend this Halloween party because someone invited us, and then head home.
I Began to Feel Very Nervous
as she began to put her head on my right shoulder and softly say, that she had been looking for a man like me for years. I checked her breath, (No I am not a state trooper), and she was sober as a country judge in Georgia. But she would not stop. On and on she kept saying a few somewhat suggestive things that really made my wife upset and me very on edge.
I asked the girl in a firm voice who she was and she giggled and kept her face hidden. My wife who had been to enough parties knew when it was time to go, got me by the arm and we tried to get up and get out of this place—simply to stay out any trouble or embarrassment.
Our host, a great guy named Gary, came over to where we were negotiating with Red Riding Hood if we might leave without any problem? Then the girl got to determined as she reached behind my back and yanked my right arm back to her and I almost fell. Gary was now upset and my wife was getting ready to leave. And I was already dreading the verbal battle that was waiting for me when we arrived back home.
Gary tried to explain and he did the role of Master of Halloween Pranks and told the girl to take off her mask. And then she uncovered her face . . .it was none other than his wife, Elizabeth, for about 22 years and very happy. Both Gary and Elizabeth were good friends, but Gary, who loved practical jokes, said that he just had to pull a good joke on us, but he meant me. Then he apologized to my wife.
Incidentally, what I found out about Elizabeth’s Little Red Riding Hood’s costume was the costume looked every bit like a professional had designed it. I also noticed that the costume moved with Elizabeth with little or no effort and as for looks, what do you think? The equation is this: Elizabeth was a knock-out of a girl and when she was wearing the Red Riding Hood Costume (acceptable adult fashion), she looked even more gorgeous. Of course, I did not tell her that or Gary might not have liked that.
I will leave this uncomfortable confession: if I ever would want to be Red Riding Hood, I would definitely wear the adult female version of what Elizabeth wore.
Now my wife broke down into convulsive laughter and now I knew that even my wife had been playing her own joke on me and I took it. I never tried to say that she, Gary or Elizabeth were to blame and I even gave them a great compliment for engineering such as slick joke.
And all because Elizabeth chose to wear the Little Red Riding Hood costume. I remember seeing Elizabeth long after the Halloween prank and we sat for a moment, talked and laughed. I even told her that I had admired her name for years, but never told her. She looked stunned. Her face was red like a Texas tomato.
It seemed like half an hour passed. Then she said while her voice was trembling, “Ken? Uhh, why are you . . .”
I interrupted. Perfect timing. My face was pure stone-faced.
“Elizabeth, remember the Red Riding Hood costume?”
Winked, smiled, and walked away.
October 3, 2019_____________________________________________________
© 2019 Kenneth Avery