EVER WANT TO JUST DISAPPEAR AND NEVER BE FOUND?
My first thought was how could I run away and never be found. The first thing that came to mind was to move to a homeless shelter. Being homeless would be a perfect smoke screen for me to disappear. I imagined that I'd move in, a total stranger among strangers and start to meet people and maybe change my whole personality and see if it works.
I am not really homeless, but if I could get into a pretty okay shelter, maybe I could begin my process of disappearing and going under the radar. I don't have a job, and am on Social Security so money would not really be a problem. Most of those in my life past and present hated me so no tears lost there. I was damn sure I could pull this off. Why not a homeless shelter? They are usually in the middle of a big urban environment and others there are on the same path as I would be, so why not?
How could I pull this off and change my life and be a non-person. I wouldn't need rent money, food money or even references. Just go and live and mind my own business while I worked on my new identity. Maybe I could even write a story or book about it.
I could get settled in and wile away the hours on my bunk in a dorm like setting and just plan how I could further disappear and not be found. I believe there is some little speck of something in my mind that wants to go away and not be found. Not for a crime, or some bad thing, but more just to start again and see if it's me doing the damage or other humans. I'd be thrown in with all the rabble -- good and bad and ugly. And being with the low people on the totem pole would help me forget my old life and maybe emerge like a phoenix to the new way of life. Looking ahead could be meaningless until I found myself, or my second self.
There is a way to do it right. Here's what you could try.
Go to the local library and ask for a news paper that has your date of birth on it and look for someone who had died on that same day. It could\ work in these techno times, no harm in trying it.
Next you try for a new birth certificate using that name. Lots of people have done that with great success. And lots of folks lose their birth certificates all the time. After you secure the birth certificate you can apply for a social security card.
You can also get a student card with your photo and use that to set up a new bank account. I'm sure you can find two forms of new ID's to do this. Think on your feet. Once the account is set up, you can do virtually anything else to fortify your new life. Even get credit cards, a driver’s license, then just do the usual things like change your hair and style, gain weight.
The next step is to find a big metro area where you can blend in and rent a cheap apartment if you can't get into a shelter. Then you just disappear and start over. It sounds simple enough, but some of these techniques may not work in today's modern society, so you may have to use your head to find a way to make it happen according to this year and time.
It won't be easy to simply disappear and just walk away from your old life and never look back. But it must get easier the more you climb into that situation, depending on how badly you want this. So many folks are just zipping away from bad marriages, bad debt, bad lives or IRS problems, some things even worse. For me, it would be to rub out wrought emotions of hateful family, a boyfriend, a husband, people that shunned me, a whole host of reasons.
I try to imagine a clean blackboard on the first day of school. That would garner a sort of new heaven for me, especially if all the baggage of my life can be dumped and forgotten. Imagine it all being dumped in the river of no return without a paddle. Leave it all behind hidden in a sewer or in the woods where I used to hide as a child wanting to run away.
Don't let the thought of it ever disappear from your mind. Look around at different areas and imagine you living there incognito. Ask yourself, "would this place be the place of no return of my life? My name? My old ways?" Think also of "will I be found out, would someone see me and know who I am?" Think of yourself as a little bug being swallowed by a big can of Raid, and the whirlwind around you.
I've seen countless Lifetime movies of women and men disgusted with their lives of a trapped marriage or finding out their mate cheated and had been for years. So a secret identity seemed possible. But planning stages must be implemented. Think of it like a TV show about yourself and it will come easier with every step you manage to pull off to disappear. You could easily, with a bit of whit and smarts, simple go away and melt into some new land. Standing on the street as you one minute and the next you are standing in your new life, whether that be in a homeless shelter or a hotel in the middle of nowhere.
See it in your mind's eye, a new way, a new identity. Find yourself away from the rat race you left, maybe built of your own accord, but easy to leave and start over again. You'll deal with the questions that all of us think about at the end of the forked road ... "What am I? Who Am I? What am I doing? Where am I going and where will I end up?" Generate new people in your life. People you can care about all over again. Have new goals to hope for, new ambitious ideas about your new life. Get it down on paper before you even leave on your adventure.
Then you must go over certain things that will bother you still when you start your new life. Mental baggage is one thing. Wondering about what your old life is doing when you are in your new life. These would be like anchors holding you back. Once you begin your journey, there may be no going back. It sounds so exciting, doesn't it. You climb the big wall of life but then you may realize "OMG that is some tall wall."
Try wrapping your head fully around the idea of disappearing into some new city or encampment or shelter and using your wits to satisfy your basic needs first, get established, find new friends, fit in. And finally, living your life as it is given to you. This way may make it easy for you to adjust.
Many want to untangle themselves from the riffraff of the old life you led and fall into the mask of the new life you've created. Try and live simply, drop the crap to the side of the road. And not just mental, but also concrete life. It's not easy to just throw it all away. Emotional, mental, what's true to your old life, old habits don't die, they just take on new life with a new life.
Just reach for ambitions you've never reached for ever. Think of your new future and leave the anxiety for the rest of the crowd to ponder. Some may say you are a coward, like when you kill yourself. This way you can be cowardly and still have your life and be breathing. Remember to BE FREE. As Jesus preached, "...drop everything, your money, your job, your world, and follow me!"
Try and visualize yourself in a new painting, a new person, a new identity. Be truly that person under the radar. The old responsibilities can be absolved and taken care of easily. Go to a country or place that you can live very cheaply, where no one knows you and live on nothing for awhile. Practice dropping any connections you had in your old past and focus on gaining new connections. That is your goal. Be detail oriented, you'd be surprised how fast you will slip like a new suit into your underground life.
Think of the John Denver tune "Leaving on A Jet Plane". Memorize the lyrics, play the song in your head, on the radio, whatever... It can be any song that would invoke your goal of being a no one, a nomad or "personaliss" Be a personaliss of mystery or pretend you are like James Bond 007. Live it, dream it, love it and embrace it. Anything in life is possible if you put your mind to it.
Let me know if it works for you. Contact me here at Hubpages. I would be so curious to see if it worked for both of us. I plan on trying soon. Good luck. By the way, this article will self destruct in 10 seconds, so you know your mission, go to it.
Leslie Siegel (author) from Albuquerque, NM on August 19, 2019:
Maybe you can just try it and leave for a few weeks, just to see how it is, then come get your kids. I'm about to use it soon. Good luck and God Speed.
John on August 09, 2019:
I wish I could. If I didn't have children, I'd be long gone.