Grief is a process everyone goes through no matter what you are grieving for.
A Beloved Resting Place For Buffy
Buffy and Baxter My Two Most Loved Cats
February 11th 2019 will be a day I will never forget. My sweet 18 and a half year old cat Buffy was laid to rest. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make but I refused to let her suffer.
Buffy was born July 7th 2000. She lived in a cage the first three months of her life in a pet store. I was looking for a kitten but it had to be a rescue. I went to Pet Smart and there were plenty of kittens but Buffy stood out because she was a Calico and had beautiful markings. I asked them why no one had claimed her because she was indeed a beautiful cat. They told me no one could hold her.
In my heart I knew she was the one. I told them I would take her. I never saw anyone box up a cat so fast and out the door we went.
When I got home of course she was scared so she ran to the kitchen and under the counters. I left her food, water and a litter box and went to bed. All of a sudden I heard her meowing constantly.
I got up to see what was wrong and she ran back to the kitchen again. So I decided to lay on the couch. In a few minutes I heard her meowing but I laid still. She began to circle the room getting closer to me each time. When she finally got close enough I reached out and pet her. She began to purr. It was then I knew she was home.
Buffy was never the kind of cat that wanted to be picked up. She was happy just laying next to you or in your lap of her choosing the time to be petted.
That was the entire issue of her not getting adopted because people were trying to hold her instead of giving her a chance to be herself. She lived in a crate from birth so she didn't really know human interaction. I didn't let that idea keep me from adopting her. Not all cats like to be held.
She Loved Our Iguana Anastasia
Animals Are Part of Our Families
Anyone who truly loves their animals knows they are our children. When I noticed Buffy was not eating I started giving her canned food which she loved. It had always been one of her favorite things that was a treat.
Now that I knew she could not eat dry food anymore, I decided to give her wet food in hopes that she would eat it.
I knew that day was coming that we would have to say goodbye because she stopped eating and within a few days she lost control of her bladder. The pain that stabbed my heart at that moment would never be the same.
It was late at night and the only Vets that were open was the Emergency Room Vets. When I put her in her cat carrier she never made a sound. Buffy hated being in the cat carrier and would meow the whole time. But not this time. That stabbed my heart even harder because at that moment I knew it was time.
The vet was rude and wanted me to spend 500 dollars on blood work and I said no I am not doing that for it to end up in the same outcome. She sent the Vet Tech in with an estimate what it would cost for the labs and I told her no I can't do that.
Once she knew I was serious about not wanting to put my cat through a bunch of nonsense to end up the same way they gave me time to say goodbye.
I picked her up for the last time and snuggled her, told her I was sorry and that I loved her. My sweet furry friend who had given me such love for 18 and a half years was going to the rainbow bridge.
The vet came in and very snippety explained the procedure. As I watched the life leave my girls eyes I felt a sense of peace that she would never suffer a day in her life. The vet informed me she had an 18 year old cat and I said I hope you do the right thing by her.
I was so pissed off about the way I was treated. She could never know the sorrow that filled my heart at that moment. She could never know that I did this out of love for my beloved Buffy. She could never know the ride home with a cardboard box with my deceased cat in it would be the longest ride of my life. No one could know how I felt.
The vet techs told me I did the right thing and I know I did but it was still the hardest decision I had to make in my life.
The Rainbow Bridge
The Greiving Process
Sadness, guilt and anger are all things we feel as we grieve a loss. Whether it be a human or an animal.
I felt like I had failed her. I didn't realize she was not eating dry food. We have six cats and she always came for treats so I assumed she was eating the dry food until one day I picked her up and felt that she had lost weight.
I felt anger, guilt and sadness all at the same time.
I still feel all of those after all this time.
We laid my sweet Buffy to rest in our back yard, planted a Palm tree over her grave and I planted some flowers. Some how that seemed like closure. I go there at times and clean out the weeds and cry and ask myself why.
These feelings are normal. They will probably be in my heart for a long time. It's a great loss. I have never had to put an animal to sleep before. It was a new experience for me.
But still I grieve. I cry and wish I still had my sweet girl. She had a meow like no other. She was one of a kind and even though we have 5 other cats it wasn't the same.
The Last Touch
She Will Forever Live In My Heart
No matter how the years pass, she will live in my heart. I will think about her at times and still cry. My sweet girl.
I had to fill that void in my heart so I adopted another cat. She will never be my sweet Buffy but she surely helped me through this tough time. Penny was sent to me. She loves to be hugged and loved and talks non stop.
My husband and I will always have recues. They are the ones that need us the most. If you want to find love in your life, adopt a shelter animal. They will always give you unconditional love.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Cheryl A Whitsett (author) from Jacksonville, Fl on May 05, 2019:
Thank You Shyron
Shyron E Shenko on May 05, 2019:
Cheryl, this is sad and I cried because I thought of my little Chipper and how he would not eat when I had him boarded a few days last month.
I feel so bad for you and how much you can love a pet. My sympathies to you.
Cheryl A Whitsett (author) from Jacksonville, Fl on May 05, 2019:
Thank you Lorna
Lorna Lamon on May 05, 2019:
It's so heartbreaking when our pets pass away and I believe that taking time to grieve them is so important. This is such a touching article Cheryl and brought back memories of our 13 yr old dog 'Brucie' who sadly had a heart condition. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and still tugs at my heart strings whenever I think of him. Thank you for sharing such a personal article.