Katie doesn’t have any experience with this topic—that’s why she’s opening up to all of you in hopes of learning more!
We’ve all heard “good things take time.” As kids were told not to wish our lives away. Or maybe that was just me since I was the epitome of 13 going on 30. We are told not to grow up too fast and to stay young while we can. Of course, we never appreciate that advice until we’re on the other side of it, wishing we were young with little responsibility. When we are younger everything seems like such a big deal and everything moves so quickly around us—friendships, relationships, whether or not we made the team…it all seems so important, yet it’s constantly ever-changing.
Similar qualities creep in to our adult lives but just for different reasons and with different focal points. As adults, and maybe I’m speaking from my own experience as a young adult (I will probably always consider myself young even when I’m 100, just so you know), we know we have responsibilities and priorities that actually are big deals. Our relationships and friendships depend on us in various aspects. And we don’t want to let them down.
Maybe it’s just me and my own personal battles, but I feel like we don’t talk enough about ‘time’ and expectations as young adults. It feels like there’s a point where it just flips and you’re expected to have a family, career, house, the whole nine yards. All of a sudden people start saying, “it’s time to grow up.” And they say this as a response to all sorts of behaviors so what does that really mean?
Part of me thinks it’s rooted in jealousy. Some people have had to “grow up” quicker than others. I respect that we all have different life experiences. I mean, hello, it’s inevitable that we will have different experiences.
But let’s think about this differently. Instead of ”growing up,” what if we just said “grow?“ Adding the ‘up’ connotation implies that we’re currently lesser than. (Ok, funny story real quick about ‘up.’ One of my southern phrases that my husband hates is, “Hey, will you go put that up for me?” He doesn’t understand that it means “put that away“ and so then I find all my things on the highest shelves around the house and can never reach them!)
I’m thinking back to the first line of today’s blog - good things take time. Another connotative cliche that, to me, implies if I’m patient and wait, good things will come my way. I can compare this to another cliche, “slow and steady wins the race.” But we all know in that story of the tortoise and the hare, the tortoise still walked. It didn’t wait at the starting line for the hare to get tired so it could win by default. It did its due diligence in the way that it could. It tried and with time, its efforts paid off.
What if we had told the tortoise to speed up? Speed up to what? That implies a comparison to the hare whose capabilities are clearly different.
So, I guess what I’m getting at is acknowledging good things take more than just time. It takes persistence and failure and determination to try again. Saying that “it’s time to grow up” shows a rather closed minded perspective on what adulthood looks like. You’re “good things” may be a family, house, and career. Another persons “good things” may be a 6 dogs, in a yurt, in the desert, with no 9am-5pm career because they’re self-sufficient and living off the land.
What’s consistent is that neither one of those incredible life paths just happened over night. Heck, maybe they did and for that…kudos! But I’d bet 90% of the time it was a choice that again, took more than just time.
This blog actually came from me having to call Mom last week. I keep burning my pork chops because I’m cooking them on too high of heat. “But I want them to be done faster,” I said. She just laughed at me because we both know that’s simply not how it works.
If we encourage people to be at a certain place in life with certain expectations at a certain time, we risk burning them in the process.
Good things take time.