Looking At Our Friends, The Gorillas
This is One Tough Hub
to write. I do that sometimes, jump on a subject without really stretching myself in studying my subject, but with enough sweat and coffee, I persevere. I am not boasting, but very blessed of God to sit here and present such subjects for your educational background and for your comic existence.
For the record, gorillas are ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous apes that inhabit the forests of central Sub-Saharan Africa. The genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas (both critically endangered), and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95 to 99% depending on what is included, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.
But I have to back-track and ask: are human beings the last link of evolution? Just look. What else is out there besides us mortals? And why does the mother gorilla's still giving birth to their male or female gorilla children? I know that I may be starting a range fire with that one question, but I did ask it with all respect to our friends, the gorilla.
The Two Gorilla’s That I Loved
“Herbie,” who “Milburn Drysdale,” Banker at Commere of Beverly Hills, hired the gorilla to satisfy the needs for the Hillbillies. But upon “Herbie” going to live with the “Hill Clan,” things did not go as “Herbie” had been told by Drysdale. The funniest part of the scene where “Granny Clampett,” put “Herbie” in jail near their Cement Pond to teach it a lesson, but as soon as Granny’s back was turned, “Herbie” smashed her head with his huge gorilla right hand—giving her a headache that lasted for the rest of the day.
The other gorilla that I fell in-love with instantly: “Bernie,” the huge, beautiful black gorilla who befriended “Griffin Keys“ aka/Kevin James “Doug Heffernan,” King of Queens. The voice of “Bernie” was Nick Nolte talked for him in the film. Garon Mitchell worked inside the wonderful gorilla suit for “Bernie.”
The climax of this great film was the final frames, when “Griffin,” with the assistance of “Bernie,” helped “Griffin” win back his girlfriend, “Kate,” played by Rosario Dawson, who also worked at the zoo with “Keys” Just think, and I know that this film was only a fantasy, but it could be that (a) gorilla is just waiting for me in my life and may help me to achieve some sort of reality of a few dreams that are still left to come true.
But I have to say that between the two gorillas, “Herbie,” and “Bernie,” whom I loved both, I would have to take “Herbie,” as my number one gorilla with “Bernie,” coming in with a scorching-second place.
Why I Love Gorillas
is not that hard to understand, but in order for you to understand my love for these majestic beasts is to study the cousins of the gorilla: the chimpanzees Recess monkeys; the Howler monkeys and the very-photogenic orangutan (e.g. “Clyde,” who was Clint Eastwood’s co-star in “Every Which Way But Loose.) Still . . .I love the gorillas.
And if you recall Jane Goodall, the “Guru of Gorillas,” then she and I understand the gorilla a lot better than the average citizen. To some citizens, a gorilla may look at them without an emotion, but with Goodall and my cases, “we” see the gorilla as a Work of Higher Intelligence, because gorillas not only mimic “us” almost to the letter, but gorillas spend hours upon hours each day for just thinking. That’s right. Thinking, and if you and I were a gorilla, and knew that we were second to the human beings on the Food Chain, then we would be thinking also.
And if we, the gorillas, knew that one of us were the leader of the gorilla clan, then the responsibilities of taking care of “our” adoring gorilla fans, can be a daunting task. Tasks such as leading them to food sources, water, and shelter ideas. To say nothing about those horrible low-life poachers who do not have a conscience concerning the taking of the innocent gorillas’ and their lives to just make a buck for themselves. I will say this with very planned words: I believe that when our animals, who were created by God, and these thugs take innocent lives of the tiger, elephant, and gorilla, there is a special place in the Lake of Fire for such vermin.
What Would I do if I Were to Raise
a pet gorilla? First and foremost I would try and figure out how I would feed my baby gorilla, whom some powerful nation in Europe let me adopt it with the permission of our U.S. State Department. Believe me. Feeding any beast, including the gorilla is very tough anywhere in the world.
I would try and gain permission from some caring landowners to allow my pet gorilla to be let free in the forest land in order for the gorilla to munch on tree leaves, bark, roots, and the grass below their feet. There is hardly enough greenery for baby gorillas and in my case as caretaker, I would be hard-pressed when it came to having to pay rent to the landowners for this privilege of feeding my gorilla.
When my gorilla wasn’t dining, I would spend some of our down-time and try to teach the gorilla a few tricks such as: doing push-up’s; Jumping Jacks; Running in place and playing Simon Says, or Kenny Says, forget that one. No gorilla in their right mind would follow my instructions.
But in all honesty, I would try to raise my gorilla to be respectful toward other animals and humans who lived around him, or her as the case might be. To me, this trait, respect for others and animals, is a rare commodity in today’s society, and even if I did train my gorilla how to do this, then it would be just between the gorilla and me, NOT for personal gain.
What Activities Would Our Gorilla
be able to enjoy? This would take some doing. I would not have my gorilla out in the front yard of my home yelling, beating his chest, and growling at every human or cat who happened to be in the gorilla’s line of sight. This is when I should teach him about respecting others and animals (like above paragraph), just so the innocent humans walking or driving by my house, and the innocent animals, cats, dogs and skunks, who did rustle in the woods at the back of my house would have nothing to worry about. Remember? My well-trained gorilla does KNOW how to look upon human beings and animals with eyes of respect and love.
I would buy two bicycles for the gorilla and me to take to the Bike Trail which we do have in my hometown. And as intelligent as my gorilla would be, riding a bike would post no problem for him—but the only source of fear would be teaching him how to use his bicycle brakes as to stop him before he goes through someone’s house.
We could take my wife, Pamela, and our gorilla, to attend our local high school’s football team to enjoy a game on a crisp October Friday night. Our gorilla would go wild, so to speak then let out loud squeals and growls as our team scored touchdown’s.
And you bet, my wife and I would take our adult gorilla out for a picnic because we have a county lake not far from our home and I know that our gorilla would love Pam’s chef-like cooking delicious dishes such as: Southern Fried Chicken; Fried Green Tomatoes; Pot Roast and Bologna Sandwiches, washed down with Sweet Iced Tea. I think that our gorilla would not only be a very well-rounded emotional and mental gorilla, but physical and eating to round-out our gorilla-training.
Names That are Fitting for Gorillas
pose little problem in giving our gorilla a fitting-name. Are you as excited as I am to be giving our gorilla a cute name? We shall take a look at these names . . .”Georgio,” “Clark,” “Giantico,” “Goody,” “Scruffy,” “Matt,” “Big ‘Un,” “Bruce,” and these have not scratched the surface, so at this writing, we have not settled on our gorilla’s catchy name. Maybe you could help by sending in your ideas at the bottom of this hub inside the Comment Box.Thanks so much.
frankly, I have had a ball discussing one of Mother Nature’s finest works: gorilla’s. And no matter if I were to raise a few gorilla’s and keep them in my home and let them live in their own rooms, the gorilla’s, I know, would come away with their mental faculties somewhat distorted, but then again, so would mine.
And in all honesty, when I was a kid, I always dreamed of having a gorilla for a gorilla. Who would keep me safe each day and let me teach him about what it is like to live like a gorilla. But that dream faded a little at the time and when I grew up, it faded completely.
Thank God, that gorilla’s are still with us.
July 8, 2019_______________________________________________
© 2019 Kenneth Avery