Getting to Know All About It's a Guy Thing

Updated on January 22, 2018
kenneth avery profile image

Kenneth is a natural-born southerner and grew up his entire life in the south where he has resided now for 63 years in Hamilton, Al.,

Home Improvement

was an American television sitcom starring Tim Allen broadcast on ABC from September 17, 1991, to May 25, 1999, also showcasing the talents of: Patricia Richardson, Earl Hindman, Taran Noah Smith, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Zachery Ty Bryan, Richard Karn and Debbe Dunning.

Tim Allen of Last Man Standing and Home Improvement.
Tim Allen of Last Man Standing and Home Improvement. | Source

In Essence,

Tim "Tim Taylor" Allen stars with Richard Karn as a DIY show where "Taylor and Richard "Al Boland" Karn display various ways to help the homeowner how to save money on remodeling projects as well as the latest in tools to help the do-it-yourselfer's. Miter saws aside, the show's title, Home Improvement has a double meaning, as it implies that the current episode either deals with a life issue that concerns the cast or in the public and the "Taylor family" ends up letting their lives be improved by some act or cause or improves someone else's life in the same way.

Allen, who started his career in stand-up clubs, resorts to many sight jags on the sitcom such as how he "souped-up" the week whacker and (like most all of his gags) got carried away giving the viewers a lot of laugh time.

this narrative deals with the one phrase that came from Home Improvement's dialogue where "Tim" and "Jill," Patricia Richardson, are discussing that females are as equal to any man when comes to managing obstacles. "Tim," growls his ape-like sounds and says to "Jill" while he leaves for work: It's a guy thing, Jill. Even in real life today, I hear that phrase in eateries, pharmacies and almost everywhere.

Let me be blunt. Just what is a guy thing? I guess we can start by identifying the basic elements about guys: cold beer (for some), football, hotwings, grilling, hanging-out with buddies in sports grills, more cold beer, strutting for pretty girls and NASCAR races. I like it when my topics are simple. Men are most simple. We men are great actors and convince the ladies in and out of our lives that "we" can do a certain thing with no problem while shaking in our shoes. False bravado, it's a guy thing.

Ever notice guys, married or single, when they are in attendance at an outdoor wedding ever guy for 10 miles are standing in a perfect circle – the onlookers hear mild laughter, then a brief loud laugh and a few legs being slapped. This has to be Male Joke Time, just another guy thing.

A true, red, white, and blue guy will always go for the hotwings eaten with his two index fingers rather than cutting the hotwing with a knife and spearing the bite with a fork and placing it in the mouth. Did you count those moves? I counted four. When you eat a hotwing, only two moves. This is an all-American guy thing.

Guys, when other guys are around, turn from devout men to complete liars when one of the guys talks in volumes about jigsaws, table saws and blades, but let the one guy who is not grunting in agreement and he instantly says, you bet! That's the saw that I would buy, yes, sir.

When true married guys and their wives call it a day and the wife is first to head to the bedroom, the guy turns off what lights are burning and when the TV is to be turned off, a mere mention of a guy-related film on some pay channel will come on just in time for this married guy to watch a 15-minute trailer of: "Three Majorettes on Vacation," and always yell to the wife, "Be there in a minute!" Oh, yeah. This is a guy thing through and through.

True guys are okay with other true guys as long as one of the true guys are not losing on the football team that the first true guy has all but lost the farm because of some bad intel. Guys losing money on bad football teams--a pure guy thing.

A true guy had rather hop on his riding mower on a Saturday morning and mow his lawn to a perfect manicured look than spend fifteen minutes with his wife in a Bed, Bath, and Beyond looking for bath soaps. You ain't wrong. This is a Real guy thing.

Fact: The only time that you will see a true, red-blooded guy in Victoria's Secret is when he is in there to ask directions to the nearest rest room in the mall. And speaking of Victoria's Secret. The perfect place for a true guy to hide when he has had an affair is Victoria's Secret. No police officers would dare enter these stores because they fear what their friends will say if they see them in this racy store.

A true guy will never admit to being "fat." He will always say, "I am a bit chunky," because it sounds easier to believe.

On the first day of Deer Season, a true guy will never ask his wife (or girlfriend) to get up at 4 am, dress in camouflage, pour deer urine all over him and herself and head to the woods when the temperature is not above 22. This one does sound like a male chauvinist, but it's only a guy thing. Truth be told, "this"guy is afraid that his wife will bag a bigger deer than him.

You cannot pay a true guy to jog two mornings a week, but come any weekend from September through November, and you will find the true guy and his true guy friends in the bleachers jumping up and down because their team has won a crucial game. Yes, this is a guy thing. No question about it.

A true guy knows everything there is to know about his brand of briefs. Any married true guy, when he goes to take a shower, will reach into his underwear drawer and upon finding a few pair of new briefs, will yell to his wife,"where are my FAVORITE briefs? The ones so thin that you have to paint them on me."

In closing, a true guy will always let his wife or girlfriend, order first in their favorite restaurant and even let her go ahead and pay for his food too because a true guy is an evolved guy and is not intimidated by an empowered woman.


These are Hot wings: the National Food of guys everywhere.
These are Hot wings: the National Food of guys everywhere. | Source

Questions & Answers

    © 2018 Kenneth Avery

    Comments

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      • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

        Kenneth Avery 

        8 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama

        Hello, Venkatachari M. -- you are a very good hubber and friend. May God bless you for leaving me such a wonderful comment.

        Stay cool and sane.

        Write me anytime.

      • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

        Kenneth Avery 

        8 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama

        Hey, ptsosis -- the lawnmower and the week whacker. "Tim Taylor" was a gear head to beat all gear heads--he loved the automobile with a passion and I liked how he would bond with his sons take old cars and rebuild them while he was helping build them into responsible adults.

        Thanks again and write anytime.

      • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

        Kenneth Avery 

        8 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama

        Hi, Mr. Happy -- I appreciate you coming by and leaving such poignant remarks about the Guy Thing. You, my friend, are on your "A-Game" and I want you to know that you are very appreciated.

        Peace.

        Write me anytime.

      • ptosis profile image

        ptosis 

        8 months ago from Arizona

        @ happy the photo look like Tim Allen from Home improvement where he soups up the lawn mower and other power tools to a repeated demise.

      • Mr. Happy profile image

        Mr. Happy 

        8 months ago from Toronto, Canada

        Kept seeing the photograph of this man in the Hub-pages feed. My mind kept racing through memories and questions like: "Who is this guy? I've seen him somewhere. Not important guy but where did I see him? Some sort of a comedian maybe a stand-up comedian...?"

        So, at first I just skipped it but on a third time, scrolling through hours later, here he comes again lol I couldn;t stand it so I had to visit. Home Improvement - yes, that's where I've seen his face. Never watched the show but seen commercials or something along the lines.

        Well, from the list of your "guy things" I got one, haha!! Grilling.

        Who eats chicken-wings with a knife and fork? That's wrong lol It's like eating pizza with a knife and fork: wrong again! LOL

        Ya, I'm not much into bath soaps. I do use Magnesium sulfate, or Epsom Salt as it is most commonly known. Try sitting in a bath with that for like twenty minutes: You feel like a new-born baby! It's good for injuries too, which I seem to accumulate every year lately lol

        "A true guy will never admit to being "fat." He will always say, "I am a bit chunky," because it sounds easier to believe." - I think there's a name for that nowadays. It's called the "dad bod" ... and I'm stupefied. How is that even a thing? That's just pure laziness, haha!! No excuses. : )

        "pour deer urine all over him" - really? I have a feeling You weren't kidding here ... there's someone out there pouring deer urine over himself and he's okay with it? I mean, how do You even get a deer's urine ... goodness, do I even want to know? lol

        I can't recall a time when I let a woman pay but there have been many cases when we go fifty-fifty. I have only gone out to dinner with friends in the last several years. Or even more than that lol

        Fun article. Cheers!

      • Venkatachari M profile image

        Venkatachari M 

        8 months ago from Hyderabad, India

        Very funny and entertaining article. Enjoyed the guy-things narrated wonderfully by you.

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