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Getting to Know All About It's a Guy Thing

Kenneth, born and raised in the South, resides in Hamilton, Alabama. He enjoys sharing his unique perspectives on life through his writing.

Home Improvement

was an American television sitcom starring Tim Allen broadcast on ABC from September 17, 1991, to May 25, 1999, also showcasing the talents of: Patricia Richardson, Earl Hindman, Taran Noah Smith, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Zachery Ty Bryan, Richard Karn and Debbe Dunning.

Tim Allen of Last Man Standing and Home Improvement.

Tim Allen of Last Man Standing and Home Improvement.

In Essence,

Tim "Tim Taylor" Allen stars with Richard Karn as a DIY show where "Taylor and Richard "Al Boland" Karn display various ways to help the homeowner how to save money on remodeling projects as well as the latest in tools to help the do-it-yourselfer's. Miter saws aside, the show's title, Home Improvement has a double meaning, as it implies that the current episode either deals with a life issue that concerns the cast or in the public and the "Taylor family" ends up letting their lives be improved by some act or cause or improves someone else's life in the same way.

Allen, who started his career in stand-up clubs, resorts to many sight jags on the sitcom such as how he "souped-up" the week whacker and (like most all of his gags) got carried away giving the viewers a lot of laugh time.

this narrative deals with the one phrase that came from Home Improvement's dialogue where "Tim" and "Jill," Patricia Richardson, are discussing that females are as equal to any man when comes to managing obstacles. "Tim," growls his ape-like sounds and says to "Jill" while he leaves for work: It's a guy thing, Jill. Even in real life today, I hear that phrase in eateries, pharmacies and almost everywhere.

Let me be blunt. Just what is a guy thing? I guess we can start by identifying the basic elements about guys: cold beer (for some), football, hotwings, grilling, hanging-out with buddies in sports grills, more cold beer, strutting for pretty girls and NASCAR races. I like it when my topics are simple. Men are most simple. We men are great actors and convince the ladies in and out of our lives that "we" can do a certain thing with no problem while shaking in our shoes. False bravado, it's a guy thing.

Ever notice guys, married or single, when they are in attendance at an outdoor wedding ever guy for 10 miles are standing in a perfect circle – the onlookers hear mild laughter, then a brief loud laugh and a few legs being slapped. This has to be Male Joke Time, just another guy thing.

A true, red, white, and blue guy will always go for the hotwings eaten with his two index fingers rather than cutting the hotwing with a knife and spearing the bite with a fork and placing it in the mouth. Did you count those moves? I counted four. When you eat a hotwing, only two moves. This is an all-American guy thing.

Guys, when other guys are around, turn from devout men to complete liars when one of the guys talks in volumes about jigsaws, table saws and blades, but let the one guy who is not grunting in agreement and he instantly says, you bet! That's the saw that I would buy, yes, sir.

When true married guys and their wives call it a day and the wife is first to head to the bedroom, the guy turns off what lights are burning and when the TV is to be turned off, a mere mention of a guy-related film on some pay channel will come on just in time for this married guy to watch a 15-minute trailer of: "Three Majorettes on Vacation," and always yell to the wife, "Be there in a minute!" Oh, yeah. This is a guy thing through and through.

True guys are okay with other true guys as long as one of the true guys are not losing on the football team that the first true guy has all but lost the farm because of some bad intel. Guys losing money on bad football teams--a pure guy thing.

A true guy had rather hop on his riding mower on a Saturday morning and mow his lawn to a perfect manicured look than spend fifteen minutes with his wife in a Bed, Bath, and Beyond looking for bath soaps. You ain't wrong. This is a Real guy thing.

Fact: The only time that you will see a true, red-blooded guy in Victoria's Secret is when he is in there to ask directions to the nearest rest room in the mall. And speaking of Victoria's Secret. The perfect place for a true guy to hide when he has had an affair is Victoria's Secret. No police officers would dare enter these stores because they fear what their friends will say if they see them in this racy store.

A true guy will never admit to being "fat." He will always say, "I am a bit chunky," because it sounds easier to believe.

On the first day of Deer Season, a true guy will never ask his wife (or girlfriend) to get up at 4 am, dress in camouflage, pour deer urine all over him and herself and head to the woods when the temperature is not above 22. This one does sound like a male chauvinist, but it's only a guy thing. Truth be told, "this"guy is afraid that his wife will bag a bigger deer than him.

You cannot pay a true guy to jog two mornings a week, but come any weekend from September through November, and you will find the true guy and his true guy friends in the bleachers jumping up and down because their team has won a crucial game. Yes, this is a guy thing. No question about it.

A true guy knows everything there is to know about his brand of briefs. Any married true guy, when he goes to take a shower, will reach into his underwear drawer and upon finding a few pair of new briefs, will yell to his wife,"where are my FAVORITE briefs? The ones so thin that you have to paint them on me."

In closing, a true guy will always let his wife or girlfriend, order first in their favorite restaurant and even let her go ahead and pay for his food too because a true guy is an evolved guy and is not intimidated by an empowered woman.


These are Hot wings: the National Food of guys everywhere.

These are Hot wings: the National Food of guys everywhere.

© 2018 Kenneth Avery

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