From the Bald Spot
middle school, high school, heat, fun time, coming of age, multiple sclerosis, MonSters story, walk MS' long walks on the beach
It was a dark and stormy morning (okay, not really). I arose to the feeling that I must have slept on my side the wrong way and just couldn't wake my arm up! That feeling terrified me for the first few hours, but of course, my fatigued butt had to get ready for school that day. The reality of the feeling is that the numbness and tingling drove me crazy for such an elongated period of time, definitely not a pinched nerve like the doctors were to falsely prognoses -- although not the right prognosis, it was definitely not music to my ears. I couldn't even play my favorite instrument of choice during class -- viola, my 7 year buddy.
If you would like to read more about this symptom (I'm telling you, if there were a library for the full story behind each tale, libraries would be even more packed), the National MS Society can definitely help you understand.
After those first few months, my symptoms finally disappeared and summer came. Being my ecstatic freshman sporty self, I joined the tennis team and even was able to place in the varsity team my freshman year! I was sure to follow my dream all the way through the semester until the morning of homecoming.
No, I didn't feel well. Heck, I didn't even look well. But my vision was blurry and allergy medicine wouldn't help restore a 20/20 mindset.
So, fast forward to the eye doctor. Yes, a term like optic neuritis scared me, especially with the length and scariness of the term, in addition to my first MRI check. Later on that day, I was rushed to a hospital, where two spinal taps were performed (I may not have been small anymore). But my week there was sure to devastate not only my parents, but also me, especially since I couldn't see my favorite band!! (I swore to my friends that I would have made it to that mosh pit, IV and all)
There, I said that dreaded disease that I couldn't remember at the time
I was too young at 15 to hear those words, to grow up (I mean, come on, I haven't even had a boyfriend yet! I got a health condition instead).
To read more about the general victims of the MonSters attacks, here's a lovely article from the MS society, whom has helped me from the beginning.
The usual survivor hears those words in their 20s, but my myelin had already started deteriorating.
I confess, high school was a blazing furnace, from emotional pains (yes, depression and MS go hand in hand) to constant attacks due to the heat. But guess who survived and made it to college. :)
So, I'm going to be flat out about this, I have depression, which definitely impacted me, especially with the weakened myelin, but I'm getting through now stronger than ever.
But I'm free now.
Free but with about 30 new lesions in both my brain and my spine, one of the scariest things I have ever heard.
If my article has touched you, it would be much appreciated if you would like to help support the MS society. Your money could help us with finding cures, symposiums, and even go as far as to fund dinners to educate people about this disease.
(There definitely are plans for a kick butt[or MS] t-shirt to signify the milestones that I've surpassed through this last odyssey with MS.)
In addition to that, I know that I will be taking part in the Walk MS and, although as the lyrics say, "I'm not sick but I'm not well", I will be at the sidelines encouraging fellow Walk MS teams. Who knows, maybe one day I'll get Mucky and join the annual Muckfest obstacle course to rub more dirt in MS' scars!
Right now, I'm hoping that my story can inspire you <3 I just want to say that although I may not know you, you're loved, and I love you! I know that I've found strength by reaching out to fellow MonSters and being able to relate, so positively connect to help you unlock your full self.
© 2018 Josephine Jose