Finding love and Aspiring to keep it in the modern world.
What is love? How can I find love? How do I know I’m in love? But most importantly, once again, what is love?
Being in love and in a relationship is currently one of the aspirations people nurture. It comes without trouble, to say that people seek security in the comforts of others. The modern age has however redefined the security that was cherished in relationships, mostly in the 19th century. A classic example of pure love is the fictional story of Noah Calhoun and Allison Nelson(Allie), in the famous novel ‘The Notebook’ by Nicholas Sparks. It is a beautiful thing, a wonderful feeling and could also be a sharp and meaningless sting. I hope you will gain insight from this article and find love, the only feeling most people seem not to have.
In attempting to define and find love, it is important to understand the different manifestations of love. Love most importantly should be a product of family relations. My younger sister helps me press my shirts sometimes, I consider that love. As I recall, during our childhood, my brother ate sugar and put the blame on me. You know what? That is still a gesture of love. The point being that there is always a lot of unspoken love at home, where the family lives. That is where love lives.
Secondly, love is also a product of emotional and physical attraction, the most common sought-after love. This is where people tend to go wrong, going to lengths so long trying to make things right, not making light of the constant emotional fight, but going deeper into depression every day and miserable night. This kind of love is easily reachable to those who desire it, and are every bit ready to live love, give everything they have without expecting nothing back but love.
Therefore, being as ready as you are to understand what is love, I would like to request you to open your mind to the possibility that everything you do is an act of love, except of course sleeping with your mouth open. Love is anything that we want it to be. Yet, to fully grasp the concept of love, there are some core values that are vital in the process.
If you want to know how to love someone else, one has to have self-love. This is the art of getting to know yourself and loving your whole being. Our souls are a harbor for a higher level of energy than what we believe we have. It takes self-commitment to understand that which one is made of. Past understanding, it is thus important that we unconditionally love this part of ourselves that no one else knows. And almost as if you predicted, external love will present itself in the form of another soul that has also learnt to love themselves.
Extending the virtues of kindness and appreciation is also important. We are drawn to goodness and gentleness. Attraction to insolence is rather left to any form of mid-youth crisis, or lack of an emotional support system. This means that it is easy to find love and companionship when the heart vibrates with goodness. Daily practice of kindness, may at its worst lead to assault, but this is only guaranteed in the films. Appreciating people and everything that matters, attracts a positively vibrant vibe, which in most cases people feel the need to love.
The one unspoken rule of finding love, and of course also figure out what is love, is not divert all attention to it. There are numerous love sayings, and in most cases, such advice tend to clash messages. Some do advise love-seekers to go for it, go round and round seeking love. Truth be told, these people are usually afraid of being alone. Other sayings also give totally different messages, urging people to wait for it. I find that waiting is the best option. The best kind of love is that which will not only be forced, but will also take its best time to nurture into something permanent.
I mentioned something about security being a reason people jump into relationships. It is oddly unsatisfying having unwarranted opinions when it comes to other people’s relationships. Still, there is no shame in admitting that the worst kind of security sought in relationships is financial security. We all hold different opinions when it comes to such matters. Love and relationships should be known to yield nothing short of fulfilling joy and happiness. Anything opposing that current state of affairs is considered misery and a painful meaningless sting. Therefore, one most vital step on understanding what is love and how to find love, is understand what you want from someone.
Still, in the context of security, emotions also suffer the possibility of damage. We want to feel right, not pain. Of course there comes a limit to us providing our own emotional security. Love and a good relationship offer the perfect place for emotional security. Choosing to trust emotions with someone we love is of course a good way to seek emotional security. However, for this to work, there has to be sincerity of emotions, and most importantly of intentions.
In the end, finding love will never be an easy task if we don’t set our values straight. The most important values being self-worth and kindness. Keeping the love found will all the same be like finding things to do each and every day that help the relationship flourish.
Good luck in attempting to seek love. Grasp it tight once in your hands. And if love is not found, look within you, write you own story and own it.
© 2019 Jack Walter