I was 19 working at a Dollar Store in my hometown when I met my first husband. Our relationship was far from good, and looking back now I’m not entirely sure what made me say yes to him. The relationship was filled with jealousy, mistrust, and abuse. The abuse didn’t come until much later in the marriage, but the jealousy and mistrust was there from the start. I was convinced that I had nowhere else to go, so I put up with everything and tried to make myself happy.
I found contentment in the online game, World of Warcraft. Somewhere I could talk to friends about my issues and they would do everything they could to help me. While my husband was putting me down and disgracing me, I had friends online to help keep me strong. He would play the game too, so at times it was somewhat awkward for us to play together.
About a year has passed when things started getting worse in my marriage. I would get yelled at for things that I hadn’t even done yet. I was accused of cheating when I just wanted to hang out with a guy friend for an hour or two. Any time that I would try to leave the house to take some time away from him, he would block my path and refuse to let me leave... this is about the time the abuse started. I will not go into too much detail because I’d rather not make everything about my marriage public. I will, however, say that things just proceeded to get worse and worse. I had decided that I wanted to get a divorce, but I was so scared to do so because I felt like I had nowhere to go.
I found myself just staying quiet all day, playing my game. For months I would even force myself to stay up all night, or sleep on the couch, just so that I didn’t have to sleep with him. I had my own guild on the game, which is a group of people that share a common interest in the game, and help each other out when they need it. Whether it had something to do with the game, or an issue in real life, my guild has always been there for me.
One day, a random player had contacted me in the game and asked to join my guild. They didn’t say much and it was hard to get to know them but they seemed nice enough. After a few days of being in the guild, he told us a little bit about himself. He had recently injured his hand at work, so he had a lot of time to play the game. He was playing a class that I had just started a new character with, so I had asked him to help me out. He told me things about the game that I didn’t know about, and helped me be a better player. We eventually started to even become friends and would occasionally do things with each other on the game.
This was at the peak of the bad times with my marriage and everyone could see it. I was unhappy constantly, I hardly talked. There were plenty of times that I thought it would have just been easier for me if I weren’t alive anymore. A little harsh, I know. Even though I felt that way, I could never actually harm myself.
The new friend that I had made could tell that things were getting worse for me. He would talk with me and help get my mind off of things. He would even stay up with me all night just to talk. He told me things about his life and his past, I told him things about me too. I learned that he was my age and we had a lot of the same interests. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t falling for him, because I was. Every day we talked, every time he got online and immediately contacted me I would smile and get butterflies in my stomach.
I know that, considering the situation at the time, it may have been wrong… but I was falling for this guy, fast. He knew the entire situation. He knew that I was married, he knew what all was happening in my life. I even told him about things in my past that I hardly told anyone about, because it was so horrible. Even though he knew all of this stuff he was still there for me, he still did his best to make me happy.
I finally decided that I was going to tell him that I was falling for him. However, I regret to say that I can’t remember word for word that was said when I told him. I started off by telling him that I needed to tell him something but wanted him to have an open mind about it, I said to him “As wrong as it may be, I think I’m starting to fall for you”. It made me so happy when his response was “I think I’m starting to fall for you, too”. He explained to me that he had never felt this way about someone before and that he wanted something real with me. I wanted something real with him too… and I was determined to make it happen. I wasn’t even sure what he looked like until about a week after this conversation …but it didn’t matter because I loved him for who he was. All it took for me to fall for him was the sound of his voice and his personality. I was in love and I was happy for the first time in a very long time.
I was also very scared at first; I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid that I wouldn’t find a way to be with him, that something would stand in my way. He lived 1,000 miles away from me and I didn’t know how to come up with the money to visit him. I also had to finish up with my divorce, so we took things slow.
I ended up moving in with my mom while I filed for divorce. Luckily since there were no children involved and we didn’t have any disputes about property, the divorce was pretty simple to take care of. I was called to come sign the papers in front of the notary and then they were sent off. In just a month I would be an unmarried woman again.
From the outside I can see how the situation looked very bad for me. I was married and fell in love with another man before I was even divorced. The only thing I can say is, I was never truly happy with my husband, and I was going to leave him sooner or later anyway. I was just finally given something to look forward to and work for.
Now that I had gotten my divorce, my boyfriend and I had started talking about how we were going to make things work, and decided that the best option would be for me to move to him. Things moved very quickly from that point. He sent me money to make the drive. I said my goodbyes to some of my family and packed my things. My car isn’t very reliable so I was very scared to make the trip alone, but I decided to take the trip in strides. So I left on Wednesday morning and stayed with my father in Kentucky that night. I left early Thursday morning and drove for about 10 hours and stayed at one of my guild mates’ house until Friday when I made the final 5 hour drive to my love.
I was about 30 minutes away from him when my nerves really started to kick in. I had never seen him before, we had never met in person and I was so excited to finally be with him. As I pulled into his town I called him to get directions to his house. There are no words to explain the feeling I had when he came up to me and grabbed my hand and hugged me. It was the greatest feeling in the world, and I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost him. My boyfriend has shown me what it is like to feel true love and that no matter what, if you truly love each other, you can make it work.
Even months later, I find myself falling in love with him more and more every day. We have our disputes, like most couples, but it's never something that we can't overcome. We joke around with one another, we pick on each other, and we love each other unconditionally. He's seen me at my best, and at my worst and treats me no differently because of it.
Don't let the idea of Online Dating scare you, just remember to take it slowly and with caution. Some people are not who they say they are, and others are the exact person you need in your life. I found mine on an online game, I know people who have found love on the same game and on dating sites. Be smart about your decisions, and I wish you the best of luck if you ever decide to date online!