Kenneth, born and raised in the South, resides in Hamilton, Alabama. He enjoys sharing his unique perspectives on life through his writing.
Look at The Pretty Girl
in the above photo. Tell the truth, isn’t she pretty? I think so. And while this is not a knock on females, I must come clean. I have read over the years how men who fell in love with women this pretty were mysteriously sent packing. For good. I did not, thank God, know any female that would do harm to me, but I did love to take them to dinner, maybe a show and some parking beside the lake in the country. But when those stories about gorgeous women and murder being connected (mostly) in the big cities, I started to NOT trust any pretty girls, and by that I mean, I did not open myself up to all of my personal information (bank information, post office combination to my postal box and things like this.
And no. I did not live as most hermits lived, but I did try to keep myself guarded as the years took me from teenage to adulthood and I have to tell you the truth that being careful about whom and what I confided in, truly helped (and is helping me) today. And I can attribute all of my safety because of FEAR. The kind of Careful Fear that can cause us to learn about some new person living next door or some new girl, although very pretty, I wanted to get to know her before I became friendly.
I Must Confess That
my headline does concern me. It should. People as a rule, are fearful of many things and people. Yes, there are people who do not fear people and rattlesnakes as much as they cannot be near a intolerant boss who chews them out in flash of light. Then laughs at the poor employee. There were many years (from my birth through my teenage years) I lived in fear. Actually it can be defined as “Silent Fear,” which can cause you to have times of clinical depression due to overbearing employees and bosses, being taken advantage of my family members, and classmates who saw me only as a FOOL. The bright side of being a fool was if I could generate enough laughter from these Elite Students, then I would not have to face them in a fist-fight.
The expert on fear, Sigmund Freud, famously known as the father of psychoanalysis, wrote about his theory of anxiety (1926) and that was that anxiety arises in response to dangerous situations. ... Freud discussed fear in the case example of “Little Hans.” Freud states that Little Hans became afraid of horses because they symbolized his fear of castration by his father to punish his libidinal impulses. Are you confused?
Fear, I believe because I was a victim of it and saw it tear down many good men and women who I lived and worked with that one force: fear—which has no soul or heart, name, or limit. Fear can attack the youngest to the oldest human beings. Even animals. In some ways, fear is the best teacher of life as one wise sage said years ago, if it were not for fear, we would walk out into the highway and be killed. That definition of fear sounds wise.
In The Workplace The Essence
of fear is many times an old man dressed in black holding a crooked walking stick ready to attack the unknowing as they walk by. Take a close look at your workplace and see if this statement is true: I cannot trust too many coworkers because one of them might squeal on me to the boss and I will be terminated and then that Judas will be promoted. I hope that this does not describe your place of business. I mean it.
And you do not need me to tell you that we live in a fearful nation judging by the many shootings (which puts fear in me) we see on the evening news, because it is right there in front of us. Not like it was in my time, 1953 through 1972, my young years, teenage years which led to my adult life, there was not as many shootings and cold-blooded murder as we see it in 2019. I am not the prophet here, but the dangerous society in which we live, (or survive), has become to frequent that we have become insulated with no shock effect can be felt in our lives, and I am no asking that other low-lifes will read this and take more lives. God forbid. But I would like for us as a nation to be more fearful and aware about what we see happening in our country.
The workplaces have become Sniper’s Nests because CNN keeps us informed about who is holding hostages and how many police officers are on the scene, to say nothing about the hundreds of police and S.W.A.T. squads are on the scene, and one can only pray that the authorities are operating on a Careful Fear, not an Out and Out Nervous Meltdown Fear.
From the tender age of seven, I can recall when I was taken to church and listening to the preacher talk loudly about God had better be feared, or many will end up in Hell. Then in the years that followed, I studied the Bible, God’s Word, and found out that the “fear” that was coming out of the mouths of these early preachers, was NOT associated with God. The fear that IS associated with God is to be interpreted as “Reverence,” which is the simple movement of our souls to give Him all of the respect and silent worship (sometimes) that He deserves.
You do understand now about the difference between Fear and Reverence.
Now to Tell You About
couples, the male part of the couple to be more exact. Look at this happy couple in the photo above. See their smiles? See their fun-loving disposition? But what we do not see is that there is something gone awry with this couple and it is not about the pretty woman, but the aggressive guy.
We’ve been talking about fear in this piece and the Couples Scene cannot be ignored. And if you are sniffing for numbers, look at this: the number of American troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012 was 6,488. The number of American women who were murdered by current or ex male partners during that time was 11,766. That’s nearly double the amount of casualties lost during war. I do not know about you, but this one piece of information puts the fear of God inside me as it should you.
I confess. I was raised in an old-fashioned Christian home and I was taught at an early age that women are NOT livestock, furniture, dogs, or slaves to husbands. My mother only had to tell me this ONCE and her tone of voice was not sharp or mean, but direct. I love my mother for sharing this priceless information.
Back to The Man in This Couple
he might look happy and together, but for all we know, that woman is so afraid of him that she smiles on command just like a battery-powered toy. This is also an arena of fear which most women are reluctant about telling the authorities of such a man being so controlling and overbearing. But the males who do these awful things can only bring up the old adage: I work 65 hours a week and I deserve to have some drinks and relax. Sure. But where in your marriage agreement does it give you, sir, the freedom to beat your wife like she is a punching bag? Don’t bother checking because it is not there.
In America alone, there are thousands of clinics stocked by the best therapist who are there only to give help to the helpless. Some men who take the time to be honest with the therapists, do change their mindsets and become a more-peaceful, loving guy, but not all are like that. These guys will argue that it cost too much to give some woman or therapist control over me. This is so sad. Don’t you agree. But the bottom line (for women in volatile situations) is that one common denominator: fear. And that, my friends, can not end well.
I also want to show you that fear is not only found in human beings, but the lowly rodents who control jungles, sewers, and basements. I am talking about rats, gophers, and more rodent cousins who cause us millions in damage to our homes and food.
Fear can be seen on this woman’s face for her seeing a rat. Now I ask you this simple question: we humans, like the woman, are big while the rat is small. We, if we wanted, could exterminate the rat with no trouble, but at first sight, the first emotion we feel is FEAR.
Either help us to get over fear or help tame the rats.
August 27, 2019__________________________________________________
© 2019 Kenneth Avery