My game plan is to research, condense my findings, and translate it into everyday language for busy people.
Dear Broken Heart,
Not all people are going to like you as many people are struggling to like themselves. You can love someone and care about that person even though it isn't good for you to be around that person because not everyone has the heart that you do. A woman once said her key to success was, "I do not beat myself up". We get an idea or image of who we are often based on what people say to us in childhood and even adulthood. If someone has a negative opinion of you, you do not have to validate that opinion and make it your own. One of the worse mistakes you can make is to start seeing yourself through the eyes of people who do not value you. Make sure you know your worth even if others do not.
If you have made this mistake before and did not consider yourself of high value or high worth, forgive yourself. It was a learning experience and not a mistake. Even if you did make a mistake, that's OK as long as you learned something from it. Instead of beating yourself up ask yourself, "What did you learn from this experience and what could you do better next time?" The Native Americans believe that it is OK to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. The reality is no one is perfect. All of use make mistakes. Everyone has some flaws. So, instead of throwing in the towel, be as forgiving of yourself as you would another person. You need to "love yourself fiercely" and treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. So if you want love from another person, try loving yourself first.
Women are taught from an early age to take care of everyone but themselves. They will a lot of times stay in a toxic relationship or work themselves to the point of illness by trying to please everyone else but themselves. That is why when in an airplane they tell parents that if the plane is going down to put the oxygen mask on themselves first and then their child. If you put the oxygen mask on your child first you will not be getting any oxygen and you will just suffocate. If the child passes out due to loss of oxygen, once you have your oxygen mask on you can always revive them by putting on their oxygen mask.
Try not to compare yourself to others. Try and focus on only the progress you have made no matter how small or insignificant it may seem to the rest of the world. There will always be someone smarter, more beautiful, more successful, etc. Stop comparing yourself to these people and just love you for you. Society will try to tear you down. Women and girls feel that they have to compete with one another. There is the false impression that by putting someone else down, it will make you feel better. It does not work. If you build someone else and compliment them you are also building yourself up. The compliments have to be honest because if they are fake it will not work. If you do not see the beauty in others, you will not see it in yourself. Please be as kind to yourself as you would someone else going through the same struggle. You are resilient and you will get through this.
The Rest of Me
BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on December 13, 2019:
It is true you must think of yourself...do not see yourself through others eyes.
Be a high value person and make the best of your life.
I believe since we are taught at an early age to take care of others it sometimes hurts us from letting go...we try too hard.
Thanks for sharing.
BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on November 29, 2019:
This is a nice article.
I think I like the Native Indians...it is okay to make a mistake if you learn from it.
Because i make mistakes even at my age...constantly learning.
I enjoyed this one.
John Hansen from Queensland Australia on November 24, 2019:
Well written, and good advice, Ezria.