Writing is my passion. I have an undying thirst and quest in the field of writing. Some eat, drink, or use drugs when stressed; I write.
For three years, I thought you were my only man. You start the relationship off with flirty text, making me think you were someone of romance. Every day, you made me feel special, and the things you told me all intrigued me. You turned my boring life into something lively and joyful. My love for you was everlasting. What I felt for you is more influential than anything I have ever experienced. I imagined the love we shared was a dream come true, but it was only a fantasy. My best friends knew you were not the one for me. Image my surprise when I learned that; I was a link in your chain, just a fool, a chain of fools.
I recall the first time we met. The first time you pulled my hand close to your mouth and kissed it, I didn't realize how much you would change my life. Although I thought maybe we gave a new meaning to the definition of love. Thoughts of you were for real.
When I woke up, my first thought was to speak with you, and my last wish before I went to bed was to hear your voice. The efficiency of your words was so strong that I believed what you said. One comment led to another. Then you act suspicious and run wild around town. It was hard not to see you took me for a fool, causing me to fall in love with a jerk.
Mistrust spread through our relationship like a wildfire when I learned you did not honor your words. I am not upset that you were deceiving me. Nevertheless, I am disappointed that I will no longer listen to a word you say. A word of advice, words have the authority to build up, restrain people to where they are, and break down so, choose your words wisely before you utter them to me because baby, a sucker is not my name. I was still in your corner when push came to shove, too blind to see you were a clever man. The guy that brought me so much pain even after I gave you everything you needed and more. You might be a sly guy, but you won’t play me, baby, you not the man for me.
I thought you loved me as passionately as I loved you. When you said, I love you. You lied, and your fake words put me through this never-ending pain. I love that silly little grin you gave, and you always could say the right things. At the right time, and they appeared so genuine. You made me believe you were honest in all you said that I never once thought you were here to talk with no action. Only I can’t describe how so much more alive I felt when I let you go. I have to confess something to you I have not said. I am saving myself from you, and now I give myself the love I deserve because now I know I was not the woman for you, and you were not the man for me.
You wasted energy on gestures that require a sacrifice of money, time, pride, and the element of surprise. This act changed everything. It is not enough to profess love to someone and not a pursuit of making this a demand. Now disagree with these notions for a significant reason. A romantic gesture is when someone aims to express their love, something that postpones the inevitable. The one thing that links us I was naïve, and you just wanted to keep me that way. I suppose you figured I would always be, but no way I reconsidered an alternate that contributes to my ending thing with you.
Here is a transgression that requires your attention. Had our relationship been healthy and respectful, I never would have broken up with you. You offered emotions that lack displays of affection, and you presented information as to prioritize demands that solely your own. Your profession of love was embarrassing and comparable to an open wound that needs to heal. If this is your choice to present love, I question, can you offer affection? Now I take issue with your lack of empathy because you made me feel as if I needed to regain some sense of control.
Those women who encounter a similar experience to mine should remember that a good man will make you feel special by his actions, not words. Please do not misinterpret me. I certainly do not mean a man needs to shower you with gifts like flowers, candy, lingerie, or wining and dining. I am speaking of a man being there for you, assisting you in your time of need. He is available but gives you a sense of control over your life. I can share in my article what the ideal relationship is like because I was in a relationship that made an enormous difference, and it helps me know where things are going. My husband paves an alternative path for my future.
It was difficult to recover from losing the man that paves an alternate path for my future, but I learned to find a reliable direction. After my husband’s death, God’s plans for my life were very dim. It was hard for me because it filled me with severe emotional pain. My husband and I shared a marriage that made us true partners in life. I understood how lucky I was to share my life with a man God meant for me to marry.
After his sudden death, I experienced hard to breathe and a state of stillness. It was in that tranquility where I took the time to surrender and allow God to help me pull my life together. I navigated the next year living in widowhood, spending hours on my couch, reading the Bible, writing, and praying. That is how I learned to accept God knows what he was doing when he took my husband.
The moral of my story is to contribute to others, anyone who experiences a hurt soul through being wounded by a selfish man as I have. I share the pain I encountered from my first love, a man who took pleasure in being a player. A guy that a girl can easily fall into his web of lies and deceit. Someone I thought was trustworthy of sharing my heart. Only to be surprised when I learn I was a link in his chain, just a fool, a chain of fools.
The Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, echoes a Chain of fools in a song. The single came out in 1967 and was written by Don Covay. Chain of fools reached number one on the U.S. R&B chart and remained for four weeks. Aretha Franklin won Best Female R&B Vocal Performance at the Grammy Awards. The song is about a woman who gets that she is part of her man’s “Chain.” She knew the relationship could never last, but she stayed.
Aretha Franklin - Chain of Fools (Lyric Video)
© 2021 Pam Morris