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Blooming In My Due Season

Stumbling upon the song of my life

I came to realize that just like how the song of our lives change depending on our situations, our seasons also change. It’s interesting how one may reference Taylor Swift’s “Back to December” as the song of his/her life at one moment then shift to P!nk’s “So What” the next. Our mantra in life changes through the years, and it speaks of our growth as individuals. One cannot remain in a winning stage all the time, losing seasons are also necessary. Everything that is meant to happen will happen in due season, and I guess that is the beauty of life.

In the past year, I constantly felt like there was a hollow space inside of me. I was doing well academically, I was well provided for by my parents, and I had a great support system. I am extremely thankful that I had no drama going on in my life, yet I could not really say I was happy. Deep inside, I was struggling because the emptiness in my heart was slowly sprouting to destroy my drive in accomplishing my goals. Then, I vividly remember hearing Evan Ford’s “Joy in the Morning” for the first time when it played on my Spotify shuffle whilst I was pre-occupied in making a powerpoint presentation. Evan’s line “They say the joy comes in the morning, I guess I gotta wait ’til then” comforted me in a way no one else could. At that exact moment, I knew in my heart that it was going to be the song of my life!


My due season

Realizations after realizations struck me after listening to that song. I came to understand that I could not find joy at the moment, because just like everything else, it comes in due season. Maybe I was at a time in my life where I had to feel the emptiness for me to cherish fulfillment when it comes at the proper time. Not every day would turn out to be a good day filled with laughter and joy, and I had to learn how to live with it. Gloomy hours are to be celebrated as well because these are the moments where learning comes the most.

“Joy in the Morning” is full of authenticity and inhibition, showcasing Evan Ford’s courage in songwriting. He was not afraid to show his imperfections throughout his spiritual journey. He revealed his doubts and sentiments to the Lord, which I thought was very honest. I was inspired by how Evan says in his song: “If I never fell down, would I know grace? If I never got lost, would I be found?” I felt like those lines embraced my flawed self because, somehow, it told me that everyone goes through failures at some point. Yet, no matter how much it aches, it gives room for individuals to grow nonetheless.

What my series of failures taught me

I remember how my lost connection with the Lord lead me to series of failures and devastations. I was engulfed with excitement upon entering senior high as it was like entering a new world. Not only was it liberating to leave toxic and failed friendships behind, I was also starting to feel in control of my own life. With a taste of independence, I got so amused with the noise and freedom my new world had to offer that I lost myself along the process. I started to do things my own way as my faith withered. Because of this, wrong decisions were made and it lead to failures that scarred me. Looking back now, I understood that it was a vital experience for me to undergo in order to learn lifelong lessons that would embark my growth. If I never got lost, I would never value home. In the course of my failing season, I learned how to smile with my scars because these very scars are what taught me to feel.

In the end, growth and maturity is seen on how I handle the storms of my life. As Evan Ford says in his song: “And when the wind and waves come down, I’ma keep rowing.” In the passion of my youth, sticks and stones have bruised me, causing me to stumble and fail. Now, I have reconciled with the truth that failures are bound to happen often because I am still in the season of learning. I am at a time in my life where I would be continuously scarred with errors and mistakes. I am at a time in my life where progress is continuously being made, little by little. There is no need to rush anything because I may not be there yet and I still have a long journey ahead of me, but I would surely bloom beautifully in due season.

© 2022 Keziah Bethany Vestidas

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