Beware: The Ignorance Germ

Updated on March 28, 2018
kenneth avery profile image

Kenneth is a rural citizen of Hamilton, Ala., and has begun to observe life and certain things and people helping him to write about them.

Life is such a game that I have seemingly lost those secret instructions on the do's and don't's on What Life is Really About and How to Live and be Happy, to name two. Before I say the following, please don't. I think that the higher echelon of society--the elite, rich, proud and proper, took over this upper crust years ago and when the Gilded Age didn't suit them, they simply unfolded it and hid it in some of those millionaires' basement which is as big as Wyoming. Me? I would have loved an heads-up to inform me and (those like me) about how proper and rigid these elite can be---and no amount of civil talk or begging will change their minds.

Beautiful girls are who the Ignorance Germ loves to attack.
Beautiful girls are who the Ignorance Germ loves to attack. | Source

And The Game Goes on

with my friends and me living on hope that one day, a lot of them will strike paydirt and before they can call me, they are whisked-away to Hollywood then to New York City for lunch, drinks, and a new wardrobe.

Where does that leave me? Nowhere. I am still here, doing (pretty much) the same thing each day and at the risk of using a MLB metaphor, "still pitching late in the eighth inning," and it looks like I will lose another game if something don't happen.

I've Went Through This

jungle before. Nothing around it is familiar. Just the faces, food choices, and haircuts are different. What I am ashamed to confess is this: have you ever ran into someone in your local Walmart or other stores and something between you and them just clicked? Magic, perhaps? Naw. Life itself. You and I have sampled a taste of life when it's the most-painful. That moment when you see "that" lovely young woman who brings every fiber in your body alive and you find yourself hanging on her every word. But us "old pros" can tell you that there is help for people suffering the Ignorance Germ and another part of this equation is that they are suffering in silence.

How the Ignorance Germ works is fairly simple. As you grow and develop, your body has a certain amount of good and bad germs and they know the boundaries and how far that they can do, so your bloodstream is really a quiet place to sit down and lean against a majestic oak tree and do some reading.

But during all of the talk about Problems With The Ozone many years ago, something silent happened. The Bad Germs had been planning this move for years, and now here it is. The Bad Germs somehow took over what territories that the Good Germs guarded and now the power had shifted to a set of callus, cold-hearted, self-serving gang of germs whose only focus was on themselves and this caused you several hours of embarrassment when a lovely girl ran into you at your favorite eatery. The Ignorance Germ. Not lethal, but cantankerous as all get out.

So, now we Will Look

at several points on "How You Will Know if You Have Been Infected by The Ignorance Germ" . . .

  • You've accidentally-met a very lovely girl. She's as pretty as any Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition and before you know it, your jaws shift into high gear and your heart has tripled it's beat. She is beaming, but not with the same energy that you are exerting. And here's where us males are blind, ignoring common sense and continue to talk, compliment, and (to you) this girl rates an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10. But there it is:that far-away look in her eyes. She is actually gazing into space. With all of your confidence you say, "I'm sorry. Have you not heard anything that I've said?" Then the lovely female replies,"What? Ohhh, I was looking at my "ex" down the sidewalk and he has really turned into a hunk and I just need to go." There you are--left alone babbling to yourself.
  • If you are walking into one of your elevators in your office building and this gorgeous blond winks at you. What a smile that you have. And for good reason. This girl is model material. You can hardly contain yourself. You walk over and shake her hand. She smiles again sending you to Cloud Nine. You ask her name and when she says it, you almost faint. Then in about half-hour, she calls you "Nedd," over five times. And when your frustration kicks in, you ask: "Who's this 'Nedd' character?" She replies: "Oh, an uncle of mine who used to play horsie with me when I was six. I would sit on his knee and he would do his horse sound and oh, at the fun. You look like him. This is my floor. See you, 'Uncle,' oh, I'm sorry. "Larry." Again, the Ignorance Germ has bitten you.
  • You attend a Social Mixer for Singles at your church. The event is low-key, but a great way for singles to meet, talk and have a great evening. When the dance music starts, you walk over to this pretty redhead. You ask her to dance, and she agrees. In fifteen minutes, you tell her: "you are a marvelous dancer," and she replies: "Oh, I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you have the grace of a drunken mule. I just danced with you because I felt sorry for you. Say, do you know of a place around here for Rage Anonymous?"
  • When you are talking to a woman, not necessarily one that you have just met, and she keeps repeating what you say until it gets old and you tell her: "Are you not listening to me?" She winks and says: "Sure, pop. Oh, I'm sorry. You are old enough to be my granddad and that ain't whiskey."


I Have Given you

a few selected situations that can show you how the Ignorance Germ works. This germ works in two ways: one, while the man and woman are engaging in conversation, the germ causes the man to overdo it by talking to this woman. He smiles way too much even tries to sing and recite poetry. What he is really doing is playing the role of a Sitting Duck because at the right time, the woman will turn cold and ruthless and say something that embarrasses him to such levels that he will stay depressed for months. I tell you, friends. The Ignorance Germ is dangerous.

I'll leave you with this one that I will use as the Ignorance Germ's "Big Guns." This is really not tough to understand because if you have read the other parts to this sneaky germ, then you will know all about "this" part of the Ignorance Germ.

The man, any man, will see a gorgeous brunette making her way to a table in a posh restaurant. He is instantly smitten. It's all he can do to keep himself under control, and he slips the Maitre'd fifty-bucks to give him the table closest to this hot brunette. He sits quietly while ever so often, he gazes at the woman with perfect features. He can no longer stand it. He jumps almost like a para-trooper with his flexibility. He crawls over to her on all-fours and tells her that he can do the best German Shepherd impression and to the delight of the other diners, he howls, fetches a napkin and puts up his hands on her table. The other diners applaud. Then before the pretty woman can tell him to get lost, he drags her out of the restaurant and takes her to the well-kept lawn in front of the fine eatery and he demands that they play Leap Frog while he sings "Ava Maria" and finally the woman stand rigid in front of him and yells: "for a mannequin, you sure have plenty of life! A dog act? Really? When are you going to do a dog act? Man, what an idiot you are," and storms away.

The Ignorance Germ strikes again.

__________________________________________March 28, 2018


Poor darling. Poor, poor darling.
Poor darling. Poor, poor darling. | Source

Questions & Answers

    © 2018 Kenneth Avery

    Comments

      0 of 8192 characters used
      Post Comment

      • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

        Kenneth Avery 

        6 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama

        Jai -- thanks so much for your input and very friendly comment. May God bless you with His goodness and peace throughout your days.

      • JaiAsahi23 profile image

        Jai Asahi 

        6 months ago

        wow so much learning, I wonder if he (subject of my poems) had this too, when he looks at her... and I am also always curious about the meaning of his gaze to me,,,,

      • profile image

        Kenneth Avery 

        7 months ago

        Elijah -- thank you for taking the time to read this piece that does fall into some categories of Pre/During/and Post and me? I think that I have graduated from the Ignorance Germ, but some of those little troublemakers cause me a bit of trouble since we are all human.

      • profile image

        Kenneth Avery 

        7 months ago

        Hi, John -- sorry for taking so long, but I have got a few health issues and they slow me down, some, so I beg your patience. Thanks for the nice comment. Your support means so much to me. If you are a praying man, mention my name when you do. Thanks.

      • profile image

        John Ward 

        8 months ago

        Amusing piece. Enjoyed. Not sure if I am beyond or grown too old for the Ignorance Germ. It does have little impact on me. When younger it is a possibility. But as they say, "The mind is the second thing to go". I cant remember the first. So who knows.

      • The0NatureBoy profile image

        Elijah A Alexander Jr 

        8 months ago from Washington DC

        I suppose, Kenneth, there are a few of us who are beyond "The Ignorance Germ" because they have risen above infatuation with looks. There are even some few who have never had it and I fall into both categories.

        It was fun reading though.

      working

      This website uses cookies

      As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, letterpile.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

      For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://letterpile.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

      Show Details
      Necessary
      HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
      LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
      Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
      AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
      Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
      CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
      Features
      Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
      Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
      Marketing
      Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
      Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
      Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
      Statistics
      Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
      ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)