Beware: Criminals With Loud Shoes

Updated on December 1, 2018
kenneth avery profile image

Kenneth is a rural citizen of Hamilton, Ala., and has begun to observe life and certain things and people helping him to write about them.

Don’t Let Yourself

be alarmed. This hub by all indications, is a work of pure sanity, and can be let up to the light of day as conclusive proof of the statement I shall make in a few moments. So relax. Pour yourself a cup of fresh coffee and relax—for “this” piece has NEVER been published on this website, magazine, or newspaper of the wealthy, powerful types.

I should apologize to you for the opening as I said “don’t let yourself be alarmed,” because I did not want my writing to be that of a man man or someone who is just grasping at straws as the gentle breezes (of Kansas) draws them away never to be used for anything.

As narratives go, I should also say to you, besides the apology, that this hub is NOT a narrative, but a personal work that I think will bring pleasure, even the smallest piece, to that one in four citizens who might be drawn to looking at my headline only to see what it is about.

It could have been Wagon Train if it weren’t for me watching “Paladin,” go after every law-breaker that just happened to be available.”

   Womens high heels.
Womens high heels. | Source

“I shall never forget the revelation that came over me. I was watching a classic western: Have Gun – Will Travel starring Richard Boone as “Paladin,” this sophisticated bounty hunter living in San Francisco.

— Me, Kenneth Avery

My Thinking Was Pure

I have never watched any show where the plot had the good guy who couldn’t sneak-up on some troublemaker who had just stolen his mother’s car. It don’t happen. And it didn’t happen as far back as it did in Have Gun – Will Travel the episode that I was watching. The hero, dressed in black, “Paladin,” had found the law-breaker sitting near his campfire eating a slice of rabbit—food that was made for a troublemaker on the lamb.

“Paladin,” tried his very best to not make any noise as he inched himself closer and closer to the outlaw’s fire, but just as sure as I am sitting here trying to seize as many colorful adjectives that I can, the lawbreaker’s horse must have startled “Paladin,” because no sooner than the thug saw “Paladin,” he had his .45 Colt in his hand with the hammer cocked, ready to fire on our hero, “Paladin.”

But “Paladin,” was one cool customer. He got up, lifted his hands and said with a sarcastic smirk, “not good for a bounty hunter who has noisy feet,” and sat down near the lawbreaker’s fire upon asking if he might have a cup of coffee. And there were not that many outlaws that would turn down a cup of coffee to anyone who was now in deep trouble.

This plot was so slick that neither “Paladin,” or the jail-breaker asked, “what gave you away?” I mean, what was the point. The two men, the good and bad, heard something. Even the bad man’s horse heard something that alarmed it. I guess that the only wise living thing was “Paladin’s” horse who did not make any signs of a noise—it just stood still and acted cool.

 The professional tap shoes.
The professional tap shoes. | Source

The Shoes, No Matter

the make, are able to make noise. Take the photo in the top. These are professional tap shoes and people have made a good living tap dancing. The late Gregory Hines and Arthur Duncan are two who prospered greatly on the tap and I remember them both. I could them as a duo or a solo act and watch their brilliant tap dance routines all day long.

Maybe it was the choice of the scriptwriters who made the show’s plot be broadcast in this fashion. Then again, maybe not. I think it was some unknown law or something.

I have an idea! Take a good look at the white high heels in very top photo. There is not one woman who cannot steal a guy’s eye of appreciation when he hears the familiar sound of a woman’s high heels hitting the sidewalk. It’s the Law of Nature: Always seek out the pretty women who are adorned with high heels.

Since watching Have Gun—Will Travel, I took it on myself to watch several shows that portrayed a good dose of good versus evil in their characters—and I found out, (by my chagrin), that more than once did I witness the criminal sneaking up on our hero and then robbed the poor fella and laughing all the way to the bank.

And there is another Law of Nature: If you are entertaining the idea of wanting to become a burglar, don’t. Because somewhere at some time, a would-be convict could be lurking in the forbidden darkness and in a flash, your sneakers will betray you every time.

December 1, 2018_______________________________________________

Sample of a Bad Choice for Shoes to be Worn by a Burglar.
Sample of a Bad Choice for Shoes to be Worn by a Burglar. | Source

© 2018 Kenneth Avery


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    • profile image

      Ken Avery 

      21 months ago

      Mr. Happy -- you are, without a doubt, THE most-colorful, creative, and sharp-witted individual that I have ever met on and off of HubPages. And I cannot give you a fitting 'thank you' except thank you for the wonderful comments.

      But . . .do think about writing an auto-(or bio) graphy. I mean it. Do it in the style as the late Lewis Grizzard.

      I have to go for now. I am spent for one day and now I need rest.

      My friend, amigo, stay sane, and cool.


    • Mr. Happy profile image

      Mr. Happy 

      21 months ago from Toronto, Canada

      What's the difference between a "novel" and a "book"? You mention "novel" a lot. For me "novels" are for yuppies. "Novels" are for the glamorous, full of convinient lies, written by self-absorbed people who are so high on themselves that they think others aught to read what they write. Or, others will read what they write. (Now take that for a judgemental individual, haha!! I do judge, I will not lie. Most likely misguided here at least a little.)

      "Confession: I wish that I were as a talented writer as you are in commenting and of course, you are a talented writer." - Give me like ten more life-times and I might get close to your ability and talent for writing. No, Amigo. I am not even close to You. When I post a piece of writing here on Hub-pages, I consider myself lucky if I get sixty people to read it. What do You get on average, six thousand, or sixty thousand? Haha!!

      That's why I don't write for people. I write for myself and if others read, that's a bonus! I learn from my own writing. I'm selfish like that. Haha! All my writing is like a journal in a way, even if the writing is not all in journal format (some is).

      Alrighty, just thought I'd say that. Now, I gotta go back to writing. I hate copying ... it's such a pain. I have a piece I wrote many, many years ago but it's on paper. Now I gotta copy it on the computer. Me no like repetition! LOL

      Off I go now. Thank You for the conversations and have a blessed week-end!

    • profile image

      Kenny Avery 

      21 months ago

      Mr. Happy -- I am always, and I mean it, amazed at the depth and range that are contained in your comments. Confession: I wish that I were as a talented writer as you are in commenting and of course, you are a talented writer.

      Please devote some time in 2019 and think about writing a novel. Seriously.

      Merry CHRISTmas anda Happy New Year, Mr. Happy.

    • profile image


      21 months ago

      Have not in past few months been able to be on HubPages. Have been kept on the go since returning from Ireland. Kenneth I was enlivened and amused with this. I enjoyed it. Congrats to you and my Very Best Wishes. John

    • Mr. Happy profile image

      Mr. Happy 

      21 months ago from Toronto, Canada

      "sat down near the lawbreaker’s fire upon asking if he might have a cup of coffee" - "Got coffee?" LOL

      I did do a web search on that question and You're right, it's pretty common. Just not common with this mutant. I did mention English was my 4th language, right? Third now since I lost one along the road but still, English was the 4th language I had to learn to speak and write . I'm still learning it. Never heard of "got coffee?".

      That photo with the tap shoes is cool. I never saw tap shoes up close. Actually the only tap shoes I have seen, were on Fred Astaire's feet in some movies. The guy was fantastic! Never heard of: "Gregory Hines and Arthur Duncan". Me no English, haha!! : )

      "There is not one woman who cannot steal a guy’s eye of appreciation when he hears the familiar sound of a woman’s high heels hitting the sidewalk." - No. That does not work with me. My piano teacher was like one of my worst nightmares as a kid. When all other kids were out playing, I had to sit through piano lessons. Like $%^&ing piano lessons ... when everyone is out playing soccer! Sigh ... I could hear her (the piano teacher) shoes from the hallway of the building, before she reached the door to knock on. Toc-toc-toc-toc-toc ... #$%^ing nightmares, haha!! I even put laxative in her drink one day just to get her to go home early and let me Be.

      Now regarding noisy shoes, just take them off. If You want to walk quietly that is: no shoes. I've snuck-up on people before with this technique, so I speak from experience. If You want to go up wooden stairs quietly, use the sides of the stairs. The center makes the most noise. Anything else You wish to know for your next burglury, just let me know. Haha!! No, I'm joking. I do have limits in what I teach.

      Well, thank You for an enjoyable read and for reminding me of Fred Astaire. See what You did? Now You got me watching "A Damsel in Distress" lol

      Cheers! : )


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