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An Open Letter to Women Who Think They Are Not Good Enough

Clair is an introvert, programmer, Leo, photographer, and writer.

For Women Who Think That They Are Not Good Enough

For Women Who Think That They Are Not Good Enough

To all women out there who think that they are not good enough, this one is for you. I know that there are times when you question your worth, your great qualities, your beauty, and your standards. You have a lot of insecurities because you keep comparing yourself to other women. You are afraid to be yourself because you are afraid of being judged by others. You always put your needs last because you are too busy taking care of everyone’s needs first. You doubt yourself because you are afraid of making mistakes or being hurt again. You cry yourself to sleep every night and no one could save your heart from breaking.

I've been in your situation before. I know how badly it feels.

I was cheated on and not chosen. I felt my heart sank and a ball of dark clouds surrounded me for years. I compared myself to the woman he replaced me with and lost my faith in life and love. I blamed myself for not loving him enough for him to choose me. I felt like I was not enough because I cannot keep a man. My self-esteem and confidence were at the lowest. I jumped from one relationship to another in search of true love. Every relationship I’ve been with were just flings and none of them really satisfied my soul. Until I stopped looking for a man to love but instead, I decided to give myself the love I kept giving to the wrong men. I am still a work in progress but now, I am no longer desperate to be in a relationship just to be in one. I finally know my worth and what I can bring to any relationship I will have in the future. I am learning to become the right person so that if ever I will have a future relationship, I can love the other person right.

I also experienced being compared to my sister. To our family and friends, she's always the prettier, smarter, more confident and basically, the better one. I was always in her shadow and people only know me as her sister. I was looking for validation from people around me and constantly sought attention from anyone. I used to fall easily for someone who gave me the least bit of attention. I got used to guys talking to me to ask about my sister. I was the reserved, ugly, less intelligent and unpopular one. I became comfortable with being in the background and hid my skills, intelligence, and potential so I wouldn't dull my sister's shine. Until I gained friends and learned to be comfortable in my own skin. I realized that there’s nothing wrong with me and I just haven’t found my right kind of people who will accept me.

To all my beautiful ladies reading this right now, don’t let anyone dull your sparkle. You are complete, beautiful, and amazing on your own. If you are broken hearted right now, I give you a warm and tight hug. I know that life can be painful at times but the trials we face are meant to make us stronger. I am rooting for you. I know that you are capable of so much in life and all the tears you have cried are not for nothing. You deserve all the good things in life so please, never settle for anything less than you truly deserve. Don’t be afraid to be your true self and the right people will come to you. Whether you are single or in a relationship right now, never lose yourself in someone. Continue to invest in your growth, don’t be too hard on yourself, and don’t forget to love yourself.

I hope that when you look back in time, you’ll be very proud of how much you have grown. You’ll be thankful for the painful lessons and look at them with a smile on your face. You became a bigger person. You didn’t let your painful past harden your heart but instead, you chose to be kind and understanding. You didn’t go back to the people who once hurt you because you know that it will never serve you.

Don't let the people who failed to love you convince you that you are not deserving of true love. If you have been lied to, cheated on or left behind, there is nothing wrong with you. You deserve so much better and there's something greater in store for you. Don't lose hope and never change yourself or sell yourself short. A great woman like you deserves a great man who knows your worth and how rare your love is. Even if you don’t find that guy, you are nothing short of amazing. I hope that you will always remember that.

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