Am I Making Him Happy?
Am I truly Making Him Happy?
I don’t know if any other newlywed feel like this, but I was so confident in everything before me and my husband were married. There was no doubt in my mind I had him wrapped around my pinky finger. Then we had a beautiful wedding and then it happened. The doubt, the worry, oh and the fear. Nothing should of changed, I mean I have been living with the same man since 2005, why did my confidence level drop down a notch after the wedding? I began worrying about things that I never worried about before. Him cheating, finances, am I making him happy emotionally? What about physically? What about sexually? Is this normal? Where are all these negative emotions coming from? What do I have to be worried about?
Believe it or not I just read an article for post-wedding depression. Yes! I didn’t know it was such a thing either! After reading it, I came to the conclusion I am not depressed, a little crazy maybe, but definitely not depressed. I think after all the excitement died down, reality set in. I was on a cloud the whole 2 months to plan the wedding, (yes I planned and executed a wedding in just 2 months, on a budget! It can be done! I’ll write about that on another post.) And on the day of was the most happiest time in my life. So why all the insecure feelings? Why all of a sudden I’m feeling insecure in my marriage?
When entering a union with God, you better believe it’s a celebration in Heaven! I imagined God being very proud of his children and the Angels singing! Our lost loved ones were looking down on us proud that we came together in this beautiful sacred union. In this spiritual union, we become one with our patner. Marriage is a selfless act. In Ephesians 5:21-32 God states,
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of his body.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
This is why the devil wants me to believe my husband isn’t happy with me. He doesn’t want me to be happy under God’s union, so he will try everything in the book to have me believe my marriage is not good. And it is good under Gods watch. My pastor told me the biggest trials and tribulations comes when the Devil sees my focus on the Lord and he will try his mightiest for me to stray from my vows and have me believing those nasty thoughts in my head when my husband gave me no reason to be thinking them in the first place. So from now on any thought that isn’t a pure or clean, I immediately erase it from my thoughts and I replace them with good thoughts. Besides, I shouldn’t even be worried, my husband married an amazing woman if I do say so myself! Hello World! I’m Kenya and welcome to my life!
© 2017 Kenya Averette