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Am Still Trying to Get Used To


If I could play the guitar, I'd probably sing to you everyday. I'd probably even have it strapped around me all the times, thinking of new lyrics to sing to.

Am sure my singing is messy, I know it's actually more than messed up, but I'd enjoy you smile along to my craziness. I'd enjoy each moment, and store them in my heart cause that's where they belong.
In my head, I don't really want to make promises because my head is more than just broken. I don't want to make promises because I know am forgetful. I don't want to make promises because I don't want to let you down. I don't want to make promises that might break me down. I don't want to make promises that I'll end regretting .
I can't promise that I'll always be there, but I'll try to make up for times I might not be there. Ill be there when you need me.
Am still in state if transisting from thinking about me alone. Of late I seem to be thinking about you. Am still trying to get used to the fact that i don't always have to watch over my back when I have you by my side. Am still adapting to the fact that i have to calm my heart down when you are around. Am still swallowing the fact that i have a hand I can hold on to and feel safe when am scared. .
I don't have to go outside moon watching alone at night..
.. Am still figuring out if music is my thing, just because of you.

I personally think am going crazy. I feel like I am at some safe house that has everything I ever wanted. I feel like me and the moon are actually talking, and the stars just watching over me.

I feel like am in heaven ,literally . And I can't honestly really put across what am actually feeling because I don't know what am feeling. At times it's like the gates of blessings just burst open for me, others it's like all my prayers just got answered.
I can't describe, I can't tell what it is with you...
Am hoping it doesn't have to end.
. Am hoping it could be eternal.
Am hoping time didn't have to pass by so fast when are around.....

© 2019 Amani Utembu


BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on March 24, 2019:

Lovely. I enjoyed reading this piece of work.

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