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A Lost Friend: A Letter


Have you ever wondered why it did not work out with a specific person? Why your soul aches for their kiss on your cheek and their goofy jokes? I had a person in my life who meant the world.

I'd love to send them letters and postcards from around the world, wishing them well but I have no idea where to find them: in heaven or back in Oklahoma.

The last time I touch their face, we promised to not kiss with our eyes, but our hands couldn't resist: I can still see my hand run through his dark messy hair. I don't remember exactly what they look like without looking at a photo, but I remember the wrinkles under their eyes as they smiled at me. The way their arms wrapped around my back as we said goodbye, for the last time - I was on my toes, wishing to be close to that person.

Oh dear friend,

I'm going away and you know nothing. I'd like to spent my last couple of months with you by my side but you kicked me out of your life. I always wondered why you left: was I a burden? Was I making your mental health worse? It was not my intention.

You are probably smelling like coffee and creating art with your cords during the weekend. I have no idea what your voice sounds like anymore, but I am sure it was the sweetest I had ever heard.

My tears cannot stop dropping over my phone as I write this in the middle of the night, but I know you are happier now.

I'm going back to France and I will feel an emptiness as I move into my new apartment.

Will you even remember me in ten years? Will you remember the two-day trip we took and stayed up late, eating cake and looking at each other's eyes?

Soulmates are not always lovers: I had a soulmate who I considered my best friend, without being attracted to him. I think we are- I mean were- soulmates: we both loved poetry and we understood each other so well. When we were together, we made each other laugh andour hearts could not have been happier.

Please stay alive.
No more car crashes.
Do not forget Winchester because it's engraved in my heart until I die.

This is for you. This is my letter to you,

Your beetle

© 2020 Anastassia de Bailliencourt

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