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A Poultry Article About Giving Chickens and Cattle a Much-Needed Break

Kenneth, born and raised in the South, resides in Hamilton, Alabama. He enjoys sharing his unique perspectives on life through his writing.

 Dr. Duane Boyd from the Canadian Food Inspection Agency inspects every pheasant as the conveyor line moves past the inspection station.

Dr. Duane Boyd from the Canadian Food Inspection Agency inspects every pheasant as the conveyor line moves past the inspection station.

Oct. 18: this was written from the hours of 5 p.m. and 11:30 p.m.

* there are no mentions whatsoever that might tend to lead people into thinking that the topic of this narrative is about selling chicken and beef.

I drank several cups of black coffee. (I won't mention the brand).

I'm gonna sound like PETA before this narrative is finished, but I couldn't care less. Live and let eat, is my motto. I, nor anyone else drawing breath has the authority (or qualifications) to make drastic, life-ending judgments as is done every day at some smelly, stuffy, chicken processing plant where most of the employees are Mexican immigrants and are glad to have (right at) minimum wage for their work.

Let me ask you: when was the last time you really thought about chickens? Be honest. Like me, probably not ever. I didn't think much about chickens, the poor discarded birds of American diets, before watching a certain TV ad from a major chicken brand that is available in the majority of our supermarkets. Their ad is laughable. Even deporable if you have the right mindset and not thinking of yourself as I once did. I urge you to watch this chicken commercial and it is not from KFC, although I feel the same resentment about them as I do this perky, chippy-looking bunch of actors who make producing chickens a great job. Even the chickens seen in this ad are clucking around their climate controlled, feed-measured bowls in order for (this) chicken company to sell top grade chickens.

But no one ever stopped to ask how these chickens who were obviously living in fear, how do you feel about living a partial life here at so and so farms? I didn't get spammy on this, editors who read my hubs. I think you know the company whom I am talking about--and how very sickening I am at even watching such an ad on my TV. I think that I will sit down and write "this" company a heated e-mail and let these yokels know that I for one do not appreciate your hypocricy when it pertains to how your ad paints a pretty picture about producing happy chickens only to have their lives pulled from underneath their little feet and you know what happens next. I don't have the nerve or stomach to go into such details as those I have watched on another site.

Happy chickens! Are you kidding me? How in God's creation do you, this big chicken conglomerate know if your chickens are happy or not? Have you invested a special Happy Scale in Chickens Machine where you sit each chicken at random times each day to gauge and document whether they are living the good life or not? If I were a gambler, I'd go all in and bet that your company as well as other chicken factories are not investing such cash to produce happy chickens. To me, and I've looked, most chickens, in captivity or free, all look the same. They cluck the same, so tell me, how would you go about proving that your chickens are the "happy chickens?" Your motto sounds much like a garage band in the 60s that almost made it in the Rock Music business and then their band got hooked on a certain substance and just faded away with dazed looks on your faces.

Say, C.E.O and top level management of "this" chicken company, if you did have a way to prove that your chickens are all happy, then what do you if your Happy Scale in Chickens Machine kicks out a red ticket reading . . ."Mad Chick" with a loud, annoying buzzing going off? Huh? You don't know? Well, sir(s), I would be finding out for one of these days, a couple of people from the Food and Drug Administration just might draw your name from their derby hats and go on a random "Chicken Happiness Check" just to show irate citizens like myself that your company does produce happy chickens and there is no smoke or mirrors in your company to achieve such results.

I never like to throw salt in your wound, but see if your board of directors might kick in a few extra million to get an app on your Happy Scale in Chickens that would instantly toss-out another warning ticket, (except in Yellow), that indicates "Mad Chicken Disease" which might prove as lethal as the Mad Cow Disease that appeared in our country a few years ago. You must have seen it. It was the rage all over the major news outlets and on front pages of all major newspapers. All I am doing is giving you some needed, friendly advice on how to live up to what your company is advertising.

And while I am at it, did you, the upper management of this huge chicken factory do the screening for the actors for the TV commercial that you are running? Or maybe these people are real employees of your huge chicken factory. Well? Are they? Just a thought, but each time I watch your TV ad, these actors are all smiling and I mean everyone in the ad theme. Even the young guy trying to nail a board onto a fence and smiling at the same time. This guy looks to be about 18, single, and looking to score with any available girls who will talk to him--and by the way, what 18-year-old male smiles while doing manual labor this day and time? Even if the young man is the C.E.O.'s only son, he needs to look more sincere than he does now. I say these things for I used to analyze display ads for the newspaper that I retired from and in the spirit of total honesty . . .the actors in your ad (young guy included) do not look real.

It's about truth and honesty, guys and girls who run this huge chicken factory. If I were you, I would scrap this chicken commercial and re-shoot it, but use a good dose of honesty--used with real people in the ad as well as where these so-called "happy" chickens are processed. More like "how" they are processed. But I guess that would be going a bit too far if it were up to you. Today's consumer does appreciate truth and honesty . . .but only in a moderate level.

Frankly, when I watched a few black and white videos who by the way were bootlegged by an undercover Food and Drug Administration employee investigating slaughter houses who process beef, pork and yes, chicken, I can tell you first-hand, my stomach turned and I thought to myself, dear God, please do not allow me to have an appetite for such living things as are used to stock the shelves in our supermarkets.

Hey, I am all for a successful free enterprise system here in the Land of Opportunity, but why not let me and other people who are now former meat and poultry disciples, start an educational program where your company would be willing to open your doors and show the truth of how your beef and poultry is processed.

Just maybe you could take those millions in TV ads, "Happy Guage Machine" and devote a few hundred or two thousand acres of growing fresh, healthy, and delicious vegetables and fruit. Think this would work? To borrow one of the late Robert Kennedy's catch phrases, "some people have dreams--and ask why. I have dreams and ask why not?"

What would be so wrong in just allowing the millions of innocent lives of the chickens, cattle, and even rabbits, living their lives out just like nature intended? Oh, sure, you snap, our chicken and cattle factories would be shut down and when this happened, there would then be a nation-wide economic crash to say nothing about the meteoric-rise of the unemployed.

With all of this sudden economic changes, we would be more indebted now than ever for our nation's farmers. Think about it. Of course there would no longer be any cattle farmers, but a bumper crop of very tasty and healthy vegetables and fruit that our food-driven society could easily live on and there is a bonus: we would be having longer, healthier lives. Do you want to argue now?

"But, Kenneth," you say. "what will become of the world's cattle, chickens, and other living things that we were accustomed to eating?"

Easy. Our nation's children would love to make pets with the love-starved cattle and chickens. Senior citizens living in assisted living centers would be able (with help) to be driven outside to enjoy the company of a calf or maybe talk to a chicken or two. All of this is very possible. And with enough trying and sincere attitude, we just might be a cattle and chicken-free world.

Then with our world now enjoying a new and healthy lifestyle. People would be laughing and the stressful lives that the thousands of cattle and chicken factories once employed would now be re-educated and be able to help a farmer with his now-huge acreage or even buy a few hundred acres of his own to have his own farm.

The sky's the limit. Uhhh, wait a minute. Ohhh, me. Then we who got the cattle and chicken freed would have to set our sights on the world's seafood industry. Crab, shrimp, and scallops have feelings too. So do the earthworm diets that some in our world love to belly-up to the table and enjoy your "Earthworm Buffet."

But what about the wasps, hornets, yellow jackets, honey bees and uh, oh . . .the ants?

Heavens to Betsy! I think Chicken Little was right.

Workers in beef slaughter house use hooks to hold processed beef.

Workers in beef slaughter house use hooks to hold processed beef.

© 2017 Kenneth Avery

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