A Letter to my Best Friend Who I Lost This Week. I Will Never Forget You - LetterPile - Writing and Literature
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A Letter to my Best Friend Who I Lost This Week. I Will Never Forget You

Author:

Ripples In A Pond

How do I start? What can I say? Why did you have to go. You made the whole world light up with your amazing laugh. I smile when I remember. But let me start at the beginning. We were ten years old, and we had just started high school. You came into the classroom, looking so serious and only sat next to me because you couldn't find a seat. We looked at each other. We were so different, you were clever and popular, I was shy and quiet. It took us a while to understand our humour and ways, but we did. Oh how we did, we laughed and went to the park, we played jokes and giggled for hours. For six whole years we stuck together like glue until the time came for us to leave school. I found a job straight away, in an office near my home. Starting work on the first day, I walked in, and there you were! You had got the job as well! I remember the look on your face when I walked in, it was so funny I wanted to take a picture. So there we were, starting our new lives but still together.

At sixteen we decided we were old enough to go to the pub. We weren't supposed to, so we made up so many stories to convince our parents that we were at youth club. How we laughed. We started dating at the same time, going to clubs and meetings, along with our other new friend. I remember those days through a haze of rose coloured memories. Laughing, dancing, meeting loads of boys and discovering how it was to be a young adult.

I remember the first time that I cried with laughter so much I couldn't stand. I had arranged to meet you in the pub and you were late. The music was playing, we were all dancing. Then suddenly we could hear above the sound of the music, clip clop clip clip bang! Then the whole pub was echoing with your laughter. It reverberated around the room, and everybody stopped what they were doing and looked towards the door. There you were, on the floor in your high platform heels, screaming with laughter because you had tripped up on the way in. No, you hadn't had a drink. You didn't need one to laugh like that. I remember looking around at the other customers. They were laughing. but not at you, with you. I started to laugh and I laughed and laughed until I cried.

Over the next few years the three of us went everywhere together. We had so much fun, but in the midst of all the dancing and music, there was you with your laughter. We said it sounded like a hyena! That made you laugh even more. And clumsy! My were you clumsy! You would breeze into the club, yelling hello to everyone, and swing your handbag around on your shoulder, and whoomp! You knocked over everybody's drink on the table. They got so used to it that they moved their drinks when you walked in! Ha Ha. Oh and that time when you rushed into the ladies bathroom to get to the toilet, and you suddenly shot back out and fell to the floor! I stood in amazement as you burst into laughter again. What had you done? You had caught your sleeve on the door handle and it had catapulted you out the door! We three laughed so much we had to go in separate directions! The pain of laughing was too much!

I got married, then a year later so did you. We still saw each other. Do you remember the time when you fell asleep in your car with your husband, and woke up fifty miles away, because your car had been towed onto a lorry by mistake? You had both drank so much that night you didn't even wake up! But you told the story so well, I fell about laughing for a week.

 And that was your talent. Your so special talent.

Not just the funny things that you did, but the way you told the story. Clumsy, jolly full of laughter, you.

The years passed and you moved to America, but I always knew when you were coming back. Oh, I didn't need the phone to tell me. I just knew.

So many times I would phone you at your mother's house when you had only just walked in the door. 'How did you know I just got of the plane?' you would say. I would just smile and say, 'Don't be stupid, you know how I knew' And she did. It was uncanny. But she accepted my telepathic ways, and thought they were funny. You moved back to England and we started on the pub circuit again. By now we were in our thirties. My son was in his teens and yours were babies. But I noticed that you had started to drink quite a lot.

The pebble dropped in the pond.

Your husband left you, and you broke. I could see it, but you picked yourself up and carried on. But the drink became your bolster. You met and fell in love again. But he wasn't good for you, but you loved him so much. I could still see the girl who was my best friend inside you, but drink was taking it's hold and you could never be without a glass in your hand. Then he died, and you shattered. You ran away for six months, until one day I received a letter.

Please come and get me. So I got on the bus, I didn't have much money, and came to where you were. I grabbed your case, your dog and you.

I took you home.

I believe if you had been left alone at this point, you would have been fine. But He followed you. He was a man who had helped you when you ran away. He was an alcoholic. I told you to leave him, but you said you needed him.

One ripple in the pond.

I never saw you. You never came. I heard that He was taking drugs and drinking. Then one day you turned up at my door. The laughter was still there, but there was an edge to you. It frightened me. You were hard. Mentally and physically. But the girl I knew and loved was still there. I should have done something, I should have got you away. But I was afraid. I had my own nightmares. My mother had died, and my dad. I was broken and couldn't help you.

Two ripples in the pond..

You had two children, a girl and a boy. The boy stayed with you, and started to drink. Last year I heard the terrible news that he had taken something, collapsed and was now in a coma for life. My hands shook as I took the phone call from our friend. I was heartbroken. But deep in the back of my mind I knew. I just knew. You could go two ways. Stop drinking and be strong.

Or drink and die.

Three ripples in the pond.

You couldn't handle seeing him like this. Who could? I started to keep in touch with your mum, tried to phone you. I got through once. You didn't sound like you. You were shattered. I put the phone down after speaking to you, and I was shaking. You ended up in hospital. No, You would be fine, they said. But I didn't understand what was wrong. I thought it was your mind. But it wasn't. It was your body. The stress and drink had taken it's toll.

You passed away on Sunday. Your mother phoned me. The family is broken. What started as four, husband wife, boy and girl, is no more. Your daughter went to America to try to get used to her brother being in hospital, she is coming home tomorrow, to bury her mum.

Four ripples in a pond.

What starts as a small pebble falling into the water, will cause ripples to grow and grow until they cascade outwards into chaos. I will never see her again. I loved her.

She was my friend.

a-letter-to-my-best-friend-who-i-lost-this-week-i-will-never-forget-you

Heaven will a happier place

With the sound of your laughter

- 

We laughed, we played

We sang, we were loved

We had fun and music

And children and laughter

My life has been enriched, because of you.

Comments

Nell Rose (author) from England on August 31, 2020:

Thank you so much Janeffer. Yes it was very hard at the time, and I do still miss her.

Janeffer Ruo on August 31, 2020:

I'm really sorry for your loss Nell. Nobody deserves to lose a friend. The memories you both hard were very beautiful both the happy and the sad. Keep them and let them be a part of what she left behind when she went. Be happy for her coz she's now at a better place.

Nell Rose (author) from England on April 12, 2020:

Thank you so much Peg. I still miss her dearly. You take care.

Peg Cole from Northeast of Dallas, Texas on April 11, 2020:

Oh Nell. What a beautiful story of your friendship and sadly, your loss. My heart goes out to you. We are never the same when we lose someone we love so dearly and have shared so much of our history together. Everything reminds us of them. We wish we could pick up the phone and talk to them just once more. Like it used to be. So sorry my friend.

Nell Rose (author) from England on June 15, 2018:

Thank you Eileen.

Ethel Smith from Kingston-Upon-Hull on June 15, 2018:

Poignant and a hard one to write. xx

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 03, 2018:

Oh Jean, I am so sorry. its horrible isnt it? they are so bright, that when it goes out it leaves that glow behind. and all we really want is that light back. thank you for reading.

Jean Bakula from New Jersey on May 02, 2018:

Oh Nell,

I don't what led me to read this tonight. I had a friend who I dearly loved, in very similar circumstances. She met the wrong men and let them drag her down. She drank and did drugs. But she was so smart and we had so much fun in our school years, and as young mothers. Her kids were older than mine, and when she left her abusive husband, I hoped it would be a new start. But she met someone even worse. She stayed for years as he wore away at the person she was and she lost her confidence. She put up a brave fight when she had cervical cancer, and even when it came back and she decided she wouldn't fight it again. It's been 12 years now, but I still hear her laugh and remember the crazy things we used to do. I wouldn't trade a minute, and still sometimes begin to pick up the phone to call her.

Nell Rose (author) from England on June 08, 2015:

Thanks Suzette, this was a couple of years ago now, since then I have lost my other best friend too, I still miss them both, thanks, nell

suzettenaples on June 08, 2015:

I send you my condolences on the loss of your friend. This tribute is amazing! You were a true friend to this woman and you loved her with an unconditional love . Beautiful read!

Nell Rose (author) from England on December 16, 2013:

Thanks so much psychicdog, yes I still miss her so much, nell

psychicdog.net on December 15, 2013:

That was so moving Nell - such a beautiful tribute. Lots of love.

Nell Rose (author) from England on November 14, 2013:

Thanks so much for reading WiccanSage, this was a couple of years ago now, but I still miss her so much. I hear her laugh in my head when I see something funny that makes me giggle, and then it makes me sad too.

Mackenzie Sage Wright on November 14, 2013:

This brought tears to my eyes, it was so touching to read about your experience with your friend. Thanks so much for sharing this beautiful story.

Nell Rose (author) from England on September 19, 2013:

Thanks Rolly, this was a couple of years ago now, and even though I still miss her terribly I can smile and 'hear' her laugh when something funny happens, so thats amazing, have a great day rolly!

Rolly A Chabot from Alberta Canada on September 19, 2013:

Hi Nell.... I am so sorry for your loss and yet deep inside I know you understand you have been blessed with a wonderful friendship. Such a friendship will continue to live on through you in so many ways. Stay strong and know that you are dearly loved by all whom you touch...

Love from Canada

Nell Rose (author) from England on August 30, 2013:

Hi molly, she did have red hair occasionally, she always dyed it different colors. its a while ago now, but I still hear her laughter when I find something funny, I still miss her so terribly. Thanks so much for reading, nell

Mary Strain from The Shire on August 29, 2013:

Nell, I just stumbled across this on Pinterest. This is beautifully written. I can almost see your friend...for some reason, I see her as a redhead. She sounds like she was a lot of fun. I'm sorry for your loss, and hope that time eases your pain.

Nell Rose (author) from England on November 07, 2012:

Thank you so much lechelle, I really appreciate your words, nell

lechelle greene on November 06, 2012:

i'm so sorry love the story it touched me deeply may her soul rest in perfect peace

Nell Rose (author) from England on June 13, 2012:

Hi Type, thank you so much for reading, I am sorry that you have gone through it too?

Type 1 Diabetes from Cheshire on June 13, 2012:

Nell, what a beautiful friend she had in you. Writing all of this will be helping you I know. This is what I did for my daughter so I know why you are doing it.

Best wishes and keep your chin up.

Babs

Nell Rose (author) from England on April 02, 2012:

Hi, kelley, thanks so much, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on April 02, 2012:

Hi, Sunnie, thank you, its been a while now, but I can suddenly think of something and she rushes back into my mind, thanks so much, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on April 02, 2012:

Hi, Victoria, we had the best friendship, and I honestly think that I have never laughed so much as when I was with her, thanks for reading, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on April 02, 2012:

Hi, tillsontitan, thanks so much, I do wish I could have helped her more, but as you said she chose this way of life, but its so sad.

Nell Rose (author) from England on April 02, 2012:

Thanks PDX, I still miss her, I sometimes 'hear' her voice in my head, and see her smile.

kelleyward on April 02, 2012:

Beautifully written. What a loss. So sorry...

Sunnie Day on April 02, 2012:

Nell I am so very sorry for your loss. No words seem like enough. I do hope by writing this beautiful letter that it has helped ease the pain. You were a wonderful friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love,

Sunnie

Victoria Lynn from Arkansas, USA on April 02, 2012:

Wow, so powerful. What a friendship you had. I hate to hear of things falling apart. This was a beautifully written hub. Many votes.

Mary Craig from New York on April 02, 2012:

Nell, I'm sorry I'm so late responding to this. I feel your pain and hope your sorrow has become more bearable. I know your memories are all you have left and they will stay with you for a lifetime. The laughter you hear in your heart will help you remember. You have no reason to regret, your friend unfortunately chose her life. You were always there for her and were a true and wonderful friend something I'm sure she was grateful for. God Bless.

Justin W Price from Juneau, Alaska on April 02, 2012:

beautiful tribute, now... and so sorry for your loss

Nell Rose (author) from England on March 30, 2012:

Hi, Kebbennett, I am so sorry for your loss, that must have been such a shock. And to lose two such good friends must be so heartbreaking, my friend died over a year ago now, but I can still hear her laughter whenever something funny happens, and it makes me smile, and then cry a little, take care and thank you for reading, nell

Kebennett1 from San Bernardino County, California on March 29, 2012:

Oh Nell, I understand your pain so much. I lost my best friend Michael to Hep C six years ago Dec 2012. He had been a drug addict and alcoholic who finally got free from his addictions the last 16 years of his life but finally succumbed to liver failure. I miss him so very much. We did everything together. He was disabled and couldn't work because of his bad knees and the Hep C. so we spent nearly every day together while my husband worked. HE WAS A TRUE FRIEND TO BOTH OF US. I think about him so often and miss his companionship.

Then I met Jeannie last year, she was an alcohol trying to quit drinking. She had 3rd stage liver disease. She was haunted by voices that told her she was a terrible person. I always made sure to tell her how much she was loved and what a wonderful person and friend she was. She had become like a Sister to me and she helped me take care of my 73 year old Mother. She was an angel to me. This morning I called to see if she wanted to go to lunch with Mom and I and her boyfriend informed me that she passed away during the night. It hurts so bad. I will miss her so much. Like your friend she and my Michael were full of laughter and had beautiful smiles.

I pray that you will heal quickly and that your friend is safe in the hands of GOD.

Nell Rose (author) from England on January 20, 2012:

Thanks kelley.

kelleyward on January 20, 2012:

Beautiful!

Nell Rose (author) from England on January 19, 2012:

Thank you Jack, I really appreciate it, nell

Jack on January 19, 2012:

Beautiful. You are a wonderful friend.

Nell Rose (author) from England on December 20, 2011:

Hi, stacey I am so sorry to hear that, its a hard thing to have to hear, a year on I still think of my friend but I am beginning to be able to smile when I think of her now, and talk about her and the things we did together, you will hurt and feel lost for a while, but things do get better I promise you, take care, and just be there for your friend, I never had the chance because we didn't realise how bad she was, cherish the time you have with her these are what makes the memories, nell

stacey allam on December 19, 2011:

I have a friend who was just diagnosed. There is not a childhood memory that doesn't have her attached to it letters cant expressed all that I feel

Nell Rose (author) from England on November 07, 2011:

Hi, ubanichijioke, thank you so much, nell

Alexander Thandi Ubani from Lagos on November 07, 2011:

Wow! This was compelling, sweet, sad, interesting and wonderful story. Well written. Awesome!

Nell Rose (author) from England on October 30, 2011:

Hi, wynot1, thank you so much for reading, cheers nell

whynot1 on October 30, 2011:

Beautiful. You are a wonderful friend.

Nell Rose (author) from England on October 29, 2011:

Hi, iain, thanks so much, its nearly a year ago now, but I still miss her, cheers nell

iain-mars from United Kingdom on October 29, 2011:

A fabulous tribute and send off for your friend. So sorry to hear about your loss but hopefully you will meet again one day!

victoria from Hamilton On. on October 28, 2011:

Thanks Nell. Take care.

Nell Rose (author) from England on October 28, 2011:

Hi, baygirl, I am so sorry for your loss, I know those words are said so often, but I do understand. I lost my mom and dad ten years ago, and the grief seems overwhelming, they say it gets better in time, and it does, but there are times when it will overcome you again, and you just have to try and work your way through it, but the one thing I do know is never blame yourself or think you could have done something, we all do and say that, we are just human with our flaws and our hopes, even if we could see what was happening could it have made a difference? maybe, maybe not, but it would have happened another time, take care and look after yourself, nell

victoria from Hamilton On. on October 28, 2011:

Hi Nell.Thanks for sharing.Ijust lost my husband and think I'll just wither away.Like you,I keep wondering if I could have done something to keep him here with me,but going over it all a thousand times just keeps me crying.

I am crying for my lonliness but mostly for him and wishing he were here to do the things we planned and saved for.

Nell Rose (author) from England on October 19, 2011:

Hi, lyric, thanks so much, it will be a year next month when she went, still find it hard to believe, cheers nell

Richard Ricky Hale from West Virginia on October 19, 2011:

Wow Nell, so sorry for your loss. When you hit these bumps or ripples as uou describe, it is easy for a person to get caught in the flood so to say. One after another, you friend went through such traggic events that would have put a person down long before she ever was Nell. It shows how strong your friend was and how much you cared. In a world to her that was what it was, it is good knowing that she atleast had you. It is hard to say the right things at time like these, but you keep her name alive by writing this article. A very great tribute. May you find peace in due time.

Nell Rose (author) from England on October 18, 2011:

Hi, Aceblogs, thank you so much. I still miss her, and my dreams are always revolved around her, seems that the more I don't see her because she is no longer here, the more I remember of her, its nearly a year now, unbelievable, thanks nell

Aceblogs from India on October 18, 2011:

All i will say is - Remarkable effort and i am glad that if your friend is watching from heaven , your friendship will be cherished for putting so much in it even after she is not there with you. I had tears in my eyes while reading it . I wish i too could have had a friend as caring and loving like you.

Nell Rose (author) from England on September 13, 2011:

Hi, naturalsolutions, thank you so much, and I will always remember her, thank you for reading, I appreciate your comment, cheers nell

naturalsolutions on September 12, 2011:

It is a great story, i hope there's a lot of story like yours in hubpages. Well all i can say is, life's goes on. You have face it now on your own. But don't be sad, i know the friends of yours are always guiding you. Don't be sad every time you remember the old days but laugh or smile. I know it is really hard but the is the only thing you can do for your childhood friend.

Nell Rose (author) from England on June 23, 2011:

Hi, Lisa, that's awful, and nobody knew why? it is so sad when someone can't or won't tell what's going on in their head, and then its too late, thank you for reading, cheers nell

Lisa Mae DeMasi on June 22, 2011:

Loss hurts. Especially when it is someone so close and has so much life left to live. My 39 year old brother in law hanged himself to death on Thanksgiving 5 years ago. He is survived by my younger sister and three children. He chose Thanksgiving Day as a particular marker. It still is incomprehensible.

Nell Rose (author) from England on June 16, 2011:

Hi, Cathy, thanks so much, it doesn't seem like nearly 7 months ago now, I can still hear her voice in my head when I laugh, thanks nell

Cathy I from New York on June 16, 2011:

This was so touching and so beautiful....made me remember my best friend growing up. We are still there for each other no matter how far apart we are. The memories are yours to treasure, but the pain will only go away with time. You too gave her beautiful memories that hopefully helped her to get through some of life's roughest storms.

She had a wonderful friend in you for you continue to keep her memory alive and to teach a lessonto those who need it with your story.

Nell Rose (author) from England on June 06, 2011:

Hi, Mrs J.B. thank you for being so kind, she was my best friend for nearly 40 years, and it still seems very strange, I am so sorry about your friend too, thanks, nell

Mrs. J. B. from Southern California on June 04, 2011:

I cried because I know you remembered the dear friend you had so many years ago. You think about the old times you shared. The young the innocent. My best friend died 3 years ago. You will always remember them. I loved this hub.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 24, 2011:

Hi, Lucky Cats, thanks for reading it, she was my best friend for years, I just wish I could have helped her, cheers nell

Kathy from The beautiful Napa Valley, California on May 23, 2011:

Nell Rose, I am so sorry about this. You lost a loved one..this is a hard thing to experience. you have written a beautiful eulogy to her. If only she could read this..what a gift. What a friend you were and are, Nell Rose. This is such a tender hub. Please accept my sympathy and empathy. I hope writing this has served to soften your grief a little bit. Of course, this is awesome and beautiful. thank you.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 15, 2011:

Hi, celeB, thanks so much, cheers nell

celeBritys4africA from Las Vegas, NV on May 09, 2011:

So sad. Awesome tribute, awesome hub!

Nell Rose (author) from England on April 13, 2011:

Hi, Spirit, thank you, she was my friend since we were ten years old, and it still seems so very strange, I will always miss her, thanks nell

Hi, Sister Mary, thanks so much, in the end I had to get away from her because as I said she was getting to much to handle at that time, I will remember her as she used to be, cheers nell

Sister Mary from Isle of Man on April 13, 2011:

Nell, this is a very moving tribute to your friend. You did all you could for her in her final years and the best choice you made was that separation you spoke off to another follower. It saved you and your son. You are in my thoughts.

Xavier Nathan from Isle of Man on April 12, 2011:

Nell this is a very touching story and I feel for your loss. Nobody escapes the pain of this final parting but you are right when you say your life is richer for having known her. You are very lucky to have such special people in your life and your friend has passed on there are many around you still alive. And judging from all these comments you have many more than you probably imagined.Thank you for sharing this.

Nell Rose (author) from England on March 27, 2011:

Hi, tom, thats an amazing story, I can't wait to come over and read them, thank you so much, nell

tom hellert from home on March 26, 2011:

Nelly,

i have great news for you- if your friend was even a decent person- i know where she went- and that place is better than any place she could go to, I was there for just a little bit only a few minutes and it was more peaceful and calm than any day i have ever spent on earth-living in Buffalo- for sure i felt a calm over my body that was so..."mellow".. more calm than an early summer morning where you just get that comfortable temp your just waking up and a light breeze hits you... So take heart your friend is in a better place - trust me I was there for more informtion I have 3 hubs on it I am not sure if they have been hub nuked). So checkem out- if you already have- cool if not it will make you feel better - I hope it will. also If I already commented on this- and you read my stuff- thanks

Peace to you and worry not your friend is in a far far better place take heart in that and worry no more....

TH

Nell Rose (author) from England on March 18, 2011:

Hi, Scarlet, sorry it took me so long to get back to you, and thanks for reading it, It is so hard to lose a friend this way, I feel like I should have done something for her a long time ago. The strange thing was that when I found out my friend was also in hospital I was actually going to visit her on the day she died, if only I had, but life threw something in my way and I never got there on time, thanks so much nell

Scarlett Black from New York on March 16, 2011:

I am blown away at this. It is lovely. I find it interesting as I had a similar experience. I had a very special friend when I was young. We lost touch for some series reasons. Then 25 years later she came back into my life and was there just like before. Only I could not really recognize her. Her spirit was there and her voice buther face was not hte same. We struck up a close frienship again. WHat I did not know was that she had been a huge alcoholic her whole life and was dying of Liver Failure and did not tell me. I knew something was wrong but she would bever say and told me she no longer drank. Well after about 6 months she turned yellow and was admitted to the hospital. I really had no idea she would die 5 weeks after going to the hospital. I was with her in the room just the two of us as she drew her last breath. I am honored to have been there. It has been very hard not too mention sad that this happened to a pretty young women. I love your letter I may do the same. I hope you are doing well.

Nell Rose (author) from England on March 14, 2011:

Hi, kim thank you so much, we did have some great times together, I will miss her, cheers nell

Hi, Tatara, I totally understand it does hurt doesn't it? thank you so much, nell

Tatara from Asia on March 13, 2011:

I feel the same way about my mother. When I go to our favorite places or eat our favorite food, I get a lump in my throat.

Kim Harris on March 12, 2011:

so sorry, nell. I can't imagine having a best friend since the age of ten. How wonderful. It would have been so difficult watching her life, and then learning of her death. You were blessed to have a best friend, and have sorrow because you had a best friend. I hope you find peace and comfort in your grief, Nell.

Nell Rose (author) from England on March 10, 2011:

Hi, duffsmom, she was my best friend since I was ten years old, I still can't quite believe it, I sometimes go to phone her and then it suddenly dawns on me that she is not here, thanks for reading it, cheers nell

P. Thorpe Christiansen from Pacific Northwest, USA on March 10, 2011:

These losses are never easy and my heart goes out to you. It sounds like she was very special and that the two of you, together, were a force to be reckoned with. Thank you for sharing your friendship and your grief.

Nell Rose (author) from England on March 09, 2011:

Hi, fucsia, thanks for reading it, I really appreciate it, I do still miss her lots, cheers nell

fucsia on March 09, 2011:

I am sorry for your loss. A truly friend is an important part of our life. I like your tribute to him, read these words touched me and has awakened some old , sweet and sad memories. Thanks for sharing.

Nell Rose (author) from England on March 02, 2011:

Hi, toknowinfo, thanks so much for reading it, I am so sorry about your mother, it is hard and as you say we must cry and grieve otherwise we can't begin to heal from the pain, take care nell

toknowinfo on March 01, 2011:

It is so hard to say goodbye. I too am so sorry for your loss. Losing a friend is losing part of yourself. We feel small and helpless when we can't make things the way we want them. There is nothing to do but go on, as you have been. I lost my Mom 4 months ago. I wrote a hub called "Grieving When You Lose Someone Close to You." It is both a tribute to my mother and about the grieving process we must go through for our own well being. Writing it helps my pain and helps me feel she will not be forgotten if it is read by people who didn't know her. I hope your writing helps you too. It is healthy to cry. It means your friend was a true gift for you, even if for too brief a time. I wish you well and good things.

Nell Rose (author) from England on February 25, 2011:

Hi, Honorablewoman, thank you so much! I was thinking about her today, and it really hurt again, but your words have made me feel so much better, thank you.

Honorablewoman from Georgia on February 24, 2011:

SImply Amazing, Your words are alive, I can feel what you feel and can follow your steps on this walk of creating a wonderful tribute to your friend. May God Bless you with Long Life And Health, so that we may be Blessed Again and Again with your words. Love You With The Love Of Jesus!

Nell Rose (author) from England on February 01, 2011:

Hi, Carter, thank you so much, I still really miss her, and forget sometimes then it comes back to me, and I realise that I can't just phone her, thank you

CARTER32071 on February 01, 2011:

Hi Nell, sorry for your loss. A very touching story, I am sure your friend is so proud of you, and she is giving you some strength from Heaven to share your memories of her. Which I know when you talk about the loss of someone you love is very difficult. Thank you for sharing such great memories with us. Take care for now, Carter

Nell Rose (author) from England on January 13, 2011:

Hi, Ross thank you so much, we had such a great time together, I will miss her, it still feels strange. but thanks for your kind comments, nell

Ross Harrison from Tokyo, Japan on January 13, 2011:

What a lovely way to pay tribute to someone you love so much. Thank you for having the courage to share such personal feelings with the world.

She was lucky to have such a great friend in you, you are lucky to have some wonderful memories.

My thoughts are with you and her daughter.

Best wishes

Nell Rose (author) from England on December 22, 2010:

Hi, jan, thank you so much I really appreciate it, cheers nell

Hi, pmccray, thank you, it does still hurt, but all I will try and remember is her wonderful fantastic laugh, thanks again nell

pmccray from Utah on December 21, 2010:

Nell Rose: my deepest and sincerest condolences on your loss. How blessed you were to have a friend such as this for the time you had her. Your piece is full of love and beauty showing that true friendship is everlasting. Peace to you my friend.

Maria Janta-Cooper from UK on December 21, 2010:

Nell, I simply love you for this hub.

Nell Rose (author) from England on December 17, 2010:

Hi, sky2day, thanks so much that is really helpful, I just wish that I could have helped but as you say it is an illness that cannot be helped, I really appreciate it, thanks, nell

skye2day from Rocky Mountains on December 17, 2010:

nellrose I am crying tears sista. This is a beautiful writing of love and your heartfelt love for your friend is pure and sweet. Nothing can save the alcoholic except their desire to get well. God is waiting he can turn all things for good but one must be ready to call on him for the help. It is a terrible illness it goes through like a hurricane and wipes out everything on the path. She suffers no more with her illness. Praise God. I love the ripple effect you used to write this hub of love. Very Beautiful.

I will pray for her daughter that she will stand with Jesus Christ and stand under his wings. nell rose thank you for sharing a story that I am sure was not easy to write. I pray some will be touched and reach for the healing hand of Jesus.

God Bless you nellrose. I am sorry for your loss. You are a special friend. May God place you under his wings and you know he is your refuge. I love you,

Merry Christs to you and yours in His Name Jesus Christ.

Sending a warm hug.

Nell Rose (author) from England on December 16, 2010:

Hi, Rebecca, thanks so much for reading it, it is hard and I totally agree with you, alcoholism is a horrible thing, she was lovely before she started drinking, and even after a few years her humour was still there, I will miss her, thanks nell

Hi, reliablesourse, I am so sorry about your daughter, time does funny things when we grieve. I am glad you have your grandson, it must be a very wonderful blessing, I feel for you and I will send you a prayer and a hug, I am sorry it took so long to answer, but I was having trouble with my computer. take care nell

reliablesourse from Searcy Arkansas on December 15, 2010:

I lost my daughter Shaunda nov.26 2008. Two years and it seems a lot longer. I really miss her a lot. She had cystic fibrosis. She did leave me a beautiful grandson.He was 7 months old when she died. It took all the strength she had to get him here. You never get over lossing a child. There is a hole in my heart that can never be filled. I am glad I found this hub.

Rebecca Saunders from Australia on December 15, 2010:

what a truly moving tribute to your friend Nell. Thank you so much for so openly sharing the pain of loss and the joy of remembering.

Addiction has such a powerful hold on people's lives - I have seen so many lose their battle. One thing I do know though is they don't forget those who truly love them - even though they may push you aside. Your friend was lucky to have you in her life, and she probably knew it on some level.

Lots of warm thoughts to you as you grieve your loss.

Nell Rose (author) from England on December 14, 2010:

Hi, Dolores, I am so sorry, it is hard isn't it? I still keep thinking that I am going to see her, it takes a minute and then I realise. I just feel so sorry for her family now, thank you so much for reading it, and I hope it gets better for you soon, take care nell

Hi, sherry, thanks so much, I didn't want it to be morbid, I wanted to remember her for her laugh, thanks nell

sherrylou57 from Riverside on December 14, 2010:

I have tears in my eyes, you wrote such a beautiful tribute to your best friend. With love and tender care. God bless you and let the spirit of peace upon you.

Dolores Monet from East Coast, United States on December 13, 2010:

Nell, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend of so many years. I recently lost one of my dearest friends ( friends for 37 years). I remembered how the moment we met him, my husband and I, that David would be in our lives forever. I have a little altar with his picture, a cross, some candles, and candy. I pass it several times a day. I cried every day for 2 weeks, and got bags under my eyes.

I have been forgetful and unable to concentrate. When things go wrong, I just blame David.

For some reason, I keep thinking of the old song "I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places..." and then cry again. People say that they loved David, but I say that I love David. He was the brother I never had. When those you love are gone, only the love remains. Take care, Nell.

Nell Rose (author) from England on December 13, 2010:

Hi, Lifewellspoken, thank you for reading it, and I am glad it made you smile, I hope your friend appreciated the hug, thanks so much nell

Hi, James, it is so hard I really miss her, she has been there all my life, it just feels so strange, and thank you for your kind words, nell

James A Watkins from Chicago on December 13, 2010:

You showed us the love you have for your friend through your words with such gentle care that my eyes welled up with tears and the hair is standing up on my arms. I hope somebody will write about me so lovingly after I pass from this Vale of Tears.