A Letter to My Son Who Also Lost Her
Righley & Our Sweet Angel
To you my sweet boy:
We fight over who loves who more, and most of the time we end with I love you to Presley and back which seems like the furthest away from us right now, but I hope you know she is always here. I hope that when you think of her that you think of happy times, and not sad. I hope that you think of her often, but not avoid it to avoid feeling anything. I hope that you dream of her and talk to her. I hope you tell her about your days, new friends, and our fun times.
When you see that I am sad, or notice that I'm remembering Presley through videos, song or photos remember that it's okay to feel this way. It's better to let go of all your emotions instead of pushing them back. It's okay to miss her, to be sad and to be happy. It's okay to keep living life. It's okay to laugh a lot, and smile.
I've noticed how you put all of your energy into friends and video games. I've noticed how sometimes you close off to sad things, but then other times ask questions about Presley. Some moments you comment on how Ellie (our 6 month old) is like Presley in ways, but I hope you know you are so much more like Presley than you realize.
I see Presley in your smile, eyes and your laugh. I see Presley in your random dances, and your music taste. I think that's because all she wanted to be was like her big brother. She wanted to do everything you did, act the same way, dance the same way and love the same way. I see Presley in the way you tell me you love me or tell me Goodnight, but never want me to leave your side.
I pray and hope that you never hold back from all the love you can give. I am proud of you and the way you love. I am proud of your big heart and constant smiles. I'm proud of the way you don't stay mad, and are like me in so many ways, but also like your sister in other ways. I'm proud of the boy you are becoming even if we have to get through these obstacles together, always know that we are getting through them together as a family. I'm proud of your good grades, effort, and how friendly you are to others. I'm proud of the dreams that you have for your future. I'm proud that you put love into everything that you do.
I love that you love your new little sister with as much love as you gave Presley. I love that you get excited when she does new things. I love how you think that little milestones or faces that she makes are adorable. I love how you always ask what she did over the night or days when you are gone. I love how you laugh when she dances. I love how you tell me that you already know she loves you just by the way she looks at you. She will one day also want to be like her big brother and her big sister.
I hope that you tell her stories about Presley. I hope you show her photos of the moments we had with our sweet angel. I hope that you show her the funny videos of Presley, and let her listen to the bear that says I love you way, way more in Presley's voice. I hope you always remember.
Some days will be really hard, and others will seem to come easy. Although time goes by we will always have an empty piece of our heart that is gone. It will never be replaced, but I hope through all of the pain it shows us how to love more each day.
I pray that you never forget and hold on to the memories. I pray that you feel everything that comes our way. I pray that you over come it all. I pray that you are almost always happy.
Most of all, I pray that you always know how much I love you.
I love you to Presley and back.
Righley and Ellie
Questions & Answers
© 2019 Danielle Keith