5 Powerful Lessons, Losing Can Teach You

Updated on July 20, 2019
Pam Morris profile image

Writing is my passion. I have an undying thirst and quest in the field of writing. Some eat, drink or use drugs when stressed; I write.

Everyone has times in their life when they feel like a loser, only winning seems better, but there is so much more to learn by losing.
Everyone has times in their life when they feel like a loser, only winning seems better, but there is so much more to learn by losing.

Don't let losing affect you too heavily, because if you do, not only are you losing the ability to think clearly, you are missing out on a chance to win. Let me state the obvious, losing at something can be a great learning opportunity. It's not always bad, it can be a good thing. If you lose, it only means, you don't have to win every time to be a winner.

You don't easily forget an amazing win, it feels good to accomplish something big, but think about it, it doesn't require self-improvement like losing, that's why sometimes it's beneficial to lose.

Some peoples place their mind in one direction, focus on winning and they forget to concentrate on the course of losing. If you organize your mind in one direction, your mind becomes disorganized and it's focused on all the negativity, and drain you of all your positivity.

A person who focuses their mind in one direction pushes persistently toward winning. But what he/she fails to realize is a failure that's overwhelmed with emotions often needs attention to be properly dealt with. So many times, most of us overreact and have no control over our feelings that it's easy to let our mind send information to the brain that is so unbalanced.

You need to organize your entire mind, an organized mind will fall into a state of flow where it balances, where you can fully focus on being a winner and a loser, where you are completely free from any distraction.

A real valid winner knows that a disoriented focus will only take him so far. Therefore, he focuses to maintain each finish and that intention is for both winning and losing, He knows if he focuses on only one and allows the distraction to tumble in, it will stop him dead in his tracks.

A perfect example of a person focusing to maintain each finish and that intention is for both winning and losing comes with one of my favorite basketball players, LeBron James.

He starts 'a new journey' with the Los Angeles Lakers in the 2018-2019 season and the recurring teammates consist of Kyle Kuzma, Lonzo Ball, Josh Hart, Ivica Zubak, Brandon Ingram and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope. The newcomers added to fill out the rest of the roster includes; Tyson Chandler, Lance Stephenson, JaVale McGee, Rajon Rondo, and Michael Beasley.

Since LeBron James made his first debut with the Lakers so much has happened, beginning with the signing of ‘King James’ it led many devotees to believe that the Los Angeles Lakers would rise and begin winning games again in the Western Conference.

The beginning was a challenge and it took a little time for the team to get used to playing with 'King James' but just as the team adjusted to a great start and expectation was high 'King James’’ groin injury derailed the team season and affected their standing tremendously. I believe even with a much younger playing team than a veteran their standing would have been so much better under the leadership of 'the King' Lebron James if he hadn’t injured his groin.

‘King James’ and the Los Angeles Lakers’ season for 2018-19, ending in the 10th place. In the Western Conference, they won 37 and lost 45 and that was a disappointing record. Making it the very first year ‘King James’’ season ended in a terrible loss and he was unable to make it to the playoffs.

Although it was a disappointing season and lose, a few things, “King James” and Rob Pelinka learned from the Lakers downfalls last season, the team ranked 2nd to last in the NBA in both 3-point percentage (33.3%) and free throw percentage (69.9% FT).

These two defeats were a huge part of the Lakers lack of success and cost them so many close games. Rob Pelinka address the issue by adding Anthony Davis to the roster. Partnering him with "King James making them the number one Duo in the NBA.

Losing Not Always Bad, it Can Be a Good thing

“Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are. Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.” ― Robert Kiyosaki, Rich Dad, Poor Dad


Clearly, Pelinka plans to overcome all obstacles by putting together valuable players around Anthony Davis and "King James which will make the team a legit championship contender because he added shooters with impressive 3 points skills to surround King James and Davis, players like Danny Green (45.5% 3PT, 84.1% FT), Troy Daniels (40.0% 3PT, 81.6% FT), Quinn Cook (41.8% 3PT, 78.6% FT), Alex Caruso (39.8% 3PT, 76.6% FT) and Alex Caruso (39.8% 3PT, 76.6% FT).

Nonetheless, when I think back to the most powerful lesson, I learned from losing, several Bible scriptures come to mind, Ecclesiastes 4:9 shares, "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. But to gain rewards, you need someone on the exact same level you’re on.”

Therefore Amos 3:3 asks, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" One can wonder, does this scripture mean, do two peoples have to be in agreement with everything in order to have fellowship? After reading it, it may seem as if the translations might be requiring that kind of uniformity, but it's not. The Bible verse means that you need the same belief in order to have fellowship.

I stated these scriptures to say, most of my downfalls have been due to the fact that I attached myself to individuals with different beliefs. I didn't know at the time what I was doing, but that kind of a relationship was doomed from the beginning. I was fighting a losing battle. Well, to tell you the truth, placing myself in that type of situation contributed to me losing track of myself temporary.

The Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?”

What to do when you’re "Unequally Yoked" with the wrong people

  • Learn how to break the ties, to remove yourself from the heartache you received from an unequally yoked relationship.
  • Soul search and determine the meaning of your life. You need to know how to find yourself and as you examine, understand that you are created to operate with sails, not anchors.
  • Explore and establish your personal development; make changes in your life by surrounding yourself with people that assist you to grow and develop yourself.

Removing myself from an unequally yoked situation did not happen overnight, of course, I encountered a different experience, I wish I could have surpassed sooner, and although it saddens me to share that I made the same mistake twice before I learned. Except, when I did, I found myself and here I am, safely returned from a slip and slide journey far stranger than any man can imagine.

After coming to the realization that I made the same mishap twice. It made me feel as if my awareness level was of a goldfish and my thinking was mired. That’s when I came to the realization that self-awareness is an essential quality that will assist me in where I am going and it brings out the best in me.

Shortly after, I learned how to place both feet solidly on a path that was beautiful and it resigned to the way. I needed to live and my journey seemed to be getting more and more rewarding as I traveled with it.

If a person disobeys and chooses to place himself/herself in an unequal yoke position, I can tell you from my experience that you will see things rise in the high air that you do not foresee coming and even worse, your mental state will travel further down in the gutter and it will end far worse than it began.

To share in small details, that’s what assisted me to finally change from a losing team to be a single winner. I had to learn what it took to recover and how to take back my life, it is all about removing myself from a wrong connection and knowing how to get out of my own way so I can develop and to remove myself from the life I ultimately did not want, I had to make some changes and started by overcoming self-defeating behaviors.

To go into more details, when a person lines himself or herself with the wrong people, it becomes a mind game. Perhaps, you don't know it, but you are dealing with a narcissist's mind. A narcissist’s mind that plays games to not only devastate your lives, but to make you believe you are not in control. When the mind games take place, it stands a chance of affecting the brains of the person who is linked to the wrong connection.

The first way to changing the play and learning to shift the transformation is the human inclination to decide what's good or not good for you. How to remove yourself entirely from people with a different belief.

For me, I had to think on the level of Wilma Rudolph’s quote, "Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday."

Here are 5 Powerful Lessons, Losing Can Teach You:

1. You can only win when you master how to lose. Most look at failure in the wrong light, failure is the condiment that gives you the tool to win. It’s only in failure, that you learn the stepping stones to walk out of the darkness into the light, so you can succeed and win.

2. You need to know your wants: As you grow up, you don't know what you want out of life. And when you make the decision as to what you want, no one gets it right the first time. It takes time to learn and know what you want. You have to start looking for answers. The answer almost always comes down to its head.

3. To learn to be a winner, you have to travel a unique path and you must travel it alone. The pathway on the journey you experience may turn into what seems to be a route where two people meet to make it easier to balance those bumps and potholes in the road.

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. Martin Luther King, Jr.


Moreover, be aware, only you know what is best for you, the path you are on is a questioning, soul journey. Bear in mind, you have a different path to get to your destination.

When you begin a journey of self-awareness, it starts a journey of involution and of inner growth that helps you discover many things. This journey has its difficulties and its value, but you must remain focused to understand and not allow distractions to prevent you from achieving greatness.

4. The journey towards your success begins with a small step of taking a chance. Most people find it hard to reach out, take the hand that leads to unfamiliar surroundings. No one can choose the road that will inspire you to be motivated to start a journey.

Nonetheless, you must take a small step to create and begin a journey, and know there will be great challenges as you start your course to succeed and you must take the steps one step at a time.

The first step towards gaining success is knowing that failure is good to encounter and when you refuse to give up it’s a stepping stone towards winning. Also, never dare to travel on a sacred road, although it is full of uncertainty and there are roads where there’s no way to know where they end.

5. Each day you awake, you are continually creating your reality. You get out of bed in the morning and you begin creating your reality out of your thoughts. A mind is a powerful weapon so remember how much power you have. What you think and believe can become a reality. Life is a mirror; it reflects what you reveal, you attract what image shines back to you.

Do you agree with this quote?

Winners are not afraid of losing. But losers are. Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.

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Eminem - Lose Yourself [HD]

Questions & Answers


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      • aesta1 profile image

        Mary Norton 

        4 weeks ago from Ontario, Canada

        Awareness is so important. It makes a good foundation for success.

      • Angel Guzman profile image

        Angel Guzman 

        4 weeks ago from Joliet, Illinois

        He hurt his groin, lol. I'm sure his wife is like don't bring work at home, lol. Tremendous basketball player and great guy. It sucks to lose butbyou have to takevthst chance for success.


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