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5 Powerful Lessons, Losing Can Teach You

Writing is my passion. I have an undying thirst and quest in the field of writing. Some eat, drink, or use drugs when stressed; I write.

Everyone has times in their life when they feel like a loser, only winning seems better, but there is so much more to learn by losing.

Everyone has times in their life when they feel like a loser, only winning seems better, but there is so much more to learn by losing.

Whenever you lose, it is offensive to you, but do not let losing affect you too heavily. If you do, not only are you losing the ability to think you are passing up a chance to win. Let me state the obvious; losing at something can be a good learning opportunity. It has not always been inferior. It can be a good thing. If you lose, it only means you do not need to win every time to be a winner.

You do not easily forget an incredible win; it feels good to accomplish something big, but think about it; it does not require self-improvement like losing that why sometimes it is useful to lose.

Some people place their minds in one direction. Focusing on winning, and they forget to concentrate on losing. If you organize your mind in one area, it becomes disorganized, and focuses on all the negativity, and drains you of all your positivity.

A person who focuses their mind in one direction pushes persistently toward winning. However, what he/she cannot realize is a failure that is overwhelmed with emotions often needs attention to gain control over it. So many times, most of us overreact and have no control over our feelings. It is easy to let our mind send information to the brain that is so unbalanced.

To better organize your life, you need to regulate your mindset. An organized mind will fall into a state of flow where it balances, where you can concentrate on being a winner and a loser where you are free from any distraction.

A valid real winner knows that a disoriented focus will only take him so far. Therefore, he focuses on one task at a time to finish, and that intention is for both winning and losing; he knows if he focuses on only one and allows the distraction to tumble in, it will stop him dead in his tracks.

A perfect example of a person concentrating on each finish and that intention is to win and lose comes with one of my favorite basketball players, LeBron James. LeBron James starts a new journey with the Los Angeles Lakers in the 2018-2019 season, and the teammates comprise Kyle Kuzma, Lonzo Ball, Josh Hart, Ivica Zubac, Brandon Ingram, and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope. The newcomers added to fill out the rest of the roster include; Tyson Chandler, Lance Stephenson, JaVale McGee, Rajon Rondo, and Michael Beasley.

Since LeBron James made his first debut with the Lakers, so much has happened, beginning with the signing of ‘King James it led many devotees to believe that the Los Angeles Lakers would rise and start winning games again in the Western Conference.

‘King James’ beginning starts with the Lakers was a challenge, and it took a little time for the team to get used to playing with him. But just as the team adjusted to an impressive start and expectation was high James injured his groin derailed the team season and affected their standing tremendously. I believe even with a much younger playing team than the veteran athlete. The team's rating would have been so much better under the leadership of LeBron James if he had not injured his groin.

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Although it was a disappointing season to a loss, a few things, “King James” and Rob Pelinka learned from the Lakers downfalls last season; the team ranked 2nd to last in the NBA in both 3-point percentage (33.3%) and free throw percentage (69.9% FT).

These two defeats were a big part of the Laker’s lack of success, and it cost them so many close games. Rob Pelinka addresses the issue by adding Anthony Davis to the roster. Partnering him with “King James making them the number one duo in the NBA.

Pelinka plans to overcome all obstacles by putting together valuable players around Anthony Davis and “King James which will make the team a legit championship contender because he added shooters with impressive 3 points skills to surround King James and Davis, players like Danny Green (45.5% 3PT, 84.1% FT), Troy Daniels (40.0% 3PT, 81.6% FT), Quinn Cook (41.8% 3PT, 78.6% FT), and Alex Caruso (39.8% 3PT, 76.6% FT).

When I think back to the most powerful lesson, I learned from losing, several Bible scriptures come to mind. Ecclesiastes 4:9 shares, “Two are better than one; because they have a wonderful reward for their labor. But to gain rewards, you need someone with the same level you’re on.”

Therefore, Amos 3:3 asks. “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” One can wonder, does this scripture mean, do two people have to agree on everything to have fellowship? After reading it, it may seem as if the translations might require that kind of uniformity, but it’s not. The Bible verse means that you need constant belief to have fellowship.

I stated these scriptures to say. Most of my downfalls have been because I attached myself to individuals with different beliefs. I didn’t know at the time what I was doing, but that kind of relationship was doomed from the beginning. I was facing a losing battle. Well, to tell you the truth, placing myself in that type of situation contributed to me losing track of myself temporarily.

The Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 6:14. “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?”

What to do when you’re “Unequally Yoked” with the wrong people

Learn to break the ties, to remove yourself from the heartache you received from an unequally yoked relationship. Soul searches and determines the meaning of your life. Know how to find yourself and as you examine, understand that you operate with sails, not anchors.

Explore and establish your personal development; change your life by surrounding yourself with people that assist you to grow and be yourself.

Removing myself from an unequally yoked situation did not happen overnight, of course, I encountered a singular experience; I wish I could have surpassed sooner, and although it saddens me to share that, I made the same mistake twice before I learned. Except, when I did, I found myself, and here I am, safely returned from a slip and slide journey far stranger than any man can imagine.


After coming to the realization that I made the same mishap twice. It made me feel as if my awareness level was of a goldfish and my thinking was mired. That’s when I came to the realization that self-awareness is an essential quality that will assist me in where I am going and it brings out the best in me.

Shortly after, I learned how to place both feet solidly on a path that was beautiful and it resigned to the way. I needed to live and my journey seemed to be getting more and more rewarding as I traveled with it.

If a person disobeys and chooses to place himself/herself in an unequal yoke position, I can tell you from my experience that you will see things rise in the high air that you do not foresee coming and even worse, your mental state will travel further down in the gutter and it will end far worse than it began.

To share in small details, that’s what assisted me to finally change from a losing team to be a single winner. I had to learn what it took to recover and how to take back my life, it is all about removing myself from a wrong connection and knowing how to get out of my own way so I can develop and to remove myself from the life I ultimately did not want, I had to make some changes and started by overcoming self-defeating behaviors.

To go into more details, when a person lines himself or herself with the wrong people, it becomes a mind game. Perhaps, you don't know it, but you are dealing with a narcissist's mind. A narcissist’s mind that plays games to not only devastate your lives, but to make you believe you are not in control. When the mind games take place, it stands a chance of affecting the brains of the person who is linked to the wrong connection.

The first way to changing the play and learning to shift the transformation is the human inclination to decide what's good or not good for you. How to remove yourself entirely from people with a different belief.

For me, I had to think on the level of Wilma Rudolph’s quote, "Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday."

Here are 5 Powerful Lessons, Losing Can Teach You:

1. You can only win when you master how to lose. Most look at failure in the wrong light, failure is the condiment that gives you the tool to win. It’s only in failure, that you learn the stepping stones to walk out of the darkness into the light, so you can succeed and win.

2. You need to know your wants: As you grow up, you don't know what you want out of life. And when you make the decision as to what you want, no one gets it right the first time. It takes time to learn and know what you want. You have to start looking for answers. The answer almost always comes down to its head.

3. To learn to be a winner, you have to travel a unique path and you must travel it alone. The pathway on the journey you experience may turn into what seems to be a route where two people meet to make it easier to balance those bumps and potholes in the road.


Moreover, be aware, only you know what is best for you, the path you are on is a questioning, soul journey. Bear in mind, you have a different path to get to your destination.

When you begin a journey of self-awareness, it starts a journey of involution and of inner growth that helps you discover many things. This journey has its difficulties and its value, but you must remain focused to understand and not allow distractions to prevent you from achieving greatness.

4. The journey towards your success begins with a small step of taking a chance. Most people find it hard to reach out, take the hand that leads to unfamiliar surroundings. No one can choose the road that will inspire you to be motivated to start a journey.

Nonetheless, you must take a small step to create and begin a journey, and know there will be great challenges as you start your course to succeed and you must take the steps one step at a time.

The first step towards gaining success is knowing that failure is good to encounter and when you refuse to give up it’s a stepping stone towards winning. Also, never dare to travel on a sacred road, although it is full of uncertainty and there are roads where there’s no way to know where they end.

5. Each day you awake, you are continually creating your reality. You get out of bed in the morning and you begin creating your reality out of your thoughts. A mind is a powerful weapon so remember how much power you have. What you think and believe can become a reality. Life is a mirror; it reflects what you reveal, you attract what image shines back to you.

Do you agree with this quote?

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© 2019 Pam Morris

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