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7 Greek Gods We Shouldn't Look Up To

Jesse is a fan of Greek Mythology and has been for quite some time.

Films like Hercules, Clash of the Titans, and Wrath of the Titans might give you the impression that the Olympians are pillars of character and virtue. WRONG! The Olympians are a group of assorted perverts, psychopaths, and narcissists. Personally, these raunchy and at times horrific characters are what make mythology so interesting. So allow me to educate you. It's not all ambrosia and nectar in ancient Greece.

  1. Zues: The King of the Universe is a prolific sexual predator. He's raped several women including his wife and sister, Hera.
  2. Poseidon: The God of the Ocean also for some reason created horses. Maybe only so he could use it to his advantage in his pursuit and proceeding 'conquering' of the Goddess Demeter. Just like his big bro!
  3. Hades: The God of the Underworld kidnapped and according to some versions of the tale raped Demeter's daughter, Persephone. She then became his bride and the Queen of the Underworld. It seems like men with exorbitant amounts of power have a pattern of abusing it.
  4. Ares: The God of War is reportedly a tremendous coward, said to have immediately fled at the sight of the giant, Typhon. And after another failure in battle was held captive in a vase. I'm not mentioning his illicit affair with Aphrodite, Goddess of love. I mean, do you blame him.
  5. Hephaestus: The crippled God of the Forge's only crime is that of desperation. The problem was he was desperate for his virgin sister Athena, who rejected his advances. The struggle got so far that Hephaestus semen ended up on Athena's leg. In disgust, she wiped it away and threw it on the ground, from that Ericthonius was born.
  6. Athena: It turns out the Goddess of Wisdom can be kind of a dick. After finding Poseidon and his mistress Medusa fooling around in her temple she became livid. This is, of course, understandable until the poor girl is cursed for eternity with a face so foul it will turn any mortal who gazes upon to stone. Poseidon, however, was fine.
  7. Dionysus: The God of wine is a literal cult leader, who leads an army of goat-men from city-state to city-state wreaking havoc and partying. And because he was raised as a girl for most of his childhood, he's the first trans-gender Olympian.

Not all the Olympian's are reprehensible, some of them can mean well and on good days show compassion and understanding. But for the most part, they exude an air of smug arrogance and disregard unmatched by none other than the POTUS himself.

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