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Christmas Gifts for In-Laws (You Don't Like)

Updated on May 6, 2017
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What To Buy ... What To Buy?

There's nothing like In-Laws! Brothers and Sisters-In-Laws love to protect their siblings from the mean spouse they married, while you're never good enough for the Mother and Father-In-Law. And the holidays always seems to bring out the best in all of them ... towards you. (Yes, Virginia, I'm being facetious!)

Some may be very good at hiding their feelings towards you. Just remember, you're an intruder into their family circle, and no matter how welcome they make you feel, they're going to talk badly about you once the holidays are over.

So, use these suggestions, wrap them in your best Christmas wrapping paper, and watch the results!

Besides, if they're gonna talk, why not give them something to talk about?

Disney Christmas Song

Massage Parlors are always enjoyed by the male gender.  Set it up for all the extras and then call the cops!  That's when the fun begins!
Massage Parlors are always enjoyed by the male gender. Set it up for all the extras and then call the cops! That's when the fun begins! | Source
What Woman Doesn't Enjoy A Vacuum Cleaner For Christmas?  (Please don't tell me you really bought one for your wife ... please don't!)
What Woman Doesn't Enjoy A Vacuum Cleaner For Christmas? (Please don't tell me you really bought one for your wife ... please don't!) | Source
All You Can Eat Buffet Gift Certificates for dieting in-laws can be classified as torture!  Don't you just love it!
All You Can Eat Buffet Gift Certificates for dieting in-laws can be classified as torture! Don't you just love it! | Source

Here's Some Ideas To Make Them Love You!

1) Massage Parlor Certificates for all male in-laws. Find the most seedy type of massage parlor around and purchase gift certificates for only the male members of the family. Once you give them out, set up a "family evening" to provide them all with transportation to "Shanequa's Therapeutic Massage and Gentlemen’s Club.” Once they’re inside, call the local police department and talk to them about the “sins” occurring inside. Be sure to take pictures as your relatives are led out wearing only loin cloths and handcuffs. They will be great conversation pieces for future family reunions, as well as something to discuss when figuring out what to wear for next Halloween’s family party!

2) Vacuum cleaners for the mother and sister-in-laws. On the card, print, “Just wanted to get you something you could use year around. I saw you needed one the last time we visited!” Don’t buy the most expensive models by any means. That way, the next time you visit their homes, you can always ask, “Oh no, did the vacuum cleaner I bought you tear up already?” It’s a gift you can enjoy every time you visit!

3) Weapons that shoot for all male members of the family that suffer from road rage “itus” and anger management problems. Demonstrate how to clean and use them, as well as the ease in loading. The guys will love these, but the females of the household will hate them. You’ll create many “in house” arguments that will occupy the time they’d normally be talking about you, and may even help in ending an argument or two! Forever!

4) Glade Mist Machines for all the female in-laws. Same principal as the vacuum cleaners. Tell them how you had a hard time figuring what to buy them for Christmas, until you saw the mist machine and remembered how their house smelled last time you were there. Then, ask them if they ever got rid of the dog (you know they never had). Watch their faces and enjoy the fun!

5) All-You-Can-Eat Buffet gift certificates for all on diets. Tell them how the salad bar is fantastic, but the juicy, golden fried chicken (that is perfectly seasoned and crunchy on the outside yet pure Heaven on the inside) and fresh baked, apple pie simply melts in your mouth, especially when you take it to the freeze machine and cover it in fresh vanilla ice cream! Watch the drool start to flow and lay it on even heavier for more laughs!

6) Cooking School Certificates for the female in-laws. This is another way to attest to the culinary skills of the households in question. This is also a good time to tell them that, again, you didn’t know what to buy them so you asked their husbands what would be the most needed thing in the house that needed improvement. Then say, “Oops, I told y’all I wasn’t going to tell them that” and watch the fun begin!

Gayla Peevey - "I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas"

Aww!  Isn't the wittle bunny sooo cwute?   And soon, you can expect many wittle bunnies if you've planned it right!  Won't the in-laws be happy?!?
Aww! Isn't the wittle bunny sooo cwute? And soon, you can expect many wittle bunnies if you've planned it right! Won't the in-laws be happy?!? | Source
Santa's Handy Helper may give your in-laws the hand they need to recognize that they're the inadequate ones!!
Santa's Handy Helper may give your in-laws the hand they need to recognize that they're the inadequate ones!! | Source
Lingerie is always a good choice for aging in-laws.  Make sure they try it on by telling them one size fits all!!
Lingerie is always a good choice for aging in-laws. Make sure they try it on by telling them one size fits all!! | Source
Holiday Spirits, anyone?
Holiday Spirits, anyone? | Source

7) Rabbits for all in-laws with kids. There’s nothing more painful to keep than a rabbit. First, none will have a place for it, or want it, but the kids will be so excited to have one (especially after you tell them that Peter Cottontail wants to see it Easter before leaving any Easter baskets) that the parents will be stuck with it. Talk to the breeder ahead of time, and only purchase female rabbits that were kept in the same pen with a male or two. In a short time, the fun will really start taking place!

8) Mature Theatrical Releases. For the family members that feel they’re too old for such nonsense, provide them with a reason to visit the doctor and enjoy the embarrassment of going to the pharmacy after those little pills that bring about big evenings of nostalgia. Be sure to purchase those that display as many tattoos as possible. In the months to follow, “Have you gotten any tattoos, yet?” can always be a great conversation ender when they start to get on your case about something ridiculous.

9) Sexy Underwear (that’s way too small). Make a quick trip to the web and purchase something that an eighteen year old would have a hard time fitting into for both male and female in-laws. Then, watch the faces as presents are opened and tell them how well it will go with the videos you purchased them! If you really want to have fun, tell them to go into the bedroom and try it on. You can get even a bigger kick if you bug the bedroom in advance and sell chances on the time it takes for the thong to snap!

10) Booze, Booze, and more Booze! The best way to shut up your in-laws from talking about you is to get them drunk. Not just a little, a lot! Spike the punch, spike the tea, spike the coffee, spike the green beans if you have to. Just get them drunk.

Be sure not to drink any of it yourself, as you’ll be needed taking pictures of the fools trying on the lingerie, shooting the weapons out of the windows at passing trucks, and of your mother-in-law vacuuming, as she staggers around the house with a wine glass in her hand. Slobbering drunks that have passed out also gives you reason to leave early, so you can get back home and really enjoy what Christmas is all about.

A Day Off From Work!!!


Some Final Thoughts

If you follow the above advice, you will be sure to enjoy the gifts you provided for a long time. If you decide on trying to purchase something “useful” and “meaningful” you’ll fail miserably, as always. Then, you’ve only yourself to blame for the ridicule you receive the rest of the year.

Why wait?

“Tis The Season To Be Jolly!”

By the way, in-laws, I'll take one of these!

Nuff Said !!
Nuff Said !! | Source

Judy Garland - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

No, ladies, I didn't forget you! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Eye Candy For The Ladies!!!
Eye Candy For The Ladies!!! | Source

A Charlie Brown Christmas - Christmas Time is Here Song

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    • go-barbara-go profile image

      go-barbara-go 4 years ago

      It's the (you don't like) in the title that drags me to this hub, and it did made me smile. Lol!

      I have been looking for the best item to give this season for a sister-in-law (that I don't like)...thank you for the help.

      How about adding a needle and thread kit on your list? It is at least handy, in case in-laws decide to shut their mouth forever. Lol!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Barbara -

      So good to meet you!

      I understand skinny jeans are in right now. My wife tells me that all women have at least one pair in their closets. That could be a great gift for you sister-in-law! I'm with you in the fantasy, but for an in-law to forever remain quiet just doesn't happen ... unless the man above decides it's time. Wouldn't it be nice though! lol

      Thanks for the comments! Much appreciated!

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Richard, this was too damn funny for words and must admit I could have used some of these gifts when I had all of my in-laws over my house last week with the storm, lol!! No seriously, so very enjoyed as usual this morning. Have of course voted way up and shared all over!!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Excellent gift ideas!!! I usually just send them a holiday card...I'm considering a weapon or some booze this year. Actually those would be for me if they decide to visit. Thanks for planting the seed of ideas!:)

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      I'm wondering where and how you come up with this stuff? You really put smiles on our face and teach us the meaning of belly laugh! How funny to imagine half of what you've written actually happening!!!

      I think my favorite is calling the police after you get all your in-laws into the massage parlor....this was really funny and timely Rich!

      Voted up, funny, interesting, and shared.

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Janine -

      Good Morning!

      I started thinking about Christmas as soon as the election was over. I figured the circus had left town, so it was time to get to the holidays ahead! Hope you find some of these useful! lol

      Glad you enjoyed this! Many Thanks for everything as always!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Linda -

      Good Morning, Sunshine!

      Glad you liked these ideas. It is a different story if they come to visit you. Perhaps, it might be a good time to scream "BOMB!" : ) Weapons would be good for the chronic complainers. I understand the time allowed for outside calling is really limited in the penal institutions!

      Thanks for commenting! Greatly Appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Mary -

      Good Morning!

      My mind is a weird and mysterious thing. I simply try to take real problems and put a twist on the available answers! lol Really good to see you smile! I kind of liked the massage parlor one, too. I have an old boss or two that needs a good massage. I wonder.... : )

      Thanks for the read and votes! Greatly appreciated!

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 4 years ago from Singapore

      Lol! Could use some of these at family gatherings I don't want to go to! Wonder what would happen if I gave massage parlour certs.. Hmm! Serously, funny as usual, and my blessings!!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Michelle -

      Good Morning!

      Giving the certificates is only part one! Remember, calling the police and taking the pictures afterwards is where the future fun comes in! lol After giving these type of gifts once or twice, you may not have to worry about many family gatherings! : )

      Thanks for the comments! Much Appreciated!

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      OK, I am fine everyone ...I am laying up in traction from laughing my ass off at this...the medics told me they never had a patient with an IPad in her hand on the stretcher... Dang it, I was only up to #1 and I needed to finish...the charmingly light holiday music is making the heavy duty pain killers kick in much faster...Judy Garland pushed me over the top.

      But seriously Rich, do you just wake up funny?? You are a hot mess and my cup of tea...and now I know we are related...facetiously speaking, Virginia, of course!

      Voted UP and extra extra FUNNY. Love, Sis

    • CyberShelley profile image

      Shelley Watson 4 years ago

      Good ideas for making oneself popular! My twisted sense of humour loved the thoughts. Up, interesting, useful and funny.

    • phoenix2327 profile image

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Wonderful suggestions all, Rich. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I have no need of them as my in-laws have always been good to me.

      I do love your sense of humour.

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Maria -

      Good Morning!

      I'm calling every hospital in Pennsylvania trying to ensure you're okay!! lol I thought the hippo song might do it, but ... Judy Garland? What would have happened with "Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my?" : ) Yes, Sis, we are brother and sister from different parents for sure!

      Really glad you enjoyed this one! Many Thanks!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Shelley -

      Good Morning!

      Tis a twisted sense of humor that's needed in today's world! : ) If one can make people smile just once during the day, that a few seconds they've gotten rid of their problems and gained some sanity back. There's too little of that happening, so, I do my best to make it happen. Really happy you enjoyed this!

      Greatly appreciate the comments and votes! Many Thanks!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Phoenix -

      Good afternoon! Just in time for tea.

      It's good you have such wonderful in-laws. Perhaps some gift certificates would be in order? lol Just teasing! Glad you enjoyed this one!

      Thanks so much for visiting! Cheers!

    • Askme profile image

      Pritchard 4 years ago

      My favorite hub EVER! Belly laughs with my coffee this morning. Thank you I really needed a good laugh!

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Oh the Wizard of OZ...puts me in ICU. I would love a hippo, btw...!!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Rebecca -

      Such a pleasure to meet you!

      Really happy you enjoyed this! You humble me with your words. I feel like Bill and Ted, "I'm not worthy!" : ) Keep smiling!

      Thanks for commenting! Greatly appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Hey Sis! -

      Wait till you hear my rendition of The Lollipop Guild Song. You will need hospitalization! lol I'll keep my eyes open for a hippo for you. I think I saw one in Walmart a week or two ago. What honey? Sorry, Maria, my wife says that was just a customer there!

      Keep the smile!

    • Rosyel Sawali profile image

      Rosyel Sawali 4 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      LOL Rich! When I saw the title of the hub you recently published, I knew I gotta read it as it's sure to crack me up once again. ^_^ Boy, am I right! Thanks for the good laugh!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Rosyel -

      Good to see you!

      Thought I'd go back and do some humor again. It's been a while, so I put out two of them this week. Really to to see you smiling! Glad you enjoyed!

      Really appreciate the comments! Many Thanks!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Love them all but the rabbit idea is diabolical! Booze works, but make sure it is cheap booze so the hangover is worse.....

      Great fun buddy; remind me never to annoy you!

      bill

    • lrc7815 profile image

      Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

      Rich, this is great fun and some will be more than grateful for the great ideas. lol I took care of the in-laws that don't like me problem a long time ago. The solution - divorce them all! :-) Good in-laws are hard to come by but are a treasure when you find them. Great job on this one!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Bill -

      Good Morning, my friend!

      I was gonna go for the standard cat or dog, and I figured, "Why not go with the gift that just keeps on giving, and giving, and giving, and... well, you get it! lol Now, Bill, who would ever give the good stuff to relatives? Especially, in-laws! Ah, remember the days of Kickin' Chickin' and Mad Dog 20/20? No one ever complained! lol

      Thanks for the comments! Greatly appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Linda -

      Good Morning!

      You have taken care of the problems! lol I've never had to divorce any in-laws, as I've only been married once. I figured if the wife didn't work out, then I sure didn't want to marry her sister! : ) Just joking! Her sister was a sweetie! lol

      Good to see you smiling! Many thanks for the read and commenting!

    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Perfect hub, great ideas and fun videos! This just felt like a "Party" for my eyes! Loved it! up ans funny! I hope you get everything on your list! ;)

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Randi -

      Good Morning!

      Really glad you enjoyed this! If I get what I asked for, I'm really going to be in trouble with my wife! lol But, one can always sit back and wish. : ) At least I provided eye candy for the ladies, too! Oh, now I understand the "party for the eyes" comment! lol

      Really do appreciate the comments! Keep smiling!

    • Daisy Mariposa profile image

      Daisy Mariposa 4 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

      Rich,

      What wonderful suggestions! I shouldn't have read your article, however, as I was drinking the first of my morning cups of coffee...coffee sprays on my laptop caused by simultaneous coffee drinking and laughing are not fun to clean up.

    • europewalker profile image

      europewalker 4 years ago

      Very entertaining hub. Booze works every time! Voted up and awesome:)

    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      lol!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Daisy -

      Good Morning!

      I guess I'm going to have to post a disclaimer warning at the beginning of my hubs stating that drinking coffee in front of a laptop while reading may cause necessary clean-up, next! lol I'm very happy you enjoyed this!

      Thanks ever so much for visiting and commenting! Greatly appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Christine -

      Good Morning!

      Glad you enjoyed this! Sounds like someone's got some pictures of drunk relatives drooling to use at family reunions! lol

      Thanks so much for the read and votes! Greatly Appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Randi -

      Is that a guilty laugh I detect? : ) Yep, caught you!

      Many Thanks!

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      Great suggestions Rich! Almost makes me wish I was going to see the inlaws this season. Really funny stuff!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Jim -

      Good Morning, Sir.

      You can always FedEx rabbits to your favorites! lol Happy you enjoyed this one! Just a little something to create a little holiday spirit. lol

      Appreciate the comments! Many Thanks!

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      A wonderful read my friend ;I really loved it and now vote across the board and share. Take care and enjoy your day.

      Eddy.

    • VeronicaFarkas profile image

      Veronica Roberts 4 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Ohhh my. You've a way with ideas!

      I would share this, but don't want my husband getting any ideas. ;)

      Just kidding - I'm sharing this all over the place. It's very entertaining!

    • Julie DeNeen profile image

      Blurter of Indiscretions 4 years ago from Clinton CT

      YOU are a troublemaker! LOL

    • mpropp profile image

      Melissa Propp 4 years ago from Minnesota

      Hysterical! I'll have a hard time choosing which gift I want to give them from this incredibly "useful" hub. Seriously funny...I just keep picturing the in-laws reactions and I start laughing again. Thanks for sharing!

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 4 years ago from South Africa

      Thanks for the tips, rcumple. I am going to sell them -

      Of course, you will receive half of the profits :)))

      By the end of this year, we'll both be millionaires :)

      Voted up and extremely funny.

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Eddy -

      So good to see you!

      Glad you enjoyed this listing of fine gifts! Just a little something I thought up this morning.

      Thanks so for commenting! Greatly Appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Veronica -

      Good afternoon!

      Remember, you have his family to deal with, too! There's got to be something useful for someone here! lol Really glad you enjoyed this!

      Thanks for the comments and share! Greatly appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Julie -

      So good of you to stop in!

      Troublemaker? Me? Whatever would give you that idea? lol Just trying to spread some early Christmas cheer. Last minute shopping is hell! : )

      Appreciate the visit! Many Thanks!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Melissa -

      Good to see you today!

      Try the process of elimination ... "Which one of the above would get you eliminated from the boring family reunion in the next year that you really don't want to attend?" That said, "That's the one you want!" lol So glad you liked this!

      Appreciate the comments! Many Thanks!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Martie -

      Really good to see you this afternoon!

      Okay, how's this gonna work again. You market my ideas, sell them, and then I only get 50%? I've never heard of an agent/marketer getting 50% before. I'll tell you what, go ahead and give it a try. 50% of something is better than 0% of nothing! lol I'll be waiting for my first check. It can go into the same account I've got set aside for the Nigerian millions that's supposedly due any day! : )

      Thanks for the read, comments and the votes! Much Appreciated!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      ...I must say I love the sexy elf in the red lingerie - definitely a highlight in your most funny and oh so true hub presentation which is a timely list for Christmas shopping with those who have a sense of humor.

      So I will glady and madly share this wonderful work by you to the Hubpages Facebook group so hopefully you will gain some more fans, followers and admirers - sending warm wishes your way from lake erie time ontario canada 2:45pm

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

      You are a man after my heart! Why I didn't have you around when I had a traditionally "miserable mother-in-law". I would have provided her with every gift on this list.

      You have a wicked and twisted sense of humor and I lover every bit!!!

      Voting up my twisted friend

    • MummyDearest profile image

      Eileen 4 years ago from Kildare, Ireland

      This is hilarious...I was laughing non stop..Love it!! thumbs up and got my vote too..

    • profile image

      Sueswan 4 years ago

      Hi Richard

      "Be sure not to drink any of it yourself, as you’ll be needed taking pictures of the fools trying on the lingerie, shooting the weapons out of the windows at passing trucks, and of your mother-in-law vacuuming, as she staggers around the house with a wine glass in her hand" Sounds like a scene from a reality show. LMAO One of my coworkers has an Aunt that the rest of the family refers to as the Christmas Bitch. They keep her wine glass full cause she is only pleasant when she is drunk.

      Voted up up and away!

      Cheers!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Colin -

      So good to see you, sir!

      The present to myself is indeed a beautiful young woman. I remember my wife at that age, and quickly go back to the picture of the young lady and wish. lol So happy you enjoyed this!

      Thanks for commenting and sharing! Greatly Appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Beckie -

      Really good to see you!

      My wife has had to live with my humor for 33 years. She's grown accustomed to my twists and turns, and so has her family (as several of these have proven themselves to be effective, lol). Glad you liked this!

      Appreciate the comments! Many Thanks!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Eileen -

      Good to see you here!

      Just a little something I was thinking about this morning. : ) Trying to get everyone in the holiday spirit and such! Happy you enjoyed it!

      Thanks for the read, votes and share! Greatly Appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Sue -

      Really good to see you here!

      Some say "tis the elixir that calms the soul" or the "bitch" in this case! lol Happy you enjoyed this little hub!

      Thanks always for your support and all you do! Much Appreciated!

    • novascotiamiss profile image

      novascotiamiss 4 years ago from Nova Scotia, Canada

      Ha, ha, ha. You must be very popular in your family! They will probably give you a ticket to the North Pole, valid over Christmas & the new year. By the way, what did you get last year?

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      novascotiamiss -

      Nice of you to visit!

      Usually, they give me gift certificates to Best Buy, knowing that I'm a music and computer addict. lol It used to be gift cards to Target, but since I'm not a real fan of the store, I tended to send them back as birthday gifts! : ) Good to see you smile!

      Thanks for the comments! Greatly Appreciated!

    • Ruchira profile image

      Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

      Such a hilarious hub, Richard.

      Enjoyed it thoroughly.

    • ishwaryaa22 profile image

      Ishwaryaa Dhandapani 4 years ago from Chennai, India

      A very funny read! I enjoyed your hub from the start till the end! Keep your trademark humour going. Way to go!

      Thanks for SHARING. Funny & Interesting. Voted up

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Awesome ideas here and made me laugh you have said it all

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Great stuff. I have given out some wild gifts, but never to my in-laws, because they were great. The gift that kept on giving was a Barbie Workout video disguised as a porno video. It was given as a gift 3 times that I know of.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      I can't stop wiping the tears that keep flowing with each laugh. OK got my breath back. lol I am sure glad my hubby and I have only one in-law in the family. That would be his son's wife. I will have him read this for ideas cause she certainly is not well liked by anyone especially his daughter who does not care at all for here sister-in-law. Hilarious pics and loved the videos. I saved Judy Garland for the last because that song always makes me cry. lol So passing on your wonderful ideas and on and on. Loved this and much enjoyed.

    • LaThing profile image

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Ha, ha... Hahaha... Haha.... You're bad! Oh, you are BAD!! Loved it though.... Hehe! Excellent gift ideas, and great pictures, specially the one at the end ;)

      Love the massage palor one.... I have all brother in-laws, ahahahaha.... No, I won't do that to them! And then again ^_^

      Great work, Richy, voting up and awesome!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Ruchira -

      So good to see you!

      Just a few thoughts to get the Christmas spirit moving and the election thoughts behind us! Am pleased you like this!

      Thanks for the comments! Greatly Appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      ishwaryaa22 -

      So good to see you again!

      I'll do my best to keep the laughs around. I'm humbled by your kind words.

      Really appreciate the votes and comments! Many Thanks!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Devika -

      So nice to see you again!

      Good to see you smiling! Just some ideas for the Christmas Season ahead! lol Glad you enjoyed!

      Appreciate the comments! Many Thanks!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Martin -

      Good of you to visit, my friend!

      I wonder how many started to copy the video only to find it Barbie in tights! lol Although the makers of South Park did something with puppets in their production of Team America that can't be forgotten, no matter how hard one tries! lol

      Thanks for stopping in and commenting! Much Appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Rasma -

      So good to see you!

      I have another Kleenex here if you'd like. lol I see either a Glade Mist Machine or a vacuum cleaner in the future for your sister-in-law, and months of fun ahead! : ) Really happy you liked this!

      Thanks for all you do! Highly Appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Lizzy -

      Good Morning!

      Me? Bad? Me? Lizzy, I would never be bad. Maybe a little sadistic, but never bad! : ) Glad the picture caught your attention. I couldn't forget my female readers now, could I? lol Good to see you smile again!

      Really appreciate your comments and votes! Many Thanks!

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 4 years ago from Florida

      I miss your Monday morning noose, but this made up for that! Funny Hub with some great ideas!

      I voted this UP, etc and will share and Pin.

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Mary -

      You must've read my mind. I've been thinking about you and wondering what's going on. I was about to check and see if you've written anything as of late as I'm getting no notices of such.

      Really glad you enjoyed this! The Monday morning news is on a hiatus for now. I'm trying to decide what changes need to be made to it to draw more viewers and make it worthwhile.

      Thanks for commenting! Really good to see you again!

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      Oh, this is deliciously evil. Forget about in-laws... I will give some of these gifts to my own family. Thanks for the suggestions!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Jeannie -

      So good to see you back! Had wondered how you'd weathered the storm.

      You're a woman after my heart! lol I, too, have very deserving relatives of some of these. I was simply holding that back as a Christmas surprise for them! : )

      Glad you enjoyed this and commented! Many Thanks!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Haha! love it! oh please come to my christmas party, you would make it the best one yet! lol! wish I was having a party, and loads of people, the fun I could have after reading this! great stuff richard!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Nell -

      So good of you to stop by!

      Christmas Party! I've been invited to a Christmas Party! I've been invited to a Christmas Party! A Christmas Party! Oh ... there's no party. Oh well, the story of my life. lol It would be a blast indeed, my dear! Really happy you enjoyed this one!

      Thanks so for the comments! (Nothing like getting the hopes up and dropping them like an anvil. : ) ) Really appreciate them!

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      rcrumple...This is not only hilarious genius....it's just what I need to be dastardly this Christmas......Hey...this brings new meaning to the expression, "It's the thought that counts.".......Draw your own conclusions, IN-LAW!!...or is that outlaw?

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Paula -

      Good Morning!

      I'm humbled by your kind words, and enthused thinking about the holiday season you project! lol I fear for your in-laws, yet, relish in imagining their faces! Love the "it's the thought that counts!" Wish I'd have put that line in the hub! Glad you enjoyed!

      Thanks always for the fantastic comments! Greatly appreciate them!

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      Rich, great advice which had me chuckling from beginning to end - I am making a mental note to stay on your good side :o) I am lucky because I have lovely in-laws so I give them nice gifts. I know how I would feel if I tore off the lovely paper and found a vacuum cleaner - oh yes I do - LIVID!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Julie -

      So good to see you!

      I think my right profile is probably better than my left, but my wife warns against walking behind me for some reason. Hmmm... still can't figure out why. lol No worries, I only attack the nameless unless they pick a fight. Then, anything is fair game! : ) I actually remember my father giving my mother a vacuum cleaner one year for Christmas. I was too young to remember her reaction, but I'm pretty sure she'd have preferred something else!

      Thanks for the comments! Much Appreciated!

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 4 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      There is nothing like a good mean streak. LOL Personally, "Nuff Said !!", I think you should take both of them.

    • Sharkye11 profile image

      Jayme Kinsey 4 years ago from Oklahoma

      Hilarious! I love these ideas. My in-laws are, how shall I say it? Stodgy? I think the adult videos would be just the ticket. What makes it even more fun? My husband's family only buys personalized gifts for the kids. The gifts for grown-ups are pooled we have to play "Dirty Santa" to get them. What could be more fitting than someone winning a gift box of dirty movies and sexy underwear while playing 'Dirty Santa?'.

      Thank you for making my shopping season look suddenly brighter with your wit!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Mike -

      Good to see you!

      I like to think of it as friendly family revenge instead of mean. lol Kind of gives it a more homey feel. lol I'm just wishing on the photo. Wishing my wife hadn't of seen the posting, that is. She's really a wonderful woman. Just ask her! : )

      Glad you enjoyed! Thanks for dropping in!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Jayme -

      So good of you to visit!

      I must say, you have the right ideas! lol I won't say "I dare you" as I don't want to be the blame for a future divorce. But, I see a trip to Victoria's Secrets in the future! : )

      Thanks for the kind comments! Greatly Appreciated!

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      I actually have read this Thursday night, if I'm not mistaken. I was at work then and didn't get the chance to comment although it was obvious that I was reading something not work related because I was laughing. There's definitely nothing funny on our on-line memos at work. Lol!

      This is so hilarious and thanks for not forgetting about the ladies.

      Up, funny and absolutely sharing the chuckles!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      CrisSp -

      Good to see you!

      You've got to be careful reading these things at work. Laughter can be hazardous to your position! lol Really nice of you to come back and comment, and I'm happy you enjoyed this!

      Thanks for the read and votes! Much Appreciated!

    • profile image

      ignugent17 4 years ago

      This is very funny! I do hope my son- in- law will not read this. But I would gladly accept an all you can eat buffet certificate. :-)

      Thanks for the laughs.

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Meldz -

      So nice of you to stop in!

      If you get a vacuum cleaner for Christmas, perhaps he may be hinting at something! lol Perhaps the gift certificates will find their way instead!

      Glad you enjoyed this! Many Thanks!

    • unknown spy profile image

      IAmForbidden 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

      Enjoying every word in your hub Rich!

    • Suzie HQ profile image

      Suzanne Ridgeway 4 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

      Hi Rich,

      Apologies to be late to the party and boy . . .what a par-tay! This Christmas list is inspired, so witty! Wouldn't you love to give the seedy voucher or the hoover! LOL loved them all Rich and the in depth planning and delivery of punchlines - BRILLIANT! Know a few people who would love to give many of your list so pinning for the masses!! VU more, shares and pinned, truly hilarious work as always my friend!

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 4 years ago from Dubai

      Funny!! Totally entertained. Great ideas indeed!!!! Voted up .

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      OMG...

      Richard - me thinks if you followed through on these well-thought-out gifts - you'd have NO in-laws left to buy for next year..

      Hmmmm...perhaps that's the plan? lol..

      As far as the 'eye-candy' for us women? I'm sorry, but THAT looks to be around 12 years old - got anything in REAL MAN-size?

      Hmmmm?....

      omg..

      voting/sharing/giggling..

      Geez..now i have to scroll ALL the way up again...i'm too old for this shit...lol

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Richard too funny.. I love it.. especially I want the good looking man with the muscles under my Christmas tree.. lol

      happy Thanksgiving almost!!!!

      Debbie

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 4 years ago from The Beautiful South

      I talked someone into spiking the punch one Christmas for a mother-in-law who didn't allow her husband to have even a beer in the yard on a hot mowing day. She really liked that punch too, that she made, and couldn't figure out why it was so much better this year. Of course fear of being found out kept it from being the fantastic day it should have been for me, lol. (I wasn't always an angel.)

      You have some funny stuff. I enjoyed it. ^

    • Robert Erich profile image

      Robert Erich 4 years ago from California

      As everyone is saying in the comments, this is a hilarious article. I was definitely captured by the title and not disappointed! I look forward to reading more of your epic articles as time goes on. And you know, I may have to let you know what happens when I give away a few of these gifts! ;) Well written! Voted up on all accounts and shared!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Myz -

      Good to see you again!

      Glad you enjoyed this. Just a little something to help spread the Christmas spirit! lol

      Thanks for commenting! Much Appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Suzie -

      So good to see you here!

      The party never starts until you get here! I've often thought of gift certificates or cards. This may be the year. lol Really happy you enjoyed this. Good to see you smile!

      Greatly Appreciate all you do. Many Thanks!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Nithya -

      So nice of you to visit here.

      Am pleased you enjoyed this listing. It's one way to ensure you'll always have something to say to those relatives that love us so much! lol As someone said above, "It's the thought that counts!" : )

      Thanks so for commenting! Much Appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Leslie -

      You've caught on to my idea, my dear!

      Marriage affords us the in-laws from Hell at times. This is just a small way to give back all that one has received, and, in a fitting way! lol I was only thinking of someone that had the energy to keep up with your intensity when I presented the picture. The cardiac care units can only handle so many older geezers with heart attacks! : ) Glad you liked this!

      You know I always love your comments! Much Appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Deborah -

      So good to see you back from Mexico! Was afraid customs might catch you on the return trip! : )

      Under the Christmas tree? My, you are kinky, my dear. I'd of thought another room might provide a better setting, but who an I to judge. My memory is failing me as the years go by. lol

      Thanks for commenting! Really glad you enjoyed! Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Jackie -

      Really good to see you here!

      Jackie, Jackie, Jackie ... I'd have never of guessed ... but I love it! lol I'm sure you had to be laughing your tail off inside while watching her guzzle the punch! : ) That had to be a riot!

      Thanks for the compliments! Greatly Appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Robert -

      Good to meet you, sir!

      Glad you enjoyed this one. I anxiously await your results. Just remember, I am not responsible for any occurrences that transpire from the act of giving! lol It's all in the Spirit of Christmas!

      Thanks for the read, comments and votes! Appreciate all greatly!

    • holyjeans30 profile image

      Amy D. 4 years ago from Mostly in My Own Little World

      Lol, this was hilarious. I only wish I still had the in laws I did several years ago........wait not really. But my kids still go for Christmas. I could always send them gift bearing.

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Great and hilarious Hub. I especially appreciate the beefcake picture. We women, even we older women, like to look, and don't want to be left out. Thank you for remembering us. :) Let us know if you will take requests. :)

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Amy -

      Good to see you!

      I see some gift certificates appearing soon in your future. Shanequa's has open dates just waiting those lowly individuals you aim to please! lol And kids are such innocent messengers. : ) Glad you enjoyed!

      Thanks for the comments! Greatly appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Theresa -

      So good of you to stop in!

      How could I ever forget my favorite people? I had to put that picture there, especially after the one I listed above it. lol I'll see if I can't come up with a contact number for you!

      Appreciate the kind comments! Many Thanks!

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

      LOL RC,

      You did it again, non stop laughing and me attempting to type just do not cut it! LOL

      You know, there is so much truth here. As one spends so much time "trying" to pick out the perfect gift to suit each family member and then . . . so why not do as you have suggested so brilliantly here? LOL

      Another brilliant hub dear one! The only one I'd be really afraid to give is the weapons one, as they may turn it on me! Yikes!

      God bless. In His Love, Faith Reaper

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Faith Reaper -

      Happy you're back!

      Really glad you enjoyed this one. No matter how hard you try, it seems relatives are the hardest to please. So ... I leave it up to you, my dear! lol

      Thanks so much for visiting! God Bless!

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Rich, I really love your tongue in cheek humor. Entertaining as ever. Votes up, interesting and sharing. Thanks for keeping the ladies in mind with the final picture, mon ami!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Rajan -

      So good to see you, my friend!

      Very happy you enjoyed this! Just trying to spread the spirit of the season! lol

      Appreciate the read and comments! Many Thanks!

    • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

      Glimmer Twin Fan 4 years ago

      I thought this was so funny I had to read it twice! I have a relative who always brings me soap. I've even asked her if she is trying to tell me something and she just smiles...and in case you were wondering....I have soap everywhere in my house and I and my house are very clean. Maybe she is regifting from her in-laws!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Glimmer -

      Good to see you, again!

      Perhaps she's at a complete loss as to what to buy you and she lives close to a soap store. Maybe she's always loved horses and this is as close as she can get to sharing her passion (okay, I know they stopped using horses in making soap years ago, but maybe she doesn't, lol), and perhaps, she really wants soap as a gift and is hoping you'll simply give it back to her when birthday time comes around! Perhaps, her mother always washed her mouth out with soap when she was younger for using profanity and she's hinting that she doesn't like the way you talk. : )

      Try reverse psychology on her. "Oh my gosh, you got me soap! I never would've guessed I'd get soap ten years in a row from you! I love the way you always give me the gift that reminds me cleanliness is next to holiness. Really though, you don't have to worship me. Though, there are times I feel like asking you if you'd like to join me in the shower! I like scalding hot water. How about yourself? And it's pink this year! How surprising! I guess you went through all the primary colors in years past and are now going for blends. How exciting! I can't wait till next year. I'm going to paint the bathroom mauve this summer. Just a hint on the color to keep your eyes open for when you're shopping next Christmas!" Maybe, she'll take the hint. lol

      Thanks for the return visit! Much appreciated!

    • profile image

      AudraLeigh 4 years ago

      I think I just got into the Christmas spirit after reading this! What a great idea for a hub; the gift of laughter! I really liked the too small underware...lol! I wish I could have offered some of these the last year I was married...chuckle! I am glad you piked out a little something for yourself...llol!!!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Audra -

      Really good to see you back!

      Next thing you know, you'll have your elf costume on running around the house. I can almost smell the Christmas cookies burning! lol You can always store away these ideas for the future. One never knows what's ahead! : )

      Good to see you smiling, again! Many thanks!

    • profile image

      AudraLeigh 4 years ago

      LOL! Good morning! Love your sense of humor!!! I will get the fire estinguisher!

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 4 years ago from sunny Florida

      How funny. Love these. Laughing is such a great way to put things in perspective. Taking life too seriously can be bad for your health. I am sharing this on fB ...

      And by the way, I love the I want a hippo song...I look forward to hearing it each year. When I need a good laugh, I will be back.

      And while I have no inlaws I have some neighbors who could use a few of these items...o my, am I a bad person?? ps

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Patricia -

      So nice of you to visit!

      Neighbors can easily be included in this list. In fact, it might give you a reason to visit them more often if you give them a mist machine or vacuum cleaner. lol I loved the hippo song myself! : )

      Thanks for the great comments! Much appreciated!

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      LOL Richard I can see why you have so many comments here! Your writing is so funny - the headline grabbed my attention and I had to read :)

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Christy -

      So good to see you here!

      This has proven to be a fairly popular hub, to say the least. I'm kind of startled by the number of comments myself. But, I sure appreciate getting them. Maybe I have to work on my titles more in the future! lol

      Really happy you enjoyed this! Thanks for the kind words, the read and comments!

    • Abby Attwood profile image

      Abby Attwood 4 years ago from Olathe, KS

      These were all great ideas, but are you out of your mind on #3? Giving guns to overprotective brothers and fathers after all of the other shenanigans you just pulled? That's likely to get you hurt! Very funny, thanks for the laugh!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Abby -

      Now you're getting to some of my recent hubs. See the changes! : )

      The reasoning behind #3 is that by demonstrating proper usage and handling, you'll be appreciated. If you're appreciated, you're safe, for the most part. Later, when the arguments start in their own homes, one half of the party may be immediately eliminated, and the other eliminated when residency changes to the metal bar hotel. See, two birds with one stone, or shot, as the case may be! lol Of course, there's always the element of danger involved, but, wouldn't it be worth it? : )

      Happy you enjoyed this one! Greatly Appreciated!

    • healthylife2 profile image

      Healthy Life 4 years ago from Connecticut, USA

      I always know where to go for a good laugh!! Fortunately I get along well with my mother in law but my husband can't say the same about his. I guess I will just have to pass these tips along to him although I'll have to avoid the sexy underwear visual. Voted up!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      healthylife2 -

      Really good of you to visit!

      There are some things that are visually unkind. I always feared seeing my grandmother in spandex, my mother-in-law in a bikini, or my father-in-law in a speedo. (oooofff! I shudder!) lol You may want to check the search history on your computer. If you find local massage parlors, be wary! : )

      Thanks so much for your kind words! Greatly appreciated!

    • barbergirl28 profile image

      Stacy Harris 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

      Ha ha - I loved all of the suggestions. I am gonna link it up to my new Christmas hub to be published soon. These are just too good to pass up. And thanks for the eye candy as well.

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Stacy -

      So nice to see you here!

      Be sure to let me know when you publish it and I'll return the favor! Glad you liked this one. And see, regardless of my wife's opinion, I do remember that ladies need eye candy, too! lol

      Really appreciate the comments! Many Thanks!

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      You must be friends with my current monster-in-law. She *always* knows just the perfect things to give me every year...well, the years that she remembers that I'm married to her son anyway.

      The picnic tablecloth clips have to be the number one present she ever gave me. She really shouldn't have spent so much money! (The clearance tag for 50 cents was still attached).

      Great hub. Voted up and shared.

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Terrye -

      Really good to see you!

      Yours sounds like my wife's mother. A couple of years, she bought me a pair of discount brand socks. Then, she finally just said, "I didn't know what to buy you so I spent the money on your girls." Oh well, at least they got the extra .99 spent on them. : )

      Thanks for visiting! Much appreciated! Btw, I wish you the safest of moves out West!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      ha! Hey I really like those red suede boots the santa floozie is wearing:) lol You know what, people are probably in fear of commenting in case the inlaws follow:) haha

      I am linking you to mine right now - thank you so much for linking mine!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Kelly -

      Good to see you!

      Now, you know you'd look great with those boots! lol If I said anything else I'd only get myself into trouble. It would be nice if one or two would comment, but I'm with you, I guess they're just a little afraid to do so! : )

      Thanks for visiting and linking! Greatly Appreciated!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Too funny Rich! I have personally solved the pretentious gift exchange for the out, I mean in-laws by firing their offspring! No more in-laws! Ha ha. Merry Christmas to me!! :-)

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 4 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Hi RC... still laughing... glad I am not on your shopping list. Yet another that is a favorite for those with children are the noisiest and most annoying toys you can find. Of course include some extra long lasting batteries for the added satisfaction you wil be remembered... lol... Voted up and all across... this is a keeper.

      Hugs from Canada

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Shauna -

      Good evening, my dear!

      That's one way of not having to purchase them gifts. Tis a shame as I'm sure you could've found several of these to fit the need. lol

      Thanks for commenting! Much Appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Rolly -

      So good of you to visit, my friend!

      You never know, Christmas morning may bring you a surprise! lol I, too, love to give the gifts that keep on giving headaches, but usually find myself getting one before I can escape the initial run. Perhaps, Federal Express is the answer! : )

      Thanks for all the kind words! Greatly Appreciated!

    • Don Bobbitt profile image

      Don Bobbitt 4 years ago from Ruskin Florida

      Funny! Funny! Funny!

      I am sharing this one right away , as soon as I wipe the tears from my eyes from laughing so much.

      In-Laws! Everyone has them and some of them just need to be re-paid for how they act toards you.

      Some of your ideas are a little radical (and expensive), but they are all FUNNY!

      Don

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Don -

      Good to see you here!

      I recognize I went a little overboard on some of them, but I was trying to take care of everyone. lol Some may have a little worse in-laws than others, so the severity may need to be a little harsher. I'm really glad this put a smile on your face. It has served its purpose in doing so!

      Greatly appreciate the comments! Many Thanks!

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      There is something for everyone in this hub. Someone tried to give me a rabbit once. Hmmm.... what was she trying to say? Hehe. Fun hub and voted up!

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Sageleaf 4 years ago from Western NC

      Haha. You are too funny. Poor in-laws will have it coming. Enjoyed your humor and the laughs and I DO hope you won't be receiving any of these from your in-laws, because we know what that means. HAHA.

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Jeannie -

      Good to see you here!

      I do try to ensure all will have something coming, especially if they deserve it. I just hate for anyone to be left out! : ) There is a dual meaning with the rabbits. It could be as stated, or perhaps, could someone be questioning the need for a pregnancy test? Oops! Sorry, again, just trying to cover all the bases!

      Thanks for stopping by! Have a great holiday!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Cyndi -

      Good of you to visit!

      I don't think there's any problem, as my surviving in-laws have never bought me the first gift. My oldest daughter's in-laws are the few that I've met in Ky, but I took care of them at my daughter's wedding reception. I looked at all the people on his side of the family, thought about how much it would cost me each year in gifts, and proclaimed, "Damn, I know how to get a family reunion together with this bunch. I'm just going to pull a semi up in the middle of Main Street and holler Free Cheese!" Most haven't talked to me since. : ) The moment, interesting. The money I've saved, priceless! lol

      Thanks for commenting and the kind words! Merry Christmas!

    • phoenix2327 profile image

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      OMG, you so did not. ROLF. Oh, you are wicked.

      Best wishes for a wonderful Christmas.

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      phoenix2327 -

      In honesty, I did! Not one of my more sane moments, but still, a moment to remember. I said it to my wife, but it was overheard and quickly passed throughout the room. I can only imagine what was being told as it made it's way throughout the crowd and into the ears of the last recipient. I was from the "big city", anyway, which only validated their opinion of "city folks." As with many who have performed stand-up, my tongue is sometimes faster than the brain synopsis to the common sense area. lol

      May you and yours have a fantastic Merry Christmas, filled with smiles and love! Many thanks!

    • Cathy Fidelibus profile image

      Ms. Immortal 4 years ago from NJ

      Loved this so funny. Could have used this advice a few years back when I had in-laws. Luckily for me they are no longer a problem:o)

      voted up and shared!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Cathy -

      Good of you to stop in!

      Glad you enjoyed this one. Just a little something to bring some humor to the season (or vengeance for some, lol).

      Thanks for the read and comments! Have a great Christmas!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Happy day after Christmas RC.

    • Daisy Mariposa profile image

      Daisy Mariposa 4 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

      Rich,

      I came back to read your terrific article again. How do you come up with your Hub ideas?

    • duffsmom profile image

      P. Thorpe Christiansen 4 years ago from Pacific Northwest, USA

      Great fun - loved it!

    • tehjib profile image

      Kudrat-E-Khuda Barat 4 years ago from Bangladesh

      Made me laugh imagining the face after getting the gifts.

      Great Hub!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Linda -

      Good to see you, Sunshine!

      I trust your Christmas was fantastic! Thanks so for giving me this gift today! I've had your lasagna on my mind ever since reading your hub the other day. Waiting on payday, and then .....

      Thanks for stopping in! Greatly appreciated!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Daisy -

      You never let down a friend, do you? : ) I really appreciate you helping me out. Hub ideas? Actually, most of my hubs come from real experiences that I stretch to the extremes. A newscast on meteor showers started one, this one when my wife asked what we should buy my daughters in-laws, and my one on hospital treatment from my stay there. A friend of mine once asked how we wrote jokes when I did stand-up. I told him, "Just start talking about something and don't stop ... something's bound to be funny." To show him I looked up on a hill we were driving by and spied a church and a graveyard. "Now, Bill, if a restaurant had a graveyard next to it, would you eat there? Of course not! So why do churches have graveyard's next to them? It's not good advertising! Come on in, worship, and end up staying next door ... forever!" He got the point. lol

      Thanks again for all your support, Daisy! You're fantastic!

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      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Duffsmom -

      Good to meet you!

      Am happy you enjoyed this piece. Good to see you smile!

      I appreciate you stopping in! Many Thanks!

    • rcrumple profile image
      Author

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      tehjib -

      Good to see you here!

      You have a hint of sadist in you, my friend! I love it! lol Glad you enjoyed this.

      Thanks for coming by and commenting! Much appreciated!

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      Dr. Gorav Gupta 2 years ago from New Delhi

      Great gift ideas ! I appreciate your hub ideas.

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