Accidents happen, but not accidentally.
January 21st, 2018;
Exactly ten days after I had been officially 21 years old;
I posted on my Instagram story a quote that I’ve always said – because I’ve always, quite strongly, believed in it; by guts and by experience: “Accidents happen, but not accidentally.” Someone replied: “Right! There must be a reason.”
Normally, I would have started that day by traveling with my friend for a VISA Rendezvous; but a day before, he canceled that for a necessary change in the plan. As a result, I thought that I would have a free day and that I was finally to catch some sleep – It was an empty day between two exam days.
…but that free time I had wasn’t by accident.
In the very morning of that day, my father felt sick and passed a small mission of his to me. I just had to accompany my aunt to the hospital, not because she was sick, but because her younger sister was in a critical situation that we’ve never witnessed – although she had made it from many other diseases; plus, she was half paralyzed. We arrived there, my mom was there as well, along with another aunt of mine. We brought the breakfast for them as they ate almost nothing and had been staying all night long by the side of our patient. The sky was blue that morning, the weather was mild, with a bit of chill in the air – obviously because it was 8 a.m. With wonder, I was standing up for a while in the room, facing my youngest, strongest aunt in her bed. Almost thirty years of illness, since she was a young lady, and now this!
“How is she able to fight all thi…” my inner thoughts were swiftly interrupted by one of my aunts: “Have a seat!”
The only place I could hardly sit in was beside our patient’s feet. She was freezing in the same position, moaning all night long, and no one could figure out whether she was asleep or awake. I felt very uncomfortable, but it was a very exceptional case, so nothing to complain about.
I soon was listening to my aunts telling me stories about their past, along with their brothers – my father and my two other uncles. I listened to a number precious stories I had never known about; fights they had had, their infancy together, and some turning points in their lives. I appreciated hearing knowing all that.
…but being there planlessly wasn’t by accident.
I went back home after that and spent the rest of my time against the screen of the computer, navigating, watching, and studying. I also remember posting something in our Third-year English Department Facebook Group for the sake of asking about an exam paper – or at least that’s what I thought, starting the post with this quote: “Be merciful to those on the earth and the One above the heavens will have mercy upon you.”
…but this very part of the post wasn’t by accident.
It was about sunset time when my father came back with my mother from the hospital. By that time, I was having a group chat with my second family “EXCLUSIVE”. We were eleven classmates that had spent so much time together and had built a strong bond along their encounter in the university, all in a group chat. And like every other time, before any exam, we were revising collectively.
“Ala, please go buy two packs of diapers real quick.” That was my mom asking me to go and buy something my sick aunt always needed. I was so focused with the group revision and couldn’t pause the flow of messages. “Just a bit more and I’ll go,” I replied.
…but that delay wasn’t by accident.
As soon as felt my mom’s irritation towards me minutes after, I got up and told her that I’m on my way. I was putting on my jacket getting closer to the exit door…
“No need to!” Mom said.
“What! What are yo…”
“Your aunt died.” She said.
Those skipped lines are all what happened after that. Too much to narrate, and a lot of scattered thoughts and wild emotions, that I was able to hold all inside me at that very instant. But again, I prefer to skip that and get to the most important part.
Remember that cancelled travel? It didn’t accidentally happen. It was no doubt a reason to visit my aunt, to learn new things about her, and capture the last picture of her in my mind, just before she died.
Remember that post from the group? It wasn’t by accident, and not merely for the exam paper. It was no doubt an early calling for God’s mercy, in an unexpected big day, a day of loss for us, and a day of retreatment for her from this miserable life.
Remember that extra time I had before going to buy diapers? It wasn’t by accident. It was no doubt for the sake of keeping that money from being spent on a product that had lost his master, her.
But did you remember the quote I posted in the Instagram story in this big day? “Accidents happen, but not accidentally.”
YES! Neither that happened accidentally.
Literally everything I did that day was an important puzzle piece that contributed in the making of the whole day, and that paved the way for a fresh light soul to leave this earth, and probably this whole existence.
N.B: If you're reading this article, know that it is not by accident.
She was one of the closest people to me.
She always had a wide smile every time she sees us.
She was always super supportive, even though sometimes, she didn’t know what we were doing.
She was a hard worker.
She was the best listener.
She was the most warm-hearted person.
She had the strongest faith I’ve ever seen.
She was the most compassionate person.
She was an angel, a walking miracle.
She was the perfect mom for children that were never meant to be.
She was someone to NEVER let down, NEVER leave, and NEVER hate.
To her – the closest to my heart of my father’s brothers & sisters, God I ask you, from the deepest point of my heart, with the purest point of faith I still have, to bless her and to reward her with your ever-lasting Heavens.
Ala Hafferssas (author) on February 20, 2018:
Amen. Thank you Lina for amplifying your opinion!
Yes, I agree with you to a high extent. And when it comes to our personal interpretations, the circle of our knowledge will always exceed the circle of our ignorance, thus we humans naturally know a little to nothing about almost everything, especially the abstract or the unknown.
Lina on February 19, 2018:
Absolutely, everything and every person appears or disappears from our life in the right time and for the right reason except our understanding which is most of the time wrong or at least comes "a bit late".
May allah bless her soul and grant her jannah.
Ala Hafferssas (author) on January 27, 2018:
Thank you Jiji! Appreciate it
Jiji on January 27, 2018:
I totally agree on your quote, because I myself faced these kind of situations in my life to the extent that I can't really deny it ... I've read this article so many times that I lost the count ... the style, the feelings, the words you've used !! All that made me feel what you've been through ... Hope you're doing well ... And keep up the great work mate